If I killed myself, what would God most likely say to me? I could say that I was really depressed and wanted the pain to end. Or sorry, I didn't mean to cut so deep. My friends would probably wish they could say that why didn't you talk to someone first even though nobody is really listening. But most likely Jesus would tell me, " I really loved you so much that I died for you". I was with you all the time, why didn't you trust me to help you with this? You could have talked to me, I was listening. I really loved you. Remember all the sermons you heard about my love? God would say that I loved you too and sent my Son to die for you, I wanted to be like a Father to you. Wasn't our love for you enough? Weren't we enough to love you and give you what you need? I loved you all the way to the gates of hell but you reject me I'll have to let you go. Sorry.
Lord help me to know your love now, while I'm still here and help me to trust you. I don't want to wait till its too late then find out how much you loved me and I missed out on it.
If you're worried that you're getting too serious about these thoughts, be getting some more help. Are you sharing these fears with a counselor, friend, minister?
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Last edited by sandinmyears; 15th December 2003 at 04:21 PM.
I'm confused, is this a letter you wrote or someone else?
I have a friend who just came to me this past week who is considering suicide and being I attempted myself 3 months ago it just broke my heart to know he is struggling so much and that he is just in so much pain. If it weren't so awkward I would just go up to him and just wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I love him (as a friend and a brother). I encourage anyone that knows anyone considering suicide to spend time with them, let them know they are loved, do something nice for them so they know they are loved.
Debbi, I'm sorry that you have been delt a hand that is overwhelming for you. I can't say that I know exactly what you are going through, but just from your letter I can say that I know those feelings. I have a friend who is also going through those feelings. I really do wish I was down there in Alabama with you because I would tell you that I love you and I would sit with you and pray with you and tell you how important you are and most of all I would sit there and listen. I know you are saying, yeah right, but I know the pain that you are going through. I know what it's like to feel like no one is listening, especially when they really aren't listening. I know you are having doubts about your life and about God. I would encourage you to try another church and find someone, an elder's wife, a pastor, or someone to talk to. I would also challenge you to check out this book, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. It is 40 chapters long, but you only read 1 chapter a day, I believe I saw it in the christian book store for around $12 the other day......I can tell you that it has made a change in my life and my friend is only on day 3 and he has told me that it's given him alot to think about and he feels that it is going to help him through his situation. I know this much though, there is always someone there for us to go to even when we think there isn't, I will pray that God sends that person to you.
Bill,
Funny that you should mention "The Purpose Driven Life." A few in our Sunday School have been talking about it-- our pastor included.
It's a really big book right now, our church just finished the 40 days of purpose and alot of churchs are buying the book and using it as their wednesday night bible studys....I only wish I would have been going to church when they were doing it so now my pastor and I are doing one chapter a week...I have alot of problems and 1 chapter a week is about all I can handle right now, lol.....I'd recommend anyone that is dealing with anything in their life that they read it.....it's a great book for even the strongest christian also.....
Don't even think about it...I haven't even got to know you yet!!! Besides what's going on...you can tell me...a lot of us had walked that road before... don't fall off the path, that's what the devil wants you to do...all these problems are temporary, but eternity in heaven is not....think things over....you can send me a message if you want....Bain_adaneth
I'm not suicidal, this is a letter about suicide. It is actually a prayer at the end. "Lord help me to know your love now, while I'm still here and help me to trust you. I don't want to wait till its too late then find out how much you loved me and I missed out on it". I want to know God's love now not wish someday I had. I thought what God might would have said to me and what my friends might would have said if I wasn't here. When people talked about near death experiences, they would talk about feeling God's love so much stronger than here and the things he said to them. It's like don't wait till someones gone and wished you had told them or listened to them type of message. Used to, when I was depressed though I thought more about this stuff though. It's not a matter of the question of making it or not, it's knowing God now. Sorry, I don't make sense because it just made sense to me. I want to know what God would say to me now about his love and trust." Sometimes it's like I'm in a wall and others don't understand me and there is something I'm terrified of but I can't remember what. But I want God to find a way to get through to me.
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