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melody123 · #1 2nd October 2012, 08:48 PM

Hi.

I met someone in the most unlikely situation. We were both instantly attracted to one another, however, what was most meaningful to me, is that I felt like we connected on a higher spiritual level.. It was like we were of the same nature..two peas in a pod... I knew him and he knew me. I guess the approriate word would be Kindred spirits. Needless to say, I fell madly in love with him quickly.

I have never met anyone like this in my whole life, and it's been so hard to understand why he's turned out to not be available to me. He is already in a committed relationship.

There hasn't been a day since I met him, that I don't think about him. I feel so sad all the time.. I want to let him go, but yet I don't or can't. It just seems so cruel.

I think that my Will is seriously involved. I have prayed and read scriptures on God's love, and it's helped, but I still continue to pine for him.. It's crazy because I know it's so futile. It prevents me from moving on..

Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

Pal Handy · #2 2nd October 2012, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by melody123

Hi.

I met someone in the most unlikely situation. We were both instantly attracted to one another, however, what was most meaningful to me, is that I felt like we connected on a higher spiritual level.. It was like we were of the same nature..two peas in a pod... I knew him and he knew me. I guess the approriate word would be Kindred spirits. Needless to say, I fell madly in love with him quickly.

I have never met anyone like this in my whole life, and it's been so hard to understand why he's turned out to not be available to me. He is already in a committed relationship.

There hasn't been a day since I met him, that I don't think about him. I feel so sad all the time.. I want to let him go, but yet I don't or can't. It just seems so cruel.

I think that my Will is seriously involved. I have prayed and read scriptures on God's love, and it's helped, but I still continue to pine for him.. It's crazy because I know it's so futile. It prevents me from moving on..

Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

For this reason God asks us to put Him first in our lives so
that no one will replace Him as the One we love above all others.

When you are young and love hits you like it has in your case
it seems that you could never live without this "one" person but
the truth is you can love another and they can be all and more than
this one you place such a high premium on.

True love is selfless so if this person is happy in another relationship
you should be pleased and thankful that they are blessed and fulfilled
in a love shared with another.

Do not live in the past.
Do not become fixated on this one person.
Trust in the Lord and surrender yourself to Him and His care
and pray for this person that you love and move on.

Life will go on and you will love another a long as you realize that God
is your first love and all love originates and come from Him.

Possessive love will fail and leave you helpless, bitter and unfulfilled but
God's love will cause you to go on knowing that God has a wonderful
plan for your life as you give up your demands and surrender to His
desire to bless you in His way and timing.

I thought I would die at one time and yet God has given me a wonderful
life with a wonderful woman that He brought to me and looking back in
hindsight I see all that I couldn't see before and I realize that God
blessed me in greater ways than I was willing to settled for.

Trust in the Lord and ask Him to give you His unselfish love
that will cause you to desire the best for the one you loved,
even if it is without you.

Barricade24 · #3 2nd October 2012, 09:28 PM

I've been exactly where you are now. I was once deeply in love with a girl. She was my motivation for pretty much everything. Of course, she was and is still in a relationship. Naturally, I felt heartbroken and jealous. After a while I gradually let her go. I eventually found someone else who I like better than her. Which to me was something I never expected to find.

Of course she lives so far away... Anyway, my point is that is very normal to find someone you really like to the point of total obession. But you will eventually come to realize that God is there for you 24/7 and loves you way more than you can possibly comprehend.

I think you just need focus on God's love. Maybe that will get your heart back in track. I'm in no way saying that deeply loving someone and wanting to be with them is wrong. But we as humans can get very caried away.

I hope this helps you out.

BFine · #4 2nd October 2012, 10:15 PM

What you are describing is infatuation...romance movies and books
are filled with that type of thing.

Instant attraction, instant love, instant "knowing each other"-- "I can't
go on without him"-- etc. Yep, been through that myself
and it basically stinks because the person is usually off limits or unavailable.

Our first love-- Jesus is the answer to your heartache.
He loves with an everlasting love, he will never forsake you nor will he leave you.
He doesn't tempt you with someone who isn't available; however, our adversary(devil)
will throw that bait in your pathway, for he comes to kill, steal and destroy.

He seeks to derail your faith walk, put you at odds with the Lord.
He wants you to doubt God, so he can continue his assault--he
wants to make your testimony a mockery-- he wants you estranged from God
and bitter.

Now that you know WHO is at work, start guarding your heart and sure
up the weak areas in your "armor". Stay focused on the Lord!
ASAP-- Connect with mature Christians who can pray for you and encourage you
during this "battle."

xfreakazoidx · #5 3rd October 2012, 06:00 AM

Yeah I'd be careful. Most everyone tends to think the first person they click with is the "one".

I thought that and ended up in a abusive relationship, where I also lost my virginity and then got tossed aside. With my second relationship I again fell instantly in love, but this time I had learned a bit more, however still let myself be used and again was left as the woman was actually with 12 other guys. >.>

My fourth relationship I pretty much had learned alot before hand. I loved this woman, but knew there may be some differences down the road. But she left me because of mental health issues. I did have a long distance relationship with a woman before even the first woman. But that ended when I found out the woman was married still.

My latest relationship came about after I gave up looking for love and let God guide to me someone if it was part of his plan. And because I let him Guide me I have truly met someone that is perfect for me. We've been blessed every step of the way and neither of us has had doubts about the other. I look back at my other relationships and realize that was not love despite me thinking it was.

This one really is love. It feels 100% different. As if God himself put us together (well he did afterall). As a couple we focus on God first and pray about everything. Which is why we feel blessed that he continues to help us out and bring us together since we live over 8,000 miles apart.

So as stated be careful about instant love/first loves. Also lets not forget the fact he is with someone else. God wouldn't let him be for you while hes with someone. God likely has someone else out there for you. I'd let him go and realize one day God will give you someone beyond even what you expected! I know thats how I feel with my fiance.

And more importantly both of us have on true love first...God. We give up seeing each other often times to do things like go to church. Where as when you in that fake love sort of stage, you tend to skip everything in your life to be with that person.

wtrailer · #6 3rd October 2012, 07:25 AM

Wow! These are some great responses to the original post! I think the key to this situation is not allowing your emotions to control your decisions. It's so easy to fall head over heels for someone and believe they are "the one." It's one of the biggest deceptions of our age. Every thought, feeling, emotion must be tested according to the will of God and obviously, if the person is taken, it is not the will of God. Just look at all of the movie stars out there who are constantly finding "the one." Tom Cruise comes to mind - guess Katie Holmes wasn't the "the one" after all. The good news is "the one" does exist. His name is Jesus. He won't disappoint.

LilLamb219 · #7 3rd October 2012, 09:43 AM

How long have you known him? Are you sure that you really know who he is and what he's like and that you haven't created a false image of him in your head, building him up to be better than what he really is? Cuz, I've done that before and it took years for me to wake up and say, Whoa, what have I done? He's not THAT guy!

Dragnog · #8 3rd October 2012, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by melody123

Hi.

I met someone in the most unlikely situation. We were both instantly attracted to one another, however, what was most meaningful to me, is that I felt like we connected on a higher spiritual level.. It was like we were of the same nature..two peas in a pod... I knew him and he knew me. I guess the approriate word would be Kindred spirits. Needless to say, I fell madly in love with him quickly.

I have never met anyone like this in my whole life, and it's been so hard to understand why he's turned out to not be available to me. He is already in a committed relationship.

There hasn't been a day since I met him, that I don't think about him. I feel so sad all the time.. I want to let him go, but yet I don't or can't. It just seems so cruel.

I think that my Will is seriously involved. I have prayed and read scriptures on God's love, and it's helped, but I still continue to pine for him.. It's crazy because I know it's so futile. It prevents me from moving on..

Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

I have two simple questions to ask: Do you love this man enough to let him go? Do you love God enough to trust he has a plan for your life?

Quasicentennial · #9 3rd October 2012, 01:48 PM

It took me a very long while to understand our future experience as brothers and sisters of Christ. Obviously like every other crush on certain individuals I had in my past, I did not really turn my passionate desires into a reality ever since I heard this Christian phrase:brothers and sisters of Christ. My imagination began to go wild with excitement every time I wondered about our ultimate experience of everlasting happiness inside God's protective accommodation-free community-built city: Kingdom of God .;*;. Rev 21:2 .:*;.
I just hope and pray for those I had a temporary crush on will end up as brothers and sisters of Christ in God's kingdom. Unfortunately I don't think we will experience sexual feelings once we are transformed with new Christ-transformed minds and bodies when Jesus returns and defeats Satan and his deceiving power of sin.
Having the supernatural confidence and joy like Jesus Christ cannot be felt 100 per cent certainty with our earth-born minds and bodies because of Adam and Eve who had sinned, and as a result, put a huge limitation on our intelligence, emotions and our body strength when it comes to age of youth.
May our victorious Lord Jesus give you patience in knowing our future destiny to be together inside his future-coming kingdom where nobody has to worry about faulty electrical wiring and components inside homes - whether it is an old caravan home or a huge castle-like mansion - because God has free accommodation for everyone where advanced materials have been built in our new future-coming homes that's beyond our 21st century health and safety standards, especially where God knows our future urbanization towards an ultimate green clean future. Yet God's kingdom is the best that's yet to come. Praise Jesus, as you spiritually live in our faithful hearts, we wait patiently for your victorious return to Earth.:*:.

playbluebabble · #10 5th October 2012, 01:20 AM

Originally Posted by melody123

Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

As Christians we are spiritual, and so our actions are tied into Christ. I have noticed this with spiritual Christians, where they will put the feelings of Christ onto a loved one as if they are the church or some vast body of souls.

But it is not real.

We are all really married into a conglomerate. We are born into it. We are of it. One may be closer to us then others, as a hand is close to an arm, but we are all of the same body and the same substance.

I have fallen deep, head over heels in love quite a number of times, and am very glad to have gotten out of it.

The decision was simple, "if you love them, let them go".

I will admit my own cases are just a little bit weird, but the same facts remain true for anyone.

True love is a matter of spiritual closeness of the heart, if someone is found to be close to you truly spiritually, they remain in your heart and will never really go away because they are a part of you.

I do not think we are literally a hand or an arm, but we are a mass body, where we could effectively fall in love with many different people. What then. Is one really better then the other, or do not all have many things about them which are loveable?