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  #1  
Unread 7th September 2012, 05:58 AM
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What happened to me? I am not attracted to men anymore.

I am not a lesbian and do not have any desire to be with a man or a woman. I find some women and men physically attractive but it's very rare. When a guy shows interest in me, I lose interest, and don't have any desire to talk to any of the guys I had chances with. You have the cute guys and the ugly guys. The well endowed and the not well endowed. The guy who has money and the guy who doesn't have money. The guy with the nice car or the crappy one. The guy who is educated and the one who is not. The guy who has a house and the one who doesn't. The guy who is a so called Christian and the one who isn't. The guy who is nice and the guy who is mean. The guy who respects I am celibate and the guy who tries to force himself on me. The same ol boring dating scene. I lost all desire to get married. I have a child and I am content. I would love to find someone I could marry and be happy with but every time I really think about it, I find it kind of revolting. I love sex but I don't want to fornicate anymore. I rarely get turned on sexually any way. I had these issues for the past 6 years. I was attracted to my sons father but not anymore.

I don't know if its just black men I am no longer attracted to or what. Race never mattered to me and changing my race in dating is not a fixer upper. I just want to know what happened 6 years ago.

P.S. sorry if I said some obscene things, I just was trying to get my point across.
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  #2  
Unread 7th September 2012, 10:45 PM
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Maybe God is just making it easy for you to find a new focus in your life ... either temporarily or for the long term. There is nothing wrong with this and maybe it even is healthier depending on what you choose to do with the time you used to focus toward pursuing romantic relationship.

(PS...do you realize that you posted on the "mature singles" site...as us "old" folk?)
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  #3  
Unread 8th September 2012, 01:48 PM
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That is fine, I intended to post here for a wiser opinion and thanks. I never really cared for romantic relationships but I did thought it was something I had to have. When I realize I really do not have to have it then I moved on being comfortable with being who I am
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  #4  
Unread 8th September 2012, 02:47 PM
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From your post, you sound healthy the way you are. But your post seems to be saying you want to understand this difference in your life. That your are observing yourself as being different than the average person around you.

Well, at this point I can only say I don't have enough of info about your life to put any piece of it together. Nor to I have a word from God about you.

So what happened 6 yrs ago?
Do you see something in your parents life that lead your to be how you are?
Did you have an experience that cause to you not like romantic relationships?
Can your thank God for the emotions He creates us with?
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  #5  
Unread 8th September 2012, 03:26 PM
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I was really living and walking in the Holy spirit when I was 20 to 21. God was teaching me the importance of walking and living in His Spirit. I just realize that being alone with God is greater than anything on this earth including marriage. Others tried using my past experiences and hurts to say that is why you don't want marriage. I believe that is not true because the last men to abuse me, I am able to love him and communicate to him as if he was my friend. Even men in my past, I dont even remember their names but when I think about them, I pray for them, and wonder if they are suffering because of the things they did. Because if your human, you can't just do people wrong and not suffer from it emotionally, spiritually, or emotionally. One day or another its going to hit them no matter how much they are in denial. I hope all the men repented and ask the Lord in their lives. If I was bitter or angry it would show and a bitter and angry woman wouldn't pray and hope for the best for the one who sexually abused her.

Another thing, my mom think its because I never really met anyone who had a great marriage. Everyone in my family is struggling in their marriage or have struggled. If I get married, there is no way in the lake of fire I will live like everyone in my family. I couldn't be married if my husband and I are not rooted in the Lord. I don't want marriage because as a mother, I barely have time for myself, so I can imagine how much more I would have to die to myself if I get married. I would basically be living for my son and my husband as unto the Lord, and I will be gone, there will be no more me, no more anything. I do not want the responsibility of marriage. It is hard work, despite what others think about the man lifting a financial burden. WHATEVER, he can keep his money, i do not want it, If I need a spiritual head, I get a church...
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  #6  
Unread 8th September 2012, 04:58 PM
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HisWord,
Sounds to me that God has indeed called you to live a celibate life. We know that God does that for some people.

I just realize that being alone with God is greater than anything on this earth including marriage.

I would say to be sure the way you word what God spoke to you is God's calling for your life and not what God calls everyone to. I know that isn't the way the Spirit has talked to me about his calling for my life, for example.

I'd say everything you wrote sounds really healthy to me. So what happened to you doesn't sound to be from problems earlier in your life but God call on your life.
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  #7  
Unread 10th September 2012, 03:24 PM
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If you are not attracted to men it is becuase you were probably traumatized in some way. I can relate to this. Keep praying about this. You will find God's will when you keep yourself low and humble. Try not to develop a prideful attitude about being better than men (which I used to do). This is your time to be with God and your son. This may not be your time for romance in this season of your life. That season may come later.
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All of these, to varying degrees, are incompatible with natural law." ---- Dr. Jerome Lejeune, geneticist who discovered the cause of Down Syndrome.
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  #8  
Unread 10th September 2012, 06:14 PM
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I doubt its a traumatic thing because I got use to being molested and raped. I need men but I am only interested in trying to be friends with my sons father. I never wanted a husband since I was 12. I never wanted a boyfriend either.
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Last edited by HisW0rd; 10th September 2012 at 07:04 PM.
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  #9  
Unread 11th September 2012, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by HisW0rd View Post
I doubt its a traumatic thing because I got use to being molested and raped. .
What? That is very very traumatic. That is a horrible thing that has happened to you. You need healing. I hope you can see that what happened to you was not normal or something to get used to. Sending you hugs.
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"Contraception: to make love without a chid. Artificial Insemination: to make a child without making love. Abortion: to unmake the child. Pornography: to unmake love.
All of these, to varying degrees, are incompatible with natural law." ---- Dr. Jerome Lejeune, geneticist who discovered the cause of Down Syndrome.
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  #10  
Unread 11th September 2012, 08:04 AM
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Well, I'm the first to say if something in the past didn't bother you when it happened then don't make it a cause you emotional pain after the fact. But I do think it would be good to be sure your being honest with yourself that you past rapes and abuse aren't still having a negative effect on your attitudes. Our society does paint rape as being in a small group of the worst things that can happen to a woman.
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