What would you think if your husband/wife made dinner, then threw out your portion you had dished out when you were out of the room? Earlier today, my mom, sister, and I went to the evening church service and thought my stepfather and other sisters would come later (I had to be early to rehearse with the choir). They never came, but when we came back, my stepfather had prepared dinner. We started to fill plates with food. I left my plate on the counter and when I came back, the food was gone. Apparently, my stepfather had thrown it out, thinking it was my mom's. He also threw away the rest of the meat from dinner. It was obviously a malicious act, and he has done other things like this before. What would you think and/or do if your husband/wife did this to you? Also, how bad do you think this kind of behavior is?
__________________ God allows trials in our lives so that we learn and draw ever closer to Him!
God will never give you more than you can handle.
(These statements are really for me, cuz I forget sometimes.)
I think its pretty terrible that he would throw out her food on purpose. That sounds very strange to me.
But without totally understanding your situation, I'm also afraid its in-between your stepdad and your mom. You could urge them to go to counseling, which it sounds like they need... but you can't be their counselor, you know?
What would you think if your husband/wife made dinner, then threw out your portion you had dished out when you were out of the room? Earlier today, my mom, sister, and I went to the evening church service and thought my stepfather and other sisters would come later (I had to be early to rehearse with the choir). They never came, but when we came back, my stepfather had prepared dinner. We started to fill plates with food. I left my plate on the counter and when I came back, the food was gone. Apparently, my stepfather had thrown it out, thinking it was my mom's. He also threw away the rest of the meat from dinner. It was obviously a malicious act, and he has done other things like this before. What would you think and/or do if your husband/wife did this to you? Also, how bad do you think this kind of behavior is?
As strange as that sounds, I am hoping there is a meaningful reason behind this alleged action of your stepfather.
Do you know why that happened or happens? Did they have a fight prior to this or.... The couple obviously have a few things to work out in their relationship. Try not to take sides, I know that may be hard, take it to the Lord, prayer changes things.
Blessings
__________________ Having Jesus in your life and depending fully on Him is not an option, it is the ONLY way to live...ALL other ground is sinking sand!
First, are you sure it was malicious? I've thrown out things my husband was going to eat, never on purpose.
Second, it really is not your place to get involved in your mother's marriage. I'm sorry, I know it sucks to feel like your mom may be being treated badly, but you are not the right person to get involved. Perhaps if you asked your pastor to speak to your mother?
But do pray. Prayer for someone you love is never inappropriate, and it is very powerful. Pray for both your mother and your step-father, and for harmony within the family.
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What would you think if your husband/wife made dinner, then threw out your portion you had dished out when you were out of the room? Earlier today, my mom, sister, and I went to the evening church service and thought my stepfather and other sisters would come later (I had to be early to rehearse with the choir). They never came, but when we came back, my stepfather had prepared dinner. We started to fill plates with food. I left my plate on the counter and when I came back, the food was gone. Apparently, my stepfather had thrown it out, thinking it was my mom's. He also threw away the rest of the meat from dinner. It was obviously a malicious act, and he has done other things like this before. What would you think and/or do if your husband/wife did this to you? Also, how bad do you think this kind of behavior is?
I think no matter what explanation is given, this is the behavior of a bully. Unfortunately, we all at times do fall into emotional bullying of each other. I would not try to justify his behavior in any way. It is obviously not a misunderstanding since he told you it was intentional.
However, it is an important distinction to know whether this is a pattern of behavior or a weak moment. How a person handles anger is important and how a person handles making a mistake is important. If your stepfather recognizes that this was immature and hurtful behavior and wants to work on it; that is a much better situation. We all have trouble handling our emotions at times and it is crucial to be honest when that happens. For example, saying something like " I got overwhelmed with my emotions and did something stupid without thinking" is a lot different from " They better have learned their lesson because the next time I won't be so nice!"
In and of itself it is just a stupid and immature temper fit. If it is a pattern it is disturbing behavior that is borderline abusive. If he is an otherwise stable person, then this may have been just an exception where he was stressed out and did something stupid. But if it continues, it is unacceptable behavior.
I lived in an abusive household with an abusive spouse in the past and living with an emotional bully does take it's toll after a while. My opinion, your situation sounds like your stepfather would benefit from some counseling. I am not sure what to advise you though since it is really your mother's place to handle it. I would definitely go to your mother and tell her how uncomfortable it makes you and discuss it with her.
Thank you everyone for your advice! There's actually a lot more to it, and similar behavior has happened before. I can't really explain everything because that would take too long, but my stepfather has also thrown objects when he's been angry and he tried to choke my sister a few years ago, so this is not something that just concerns my mom and my stepfather. He has never expressed any remorse over this behavior and has no desire to go to counseling, so the situation doesn't look like it will improve easily. I'd appreciate your prayers, and if anyone has a story of how a situation like this got turned around, I'd love to hear it. Thank y'all.
__________________ God allows trials in our lives so that we learn and draw ever closer to Him!
God will never give you more than you can handle.
(These statements are really for me, cuz I forget sometimes.)
my stepfather has also thrown objects when he's been angry and he tried to choke my sister a few years ago, so this is not something that just concerns my mom and my stepfather.
That is more than just rudeness, that's physical abuse and you need to find someone in authority who can step in and put a stop to it. For your safety and the safety of your family, you need to tell someone what's happening.
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