Struggles with SexualityA new forum open to ALL members who are struggling with sexuality issues (including homosexuality). All posts will be reviewed before being made public. NOTE: Only Christians are allowed to reply and offer support here.
For as long as I remember I have felt that I should be female. I have never fit in with the guys and the only time I did feel I fit in was when I was in a group with women. As far as I can think of I dont enjoy anything that is manish nor do I want any mannish traits.
As I stated in my hello thread, I have prayed about this my whole life in one form or the other. For years until last year, and I am 43, I prayed God would make me more manly but that never happened. Last December I finally found a website that helped me understand what transgender is. I have since started counsling and my therapist is also helping me understand. I am still praying over this and all that I can think of is that transitioning is the right thing to do.
I would love to discuss this with anyone who wants to. Both for and against. I only think it is fair to get as much input about this as possible.
I cannot say what is and is not the right thing to do in terms of transitioning in general as i'm that awful person who thinks it differs depending on the individual involved and whether their issue is the gender they believe themselves to be or with the societal expectations of the gender they were born.
If, with the support of a good therapist, you come to the conclusion that transitioning is the only way you can start to feel comfortable being who you are then the only way to determine this is the case is to transition. Being a complex and often poorly understand issue which can create some interesting opinions which whilst based on scripture do not take into account the actual relevance of the scriptures they've cherry picked to the issue they are focusing on. Whilst their is evidence that those who transition regret their decision later on I tend to learn towards assuming their regrets come from the selection of a therapist who pushed transitioning rather than exploring whether it is genuinely the gender of the patient which is the issue, or societal expectations.
Whilst people often bring up scripture to support their belief that transexuality is a sin I sometimes have to question the depth at which they are looking at the verses which, at face value, support what they believe. The Bible provides moral guidance but is not a literal rulebook, if it were all those who bring up scripture when faced with something they disagree with should take the time to see where in their life they are wilfully going against the Old Testament. Whilst scripture in its entirety should be taken into consideration I do believe it important to take into account not only the cultural context but the context of that chapter. Anyway, i'm moving away from the topic itself.
I wish you the best and hope someone is able to make a far more informed reply responds soon.
Last edited by Kristen.NewCreation; 13th July 2012 at 03:45 PM.
You are what you are born. At the moment you don't see it. You were born a boy. Everything your parents'/guardians did to you was because you were a boy.
I thought everything was my fault until years later when I finally understood that my parents had the problem. My dad was a homosexual and my mother was incestuous (no wonder I felt the way I did). You don't understand what happened to you. You are not a woman in any sense of the word and you never will be. You are a man and because you are a man, your parents/guardians reacted to you in the way they did and brought you up in the way they did. You cannot fathom at the moment the hatred they had for your masculinity.
Ask God to reveal these things to you. God as a Father is so different from your parents you cannot even fathom it. In the oldest book of the Bible there are verses specifically for your situation. Job 36:13-15 says:
13 “The godless in heart harbor resentment;
even when he fetters them, they do not cry for help.
14 They die in their youth,
among male prostitutes of the shrines.
15 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering;
he speaks to them in their affliction.
You've been afflicted by others. Seek to understand your suffering and affliction. And obey God. The truth will set you free. And don't give in to your parents' wishes.
Obzocky, Thank you for posting. I am going to counseling and it is intense. I have had people bring up scripture and when they do I read the scripture but also look at the context of it. Your advice is exactly what I am doing and I appreciate your input.
FtcdatSAPoD, thank you for posting as well. I am soo sorry that happened to you. I didnt have anything like that happen to me though. If anything I grew up alone. My dad was a cross country truck driver and my mom worked 2 jobs. My sister was 5 years older than me and we didnt do much together. I had a cousin next door to me and 2 more friends of his next door to him but didnt enjoy playing with them. I just didnt fit in. I spent most of my time alone with the TV or books.
I have prayed and prayed alot about this. I am trying to pray every way anybody suggests to make sure but the answer always seems to be I am following the right track. I havent mentioned this before but I could swear that God is starting to let the plan he has for me blossom in my head. I never mention that because it seemed presumptuous of me to say that. Since starting to deal with the community I see a major problem with how alot of them have been dealt with by some Christians and feel I need to try to lead the unsaved people to the Lord.
Last edited by Kristen.NewCreation; 17th July 2012 at 01:50 PM.
Obzocky, Thank you for posting. I am going to counseling and it is intense. I have had people bring up scripture and when they do I read the scripture but also look at the context of it. Your advice is exactly what I am doing and I appreciate your input.
FtcdatSAPoD, thank you for posting as well. I am soo sorry that happened to you. I didnt have anything like that happen to me though. If anything I grew up alone. My dad was a cross country truck driver and my mom worked 2 jobs. My sister was 5 years older than me and we didnt do much together. I had a cousin next door to me and 2 more friends of his next door to him but didnt enjoy playing with them. I just didnt fit in. I spent most of my time alone with the TV or books.
I have prayed and prayed alot about this. I am trying to pray every way anybody suggests to make sure but the answer always seems to be I am following the right track. I havent mentioned this before but I could swear that God is starting to let the plan he has for me blossom in my head. I never mention that because it seemed presumptuous of me to say that. Since starting to deal with the community I see a major problem with how alot of them have been dealt with by some Christians and feel I need to try to lead the unsaved people to the Lord.
I will pray with you my friend....<3 I am like you in many ways although my struggle is over....i now wish to support others..PM any time..I have many transgender friends and i can find resources for you if you want.GOD BLESS <3 <3
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You are what you are born. At the moment you don't see it. You were born a boy...
While this may at first glance appear to be a logical determination, please consider that the world we live in is not the creation as God intended it, but the result of many generations of disease and mutations that were brought about by the curse of sin. I wouldn't suggest a transsexual is going against Gods intention, rather it is a reasonable possibility that a transsexual is trying to correct something that might instead be a result of this curse of sin. Consider the abundant variety of birth defects that naturally occur... surely these are not the creation as God intended it, and often an effort is made to correct birth defects.
I'm convinced that there could be an innate condition that can't be observed visually that causes gender dysphoria. Medical science has been diagnosing and treating gender dysphoria for several decades, evidencing that there is something upon which to base that diagnosis.
Another consideration would be cases of those born with both or indistinct genitallia that were surgically altered as infants to appear more "normal" as either male or female. This was common practice for such conditions in the past. The person would grow up having no idea they were surgically altered at birth, but what if the doctors chose wrong? There may well be some innate sense of gender that would conflict with their altered anatomy.
I don't think anyone has a right to make a judgement about a persons gender, other than the person him/herself.