Ever felt like...?

@turkle: That sort of stuff, strangely enough, used to happen even when I was much younger. I still haven't figured out what's up tho. It's something to do with me but I have no idea what else to do. By the grace of God I'll change but that grace has to be put to action and sometimes I've got no clue how to do it.

I don't want to go into denial but I haven't met anyone honest enough to tell me that I'm utterly boring and why do they feel like that. I don't wanna say "It's genetics." because the grace of God is infinitely more than able to change my gene code if it takes.

@xfreakzoidx: However, much of what Jesus told us to do can't be done if I fail to socialize. I can't figure out the solution. If anything this will cost me a lot in this life and perhaps cause me to loose the entire reward, now that I'm at it.

Originally Posted by strelok0017

...there's some sort of darkness in your life? Because everything seems to go wrong for me. Latest thing is that people from my small group started ignoring me.

I can't really put my finger on it but it has been like this my whole life. Everyone who ever became my friend left me soon after, with the exception of one person who isn't my friend anymore, for two years already.

What's wrong with me? I'm not going to say that God cursed me because the more I study the Bible the less arguments I have to support it and to be honest I fully believe that God has only been good to me all my life.

What's wrong tho? Nothing ever works. I just have to know because I'm not gonna have a good Christian life if this doesn't get fixed. It feels like a curse sometimes.

Everyone, to greater or lesser degree, faces this issue in their lives. Look at who you choose to befriend, the personalities and lifestyles. If they tend to be self-centered or somewhat arrogant, they only become friends with you for the purpose of getting from you what they want. Usually, that is positive strokes to their ego and a feeding off their friends for an aura of self-worth. If they tend to be non-Christian, perhaps it is the light of Christ shining through you that causes them to shy away.

Looking at how you treat people (no offense, as I know nothing about you) might help you understand why people leave you. Be wary of any clinginess, arrogance, braggadocio, gossiping, or any other negative attribute you suspect might be the cause and ask God to help you eliminate it from your life. Without knowing you better, obviously, this is all just wild conjecture and none of it may apply. Just be choosy about your friends, and be alert to your own personality traits, and see if things get better.

God bless, and I'll be praying for you.

Originally Posted by ezeric

]The entire Galatian Church was Christian! Paul didn't write to a bunch of pagans, it was not an evangelical outreach letter to the Galatians.

They were cursed, and many christians live in complete misunderstanding thinking "I'm blessed", when their lives are not. This has nothing to do with GOD not loving you, nor your salvation - but the quality of life you have.

Paul did not tell the Galatians they were cursed. He told them that if they were still under the Law, they would be cursed because no one can keep the Law perfectly. But he assured them they were not under the Law, but under grace.

Originally Posted by ezeric

We are blessed with all of Abraham's blessings, but can 'cut ourselves off from CHRIST' just like they did. Galatians 5:4

Nor did he tell the Galatian church they had cut themselves off from Christ. Galatians 5:4, when addressed to a Christian, means that person has become powerless, because he is trusting in the wrong thing. His powerlessness is thwarted and he is again restored to being blessed with the power of the Holy Spirit when he repents of his self-will and turns his will over once again to Christ through the Holy Spirit.

Now, enough of this. We are derailing the thread. If you want to continue this discussion (and mind you, I don't, because I've said all that needs to be said on the subject) please fell free to PM me.

Well socializing doesn't mean having friends entierly. If you join a service organaztion to help others then you are socializing and helping people. I myself am a shy person and don't really socialize that much because of it. I've gotten better about it though. But mainly I just help people whether its online or off. So I may not have alot of friends, but I am still doing Gods work.

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Pearls before swine!
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@IisJustMe: No offense taken, don't worry. If you had the worst things to say to me, in the case you knew me, most of them would probably be correct and I have learned in my experience that includes my walk with God, I am too stubborn sometimes. It took God to create such a turmoil of my soul that I couldn't but repent of my past besetting sin or perish. By the grace of God that sin is past. How can I fix myself? I don't want to act what I'm not and to give people a wrong impression. There are some things that I've always wanted out of my life but I can't help it. I pray daily that the Lord gives me repentance but sometimes they just burst out. I don't want to and never will justify myself by saying "People do the same thing anyway.". But I'm not sure if others notice because nobody has ever been honest enough to me so I can say what's wrong and if possible, by the grace of God, fix it. I know that whatever is the problem has known to lead me to huge mistakes. For example, I'd start feeling as if someone in the Church, for whatever reason, wants me out of the Church only to find out later: that was a lie, maybe even of the devil. It's just crazy but something's off with me and I wanna fix it. I can't look to myself because, again, God had to teach me that hard way not to do it. That's why I'm fully counting on His grace to change me.

@xfreakzoidx: By socializing I mean getting to know people, having good friendships and such. I know I shouldn't be jealous after the world but I just see others having a good time, friends, planning their life and my soul can't not to start aching a bit. It's not painful, not that sort of ache, but the sort of as if something's missing in me. I think I know what but I know that it's gonna basically take a miracle to reshape me further. Maybe this is something I should not focus on, I'm not sure, so please if you gotta, yell, do CAPS LOCK if you wanna, but is it idolatry to wanna have friendships? Even serve God in them to His glory? I used to have one really good friend and we used to talk a lot but that's over with. I was told by others to find someone to talk to at my Church but I'm not sure I wanna burden others (Is that pride?). Not because they don't want to but because what I gotta say there has been no solution so far.

Don't get me wrong, I ain't depressed or something like that even tho sometimes, randomly I can be but that's relatively rare in this season of my life. I just want to fix things that my sinful lifestyle before I got born again by God undid. That's all. Two days ago I had the craziest idea ever. I was about to pray when my mind started wondering... If not for my past my life would have been different. I recognized that the wish I had was definitely of the devil because it not only distracted me from prayer but also it, well, awakened some sort of jealousy. I wanna kill it if it's a sin. So, yeah, stuff is messed up. How am I gonna serve Jesus fully like this, that's really beyond me.

At time like these when it seems that people see right through you
as though you aren't there, go to your Father in Heaven.

Draw close to Him and ask Him to be your source of blessing and joy.

Many times in the Bible God has separated those that He has called
to a closer and deeper relationship to Himself so that they will
know Hinm in a deeper way so that they will rely on Him and not others or themselves.

Trust me, you are shallow in your understanding and surrender to
God in Christ and He is calling you deeper and so you have a choice to make.

You can try to pull away from God and stay in the status quo or
go to God in prayer and ask Him to take you deeper and to take
your life in the direction He wants you to go instead of you
doing life your way and saying that you follow Christ.

If you choose to pull away you will be miserable.

If you go God's way it won't be easy either because when
God calls us deeper we have to go through a process of dying to
ourselves so that we can live for God in Christ.

The religion of today says that God is all about us and what we want
but the truth is that God has not changed and that His desire is that we would
surrender our lives to Him fully and completely to Him in Christ just as He
has surrendered Himself to us fully and completely in the person of Jesus Christ.

It may be difficult to go God's way but the rewards of a deeper relationship
with Him far outweight any short term downside.

The suffering we go through in dying to self and living for
God in Christ is only made diffucult by our own stubbornness
and our pulling away from God's call on our life.

I do not know why God has called you and I do not know the
purpose He has for you but I do know that God is calling
you to a deeper relationship that at times will be off the beaten path
and so only God can lead and guide you so go to Him
and let Him bring you to the place He has for you and your life.

__________________
2 Cor 5:21
For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

@Pal Handy: Thanks for the encouragement, but I am saved. This is one thing I'm still working on by the grace of God. It's going to take a while, I reckon, but I really believe that God is chaning me slowly. He has been very patient with me.

First sorry about the Cap lock thing. I keep forgetting it means your yelling lol. I use it to emphasis a word.

Well anything you do in life can become an idol. Watching to much tv, focusing to much on friends, even trying to make your body look perfect (well more applies to a woman). It doens't mean we avoid these things (well unless they are sinful such as going to a strip club). Instead we have to learn to balance things. My basic view is whatever I do shouldn't interfer with my christian acitvity. Example, I was a video game addict. I would skip church so I could play games. I would skip devotions and reading my bible so I can play more games.

When it gets to the point of you stop doing your normal christian activities, then it becomes a idol, or at least thats how I feel. This is why some people avoid marriage because they think your turning your spouse into an idol even though you are not.

As for the rest of what you said. I was VERY messed up after my brain injnury. I was messed up so much that I have no idea how I did not go to prision. >.< But just because we can be "messed up" doens't mean we can't be fixed. I went from that deep dark sinful hole I was in to who I am now, someones whos diffrent and loves God with every ounce of myself.

It doesn't mean I am perfect, not will I ever be. Just as you won't either. Its why life is always a struggle as a christian. Exmaine your life and figure out what things may be holding you back or may be sins that maybe you hadn't thought about before. Once you clean up your life and start to do more with God, you feel changed. You become better over all!

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Pearls before swine!
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@xfreakzoidx: Don't worry about caps lock, I actually wanted people to use it if they feel like yelling. It's not bad or sinful, but the problem is that I'm a slow learner sometimes.

I was very messed up also. In strange ways, for sure, but sort of messed up and unfortunately part of what I used to be is still here. I sometimes feel as if I'm stuck with who I am but I will never be content with that. I want to be a better person but I want it to be a fruit of a relationship with Jesus. We all should, I believe, be changed, but not through trying to be changed but rather being changed in our walk with God, which always results in sanctification. It's gonna take some massive work of grace to change me, but God can do it.

I guess you were in a worse situation. God can do all sorts of things and in fact I believe that everything God does is miracle in itself, when it comes to changing our soul and loosing the ties that make us a slave of our former self.

I am not talking about salvation but a relationship
that goes deeper than what most are willing to allow....

__________________
2 Cor 5:21
For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

@Pal Handy: I apologize, I was too quick to judge there. I want a relationship with God but He isn't the problem, I am. I'm having a hard time forming relationships with people. It's extremely difficult for me and for reasons unknown to me. I believe that we grow in relationship with God by grace which is where, at least now, I see as much difficulty as ease.

On the other hand, what did you mean by "what most are willing to allow"?

If I've got any pride or self righteousness left in me, I really want it exposed ASAP.