Ocd?

kodadog1024 · #21 18th June 2012, 07:29 PM

I am beginning to think that any response to Raven is NOT helping her. It's only feeding the OCD monster. She definitely needs a new strategy, have her meds re-checked and most of all, give herself a break from these forums and pastor Bob. Raven, what you are doing right now isn't working, and I think we can all agree on that. You need a good "christian" support group, have your meds re-checked and find some type of Christian OCD counselor. I know at my peak (worst time) I almost got to the point where I was running in circles that my Christian counselor said to me that he was going to stop seeing me because I kept doing the same song and dance over and over, every week. I needed to switch gears, try something new. Raven, you need to switch gears. This isn't working for you.

You keep getting in the same ruts. There is an awesome sermon from my church about one of the pastors wives who dealt with anxiety/death/ probably OCD and what she had to do. As SOON as it goes lives (within a day) I am going to post it and I want you to watch it. It's actually right up all our alley's. Take care Raven.

raven1 · #22 18th June 2012, 08:07 PM

I don't want a Christian counselor Kodadog that's not good. I just got on new meds.

hollyda · #23 18th June 2012, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by kodadog1024

I am beginning to think that any response to Raven is NOT helping her. It's only feeding the OCD monster. She definitely needs a new strategy, have her meds re-checked and most of all, give herself a break from these forums and pastor Bob. Raven, what you are doing right now isn't working, and I think we can all agree on that.

Agreed.

This isn't working for her. And as hard as it is watching someone struggle when I know from experience what works, feeding into the ruminating cycle isn't doing her any good.

So I'm out.

kodadog1024 · #24 18th June 2012, 09:12 PM

My wife after 10+ years watched me crumble and after 4 months my therapist said "this is HIS broken leg". You can't fix it". You can be there for him but HE needs to fix him. Not my wife. There is only so much we can do. It's not like we are throwing Raven to the wolves, but there comes a time I think, IMO, where we are doing more harm than good. Raven, if you love you Christ and want to be with Him, then do it. You don't need me, Pastor Bob or anyone else telling you HOW to love Him. YOU need to do this, ... on your own now. You got a TON of resources, links and honest Christian opinions. Now you have to take the next step. What's it going to be? I wish you the best.

gracealone · #25 18th June 2012, 11:43 PM

So true Kodadog and ditto's to what Hollyda said also. We have to take that leap and sometimes just as Bunyan said... "We must leap off that ladder even blindfolded into eternity." Knowing what to do and having the courage to do it are two different things. I've been praying for God to give Raven courage and that even though each step of managing her OCD may bring pain to her it's only in the walking that her legs of faith will once again grow strong.
I join you in praying for Raven. I think she knows we truly care, you, me, Hollyda and so many, many other folk who have offered up their best counsel. Now the ball is indeed in her court.
God bless you for your compassion and empathy.
Mitzi

Originally Posted by kodadog1024

My wife after 10+ years watched me crumble and after 4 months my therapist said "this is HIS broken leg". You can't fix it". You can be there for him but HE needs to fix him. Not my wife. There is only so much we can do. It's not like we are throwing Raven to the wolves, but there comes a time I think, IMO, where we are doing more harm than good. Raven, if you love you Christ and want to be with Him, then do it. You don't need me, Pastor Bob or anyone else telling you HOW to love Him. YOU need to do this, ... on your own now. You got a TON of resources, links and honest Christian opinions. Now you have to take the next step. What's it going to be? I wish you the best.

raven1 · #26 19th June 2012, 06:57 AM

Great in a month I have lost two forums and a therapist.

gracealone · #27 19th June 2012, 08:13 AM

You haven't lost us sweetie, we just don't want to contribute to your suffering. The questions you ask on here are your compulsions - the answers that you get are the reassurances.. the temporary "fix" that your OCD is demanding. Right now the obsession is... "how can I really know this is OCD and not me really wanting to be an agnostic?" It's kind of like you're asking us to help you check to make sure your faith is still locked. When we do that we give the thoughts weight and that makes them seem even more valid to your brain and even more worthy of attention. You need an expert therapist who will teach you how to do the exact opposite of what you've been doing. Someone who can inspire you to not just allow the thoughts but to actually let them do their worse to you without you responding by reassurance seeking. But you'll have to cooperate with the therapy or they can't help you. You need courage, grit and perseverance. God can and will provide those things but you really, really need to mean it when you say you're going to do the therapy.
No one here wishes for your suffering to continue.
I love you.
Mitzi

Originally Posted by raven1

Great in a month I have lost two forums and a therapist.

hollyda · #28 19th June 2012, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by gracealone

You haven't lost us sweetie, we just don't want to contribute to your suffering. The questions you ask on here are your compulsions - the answers that you get are the reassurances.. the temporary "fix" that your OCD is demanding. Right now the obsession is... "how can I really know this is OCD and not me really wanting to be an agnostic?" It's kind of like you're asking us to help you check to make sure your faith is still locked. When we do that we give the thoughts weight and that makes them seem even more valid to your brain and even more worthy of attention. You need an expert therapist who will teach you how to do the exact opposite of what you've been doing. Someone who can inspire you to not just allow the thoughts but to actually let them do their worse to you without you responding by reassurance seeking. But you'll have to cooperate with the therapy or they can't help you. You need courage, grit and perseverance. God can and will provide those things but you really, really need to mean it when you say you're going to do the therapy.
No one here wishes for your suffering to continue.
I love you.
Mitzi

Exactly. We're enabling the obsession-fear-response cycle, and it's not helping you, Raven. So because we care, we have to step back.

kodadog1024 · #29 19th June 2012, 09:50 AM

Raven, this is for you. CedarCreek.TV

I've never met you OR seen you for that matter, BUT, during this sermon, I thought of you and how much this spoke to all of us. Listen to Week 4, FIGHT your Fears (Ben Synder). Go!

We're not kicking you to the curb. It's kind of like a parent letting their child ride their bike for the first time without training wheels. You know, letting go... They are still there, observing and ready to be there. Go watch that video now.

mmutsakama · #30 19th June 2012, 02:35 PM

never expect quick fixes when dealing with be willing to persevere