Even happily married people...

JRSut1000 · #1 16th June 2012, 10:34 AM

...can experience loneliness.

I'm throwing myself a mini-party today...a mini pity party that is... I found out a few times recently that friends of ours have been getting together, but we've not been invited. It makes me feel really sad and a bit lonely. I know the saying is 'to have friends, be a friend' but thats just the thing - we ARE friendly. We invite people over our home multiple times and they seem to enjoy it but rarely do we get called to hang out with the same people. I'm just really sad and it seems no matter how we try to show we love people, if our theology is different it seems that DH and I just arent included.

My husband is okay without much social interaction, but I feel lonely for both of us. He seems content working on his Bible projects and that's okay. But I feel like Im missing something. Our very best friend and his wife are over 500 miles away. We thought, at least I thought, that our friends from small group really liked us and wanted to hang out. But it seems much of the time, WE are making the effort.

I get tired watching Disney Jr all day, of getting out just to get 1-2 groceries because I need something to do, of just going out with hubby and toddler to nature trails. I want to be among people but not just in the midst of them, but WANTED BY them. They are certainly wanted by me and my husband, people are always welcome in our home, even if it's last minute plans.

Grace51 · #2 16th June 2012, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by JRSut1000

...can experience loneliness. I'm throwing myself a mini-party today...a mini pity party that is... I found out a few times recently that friends of ours have been getting together, but we've not been invited. It makes me feel really sad and a bit lonely. I know the saying is 'to have friends, be a friend' but thats just the thing - we ARE friendly. We invite people over our home multiple times and they seem to enjoy it but rarely do we get called to hang out with the same people. I'm just really sad and it seems no matter how we try to show we love people, if our theology is different it seems that DH and I just arent included.

My husband is okay without much social interaction, but I feel lonely for both of us. He seems content working on his Bible projects and that's okay. But I feel like Im missing something. Our very best friend and his wife are over 500 miles away. We thought, at least I thought, that our friends from small group really liked us and wanted to hang out. But it seems much of the time, WE are making the effort.

I get tired watching Disney Jr all day, of getting out just to get 1-2 groceries because I need something to do, of just going out with hubby and toddler to nature trails. I want to be among people but not just in the midst of them, but WANTED BY them. They are certainly wanted by me and my husband, people are always welcome in our home, even if it's last minute plans.

i am sorry to hear this. when you say small group, are they from church?

JRSut1000 · #3 16th June 2012, 11:07 AM

We just go to a small group during the week.

Grace51 · #4 16th June 2012, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by JRSut1000

We just go to a small group during the week.

so they are part of a church? if that is case, i dont what to say...

but as for "want friend be a friend" principle. i think in some ways, it kind of ties to the " what one sow, one shall reap" principle.

when you have the ability to be a true friend, sometimes you'd surprised who God bring into your lives, because He know you are ready for His blessings....

JRSut1000 · #5 16th June 2012, 11:17 AM

I did address that, we do make ourselves friendly and open up our home for food fun and fellowship and prayer n such. And people seem interested...but when will THEY make steps to invite us into their lives?

Grace51 · #6 16th June 2012, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by JRSut1000

I did address that, we do make ourselves friendly and open up our home for food fun and fellowship and prayer n such. And people seem interested...but when will THEY make steps to invite us into their lives?

yes, i didnt mean that you are not being a friend right now. but it seem you want friendships from a group people that seem to , well, not want the same thing you do.

you can certainly keep trying.

but what i am trying to say is God may open other doors for you, and it may not necessarily be those exact same people you want to be friends with.

JRSut1000 · #7 16th June 2012, 11:29 AM

Oh gotcha, thanks for clarifying.

Yeah, we just dont know right now. I just get so tired of hearing from many people 'yeah, we'll have to set something up' but it doesnt happen.

favoritetoyisjoy · #8 16th June 2012, 11:32 AM

JR...you could just out with it to the group or folks involved, the way you present yourself here on the forum I doubt it could do anything but help. Cheering you on!

Romanseight2005 · #9 16th June 2012, 11:38 AM

Jr, could it be because you have a baby? Do you think that these people think you can really only relax in your own home? When my son was little, it was quite taxing to take him places, unless that place was baby proof, and baby interesting.

JRSut1000 · #10 16th June 2012, 11:45 AM

Our friends have kids too and Im fine going over their houses or out to a park or to eat or wherever. THEY seem to have no problems being socialites, they do it all. Why arent we included or welcomed also?

This has been a really hard time lately, Im so burnt out with life. My toddler watches Disney Jr all day (I get so sick of the same songs/episodes), I'm pregnant and hormonal, I'm having such a difficult time getting DD to eat, she's dropped to beneath the 3rd percentile, my husband and I cant seem to agree on how to do things with her right now, I get out of the house and go the store because I just cant stand being at home and want to be among people, and Im fed-up right now. It would be nice to have some 'get away' adult grown up time with or without children is fine with me, just why cant people want us in their lives? My family is nice, I'm thankful for them but we cant talk about anything especially religion or money.