I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I try to support people who are my "friends" but they often don't bother writing back. I feel like I'm invisible. When I send them a thoughtful message, I get NOTHING back. Am I really so boring, worthless, inadequate and evil, like the abusers said?
Maybe I should never have been born.
I'm not talking about anyone here.
I don't deserve any replies
If no one replies then the abusers must have been right about me.
like I don't belong anywhere. I feel like I'm invisible.
I'm not talking about anyone here.
Sorry you're feeling bad at this moment. it's called abuse because abnormal folks
are living out their harmful past as triggers.
Dysfunctional people exist on destructive beliefs, thoughts, acts, & vent... them, meaning it's not about you.
1. Start by NEVER believing what such a one spouts.
2. NEVER take blame, like many on CF want you to.
3. Unless you're in a more Constructive-resourceful state than they, just walk away...
4. If you are doing good yourself, you can Validate feelings & show empathy.
5. if honestly you intentionally did wrong, simply offer a heartfelt "I'm sorry", & ask how you can make it right.
Since you said "not talking about anyone here",
just so you know: God/Jesus & any human worth your time
thinks of you as a Saved-christian, able, capable and interesting... and any of at least 400 good/positive &
constructive qualities you can also think of. - So just Allow yourself now to FOCUS on
these wonderful abilities... God from HIS LOVE created *you* with
this picture you posted, really echoes my response: so true
Remember sister You are loved...
Last edited by sk8Joyful; 7th June 2012 at 11:24 PM.
it's often been said that hurting people hurt people..
i know that there are people out there who do abuse others. sometimes that's the behaviour that they were taught, and so they continue it on to the next generation of innocent people.
abuse is never the right choice, but in this world it does happen.
Sometimes it's the result of fear, sometimes it's the result of anger, but it's always triggered by a source outside of the situation. It's a choice that people make to abuse others when they are under pressure and have a need to vent.
the one good thing about this situation is that you never have to believe what they say to you, because it's never about you. no matter what they say, they're actually talking about someone else or another situation.
so don't feel that any abuse you suffer is your fault. it isn't.
the next time you are in such a situation, try directing 'you' statements back to them to stop their actions and their train of thought, and do it in a quiet voice.
try saying things like, ' i'm sorry you feel that way, would you like to talk about it?' or ' I can see that you're frustrated, how can i help you?'
what you're trying to do in that situation is to divert their thoughts back to the cause of their anger---which isn't you!
people who are abusers need to find an acceptable way to vent. by getting them to talk about how they are feeling and what caused that feeling you can help them to vent in a way that won't hurt you, and will help them.
Sometimes people just need to hear an appology, and the need is so great that it really doesn't matter who it comes from. what does matter is that their feelings are validated and they are listened to. So there are times when just hearing someone say "I'm sorry that happened to you" is enough to calm them down so they can stop the chain of abuse.
does that help?
__________________ Psalms 89:14
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Hi again Kitty,
Sometimes new christians mistakenly think
they don't know, what other christians know; but
here's the Truth:
God/Jesus said our soul, mind & body are HIS 'temple':
meaning HE dwells in us when we ALLOW ourselves to FOCUS on Saved, Uplifting Positively
Encouraging Courageous & Successful thoughts... and
Jesus made this soo easy for us to remember. In fact
a really FUN-thing is to go on a TREASURE hunt,
searching for & finding related 100+ Scriptures speaking to the green/GO!! above
Here's just a few to wet your whistle you will also LOVE:
4. 1 John4:18
5. John 15:14 "You are My friends, if you do
what I command you" -> "LOVE God, & as I have loved you LOVE others. <-the lynchpin to Christ's Gospel.
And when we are so engaged, we are Free to enjoy a Love-affair with life , plus build-UP others too.
6. Philippians4:8-9 - in this God Bless *you*
In our self-interested age many people have no idea about treating others with dignity and respect. That makes it really hard for people trying to stay afloat.
But Jesus does not see you as some misfit or loser. He values you highly.
Depressed people see life through a big black hole in their worst times. It's hard seeing through that, especially all alone. But that does not make you a freak, or a failure or whatever else to think you are. You are an image bearer of God by design. And God has not given up on His original design.