| One Bread, One Body - Catholic A forum open to Christians to discuss various Catholic beliefs and issues. |
 | | 
4th June 2012, 12:35 AM
|  | Christian Democrat
    
| | Join Date: 27th February 2011
Posts: 1,584
Blessings: 10,028,170
Reps: 103,263,385,451,066,416 (power: 103,263,385,451,070) | | Originally Posted by WarriorAngel  How is 'needing' time together a modern notion?
I didn't say needing time together was a modern notion. But if someone is gonna create a list of all these "to do's" or else, then you are going into marriage on a failed model. Because the modern marriage model is the idea that if a spouse doesn't always make you happy and do everything you want, that they can be replaced with a new spouse. So people end up creating these unrealistic lists. Most guys reading princess ballets list would be like "screw that" and wouldn't wanna deal with all that drama in that long list. |
4th June 2012, 12:44 AM
|  | lover of moral theology
 
 | | Join Date: 28th January 2005
Posts: 11,198
Blessings: 58,360,268 My Mood 
Reps: 530,544,020,691,652,608 (power: 530,544,020,691,672) | | Originally Posted by StThomasMore I didn't say needing time together was a modern notion. But if someone is gonna create a list of all these "to do's" or else, then you are going into marriage on a failed model. Because the modern marriage model is the idea that if a spouse doesn't always make you happy and do everything you want, that they can be replaced with a new spouse. So people end up creating these unrealistic lists. Most guys reading princess ballets list would be like "screw that" and wouldn't wanna deal with all that drama in that long list.
Uh, PB's list sounds completely reasonable.
Maybe you mean my list? My list was all personality characteristics that are all very reasonable and desirable in a man, minus the children thing. (I realise that makes things difficult, but I am physically sterile and not eligible for adoption since I have a mental illness, so I can't change that.)
What is selfish or spoiled about wanting a man who is honest and willing to communicate? A man who is gentle, kind, and compassionate? Should I be looking for a reckless man who doesn't respect me enough to share things with me and who treats me like I don't matter?
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
4th June 2012, 02:41 AM
|  | Just keep goin !
 
| | Join Date: 16th May 2012 Location: India
Posts: 5,135
Blessings: 4,189,394 My Mood 
Reps: 684,462,888,899,308,544 (power: 684,462,888,899,315) | | Some jobs are really tough on the mind like the one I had ! And I can understand what StThomasMore is saying !
I was the in-charge for warranty (the guy who decides to approve or not a warranty claim) in an automobile servicing firm and have to report for work at 8:00 am and lcould only leave at 6:00 pm ! Sometimes, the workload is such that I have to work on sundays and other holidays too. And after work, I would be too tired to do any kind of 'meaningful' stuff. But, I toughed it up as the time went by and was more comfortable with it. I was planning to join my friends at an amateur football club to 'unwind' after the work 
But after some time, I resigned my job when I felt my employers are taking advantage of my 'yes' attitude !
It was a rash decision and I'm out of job now 
So...from my 'limited' experience, I can say that many jobs are very tiring but, if you are up for it, you can make some time for you partner or do other fun stuff !
Let me borrow my best friend's line "man should work to live, not live to work" !
I'm not trying to offend you StThomasMore, its just my opinion !
May be I would change mine after my marriage, life is tough (sometimes)  About the 'requirements':
I used to have this long list of 'requirements' and now I don't have much because I know God selects the best option for me and I trust him. I'm sort of in the neutral gear 
The biggest 'requirement' I have now is that she should give me company when I'm ill. I have this idea of letting the body fight the deceases not medicines, so I avoid taking medicines as far as possible (especially the anti-biotics). Its a conscious decision of mine
The problem is that, though the occurrences of stuff like flu, cold etc is very low but, when it gets me, it could be a bit severe. So, I would need company ! 
And yeah, I love to cuddle  
__________________
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come. |
4th June 2012, 09:09 AM
|  | Senior Veteran
26  
| | Join Date: 8th July 2003 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,652
Blessings: 6,287,879 My Mood 
Reps: 238,136,892,119,045,088 (power: 238,136,892,119,060) | | Originally Posted by Lady Bug why do marriage/singles threads always end up depressing with judgmental snarky attitudes?
Because some people are generally unhappy with their lot and want to bring everyone else down to their level? Just a guess. |
4th June 2012, 09:42 AM
|  | Most effective posting, 3 years running
| | Join Date: 4th February 2004 Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 16,382
Blessings: 59,084
Reps: 469,229,950,676,229,760 (power: 469,229,950,676,255) | | | It is not impossible to have a job that invigorates one's spirit and leave them even more ready to enjoy time with their family and other pursuits.
I am one of those guys who loves his job. It took a little while to get there, but I looked at a list of what I was naturally good at, I looked at a list of what I enjoyed doing, and I noted the intersection. From there, I set to making myself the best in the world at doing that thing. I'm 35, I have a pretty good job for a great employer, I never work more than 40 hours in a week, my name is internationally known (albeit in a small, highly specialized circle), I am respected and trusted to make decisions that have broad effects. I pretty much show up when I please and leave when I please.
Men, in my opinion, need to do some homework before they even think of taking a bride. If you have no career prospects that don't involve excessive hours or backbreaking labor that leaves you exhausted, what are your wives and kids getting?
I have 5 young children. It isn't always easy, and managing calendars is a challenge, but it's never really exhausting for me. My kids are well adjusted and well-mannered, they recieve excelent marks and they have widely varried interests. I coach, I volunteer at school, I even drive the minivan once in a while. When I'm feeling worn out, I remind myself that if I told a man from just 100 years ago how "hard" my life was, he would laugh in my face.
__________________ Got fuel to burn, got roads to drive. |
4th June 2012, 09:46 AM
| | Senior Veteran
26
| | Join Date: 8th July 2003 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,652
Blessings: 6,287,879 My Mood
Reps: 238,136,892,119,045,088 (power: 238,136,892,119,060) | | Originally Posted by MikeK It is not impossible to have a job that invigorates one's spirit and leave them even more ready to enjoy time with their family and other pursuits.
I am one of those guys who loves his job. It took a little while to get there, but I looked at a list of what I was naturally good at, I looked at a list of what I enjoyed doing, and I noted the intersection. From there, I set to making myself the best in the world at doing that thing. I'm 35, I have a pretty good job for a great employer, I never work more than 40 hours in a week, my name is internationally known (albeit in a small, highly specialized circle), I am respected and trusted to make decisions that have broad effects. I pretty much show up when I please and leave when I please.
Men, in my opinion, need to do some homework before they even think of taking a bride. If you have no career prospects that don't involve excessive hours or backbreaking labor that leaves you exhausted, what are your wives and kids getting?
I have 5 young children. It isn't always easy, and managing calendars is a challenge, but it's never really exhausting for me. My kids are well adjusted and well-mannered, they recieve excelent marks and they have widely varried interests. I coach, I volunteer at school, I even drive the minivan once in a while. When I'm feeling worn out, I remind myself that if I told a man from just 100 years ago how "hard" my life was, he would laugh in my face.  |
4th June 2012, 10:05 AM
|  | I close my eyes and see you smile
| | Join Date: 11th April 2005
Posts: 55,499
Blessings: 86,665,395 My Mood 
Reps: 2,098,942,934,473,862,656 (power: 2,098,942,934,473,926) | | Originally Posted by StThomasMore I didn't say needing time together was a modern notion. But if someone is gonna create a list of all these "to do's" or else, then you are going into marriage on a failed model. Because the modern marriage model is the idea that if a spouse doesn't always make you happy and do everything you want, that they can be replaced with a new spouse. So people end up creating these unrealistic lists. Most guys reading princess ballets list would be like "screw that" and wouldn't wanna deal with all that drama in that long list.
Simply not true.
You dont marry someone because they are willing. You marry someone you love and to love them you ought to be somewhat compatible with them - its not just about avoiding pre marital sex - which is a good thing to do BTW - avoid it.
But you cant marry just anyone - or you end up in an abusive situation if they are mean - you end up miserable and loathing life - if you are not suited for one another.
What i deem important to me is differnt than my friends would deem important.
BUT all women want a true gentleman and a genuinely loving man who doesnt control us.
You wouldnt marry a screaming mimi would you? You wouldnt marry a woman who was a heavy drinker or lazy and didnt clean or would neglect children....would you?
Ahhhhh - you also had standards...right?
Let's not pretend we dont make lists of what we feel is important to make a relationship work for us...k.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Matthew Chapter 7 7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
Urgent
Pray for your departed loved ones ~ even if you do not believe in purgatory - what harm can come from praying for them?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
But I say, walk by the Spirit and you shall not fulfil the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
of the flesh. For the flesh
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
against the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other: that you may not do the things that you would. |
4th June 2012, 10:11 AM
| | I close my eyes and see you smile
| | Join Date: 11th April 2005
Posts: 55,499
Blessings: 86,665,395 My Mood
Reps: 2,098,942,934,473,862,656 (power: 2,098,942,934,473,926) | | Most guys reading princess ballets list would be like "screw that" and wouldn't wanna deal with all that drama in that long list.
Obviously if 2 ppl have chemistry - real love asks there will be compromise in some things - marriage is based on compromise - not control.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Matthew Chapter 7 7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
Urgent
Pray for your departed loved ones ~ even if you do not believe in purgatory - what harm can come from praying for them?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
But I say, walk by the Spirit and you shall not fulfil the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
of the flesh. For the flesh
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
against the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other: that you may not do the things that you would. |
4th June 2012, 10:18 AM
| | I close my eyes and see you smile
| | Join Date: 11th April 2005
Posts: 55,499
Blessings: 86,665,395 My Mood
Reps: 2,098,942,934,473,862,656 (power: 2,098,942,934,473,926) | | Originally Posted by MikeK I have 5 young children. It isn't always easy, and managing calendars is a challenge...
You reminded me ...
I quote a friend of mine - she told her husband [she was a stay at home mom] - my job doesnt end at 5 - and when you are home - neither does yours.
They have an excellent marriage. I think in all the 26 years of marriage - they fought like 3 times. He compromises, he helps, he respects her, he shows he loves her, she is his BFF and he never raised his voice to her, never hurt her. He does what he needs to - to help her out.
Being a stay at home mom is a very under-appreciated job. But he helped her as was his daddy duty.
Awesome guy - the sort all women have on their wish lists.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Matthew Chapter 7 7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
Urgent
Pray for your departed loved ones ~ even if you do not believe in purgatory - what harm can come from praying for them?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
But I say, walk by the Spirit and you shall not fulfil the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
of the flesh. For the flesh
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
against the
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other: that you may not do the things that you would. |
4th June 2012, 10:21 AM
| | Senior Veteran
26
| | Join Date: 8th July 2003 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,652
Blessings: 6,287,879 My Mood
Reps: 238,136,892,119,045,088 (power: 238,136,892,119,060) | | Originally Posted by WarriorAngel Obviously if 2 ppl have chemistry - real love asks there will be compromise in some things - marriage is based on compromise - not control.
No, apparently hanging out with your wife is a bunch of "drama" and guys don't want to deal with that.  | | |
| Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode |
| | |
