Struggles with SexualityA new forum open to ALL members who are struggling with sexuality issues (including homosexuality). All posts will be reviewed before being made public. NOTE: Only Christians are allowed to reply and offer support here.
one of my best friends since childhood has considered herself to be bisexual for a couple of years now,and she isn't a christian...I feel like this one issue is keeping her from God and I don't know if it's possible for me to help her? she's like my sister and I love her dearly,and I just really don't know how to react to help her.i don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings,but at the same time I don't know how to tell her that i don't agree with her without hurting her. she knows I don't approve,but she has literally asked me point blank,"are you saying that God won't love me if I'm bi?" and "how can you be my friend and love me(as a sister) and not accept me?" and I'm just really heartsick about it. so far I've felt like the only thing I can do to help is just pray for her...does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? is it wrong for me to be one of her best friends? I just really don't know what to do...I want to be in her life to witness to her,but at the same time I don't want her to think I agree with her lifestyle,even though I love her as a sister and would be heartbroken to lose her as a friend. help?? thank you so much.
i wanted to add too,that I have told her God loves everyone,including gay people.I hate that there is this idea that He doesn't love someone who is gay because that is NOT true. I believe God loves everyone,what he doesn't like is sin,not the person. but I just,it's so hard to talk to her without hurting her feelings even though I mean well and I'm so upset about it because I do really care about her. idk,it's just a mess.
Last edited by SavedByGraceAndLove65; 4th June 2012 at 02:22 AM.
Well, I too have a bisexual friend. When she first told me I freaked out. I couldn't understand it and it took me a long time to be able figure out how I must respond to her to have our friendship continue. I tried to tell her what the Bible said, but even though she herself was a Christian, she had accepted the lies of people who said that those parts of the Bible were out dated. The only thing I could really do was continue to be her friend and to still be there for her. As a christian, we are called to show the love of God to everyone, as you mentioned. Another way I look at it is, I have a friend who does drugs, I know its wrong and will hurt him in the future but he sees no problem with it. It's a reasonable stand for me to have since there are people on both sides of it. there are also people on both sides of the sexuality debate so your friend hopefully will be able to acknowledge that you have a different opinion and that should be okay in a friendship. The problem with this particular subject is that you want your friend to know where you stand, but you don't want them to feel that you don't except them. This is where me and my bisexual friend had to draw the line. She knows I don't agree with her, but all friends have things they disagree on. I won't agree that what she is doing is right, and when I am with her I do my very best to steer her away from things that may lead her into that type of sin or lust, but I don't give her a lecture about it. We are to show God's love though how we act. Maybe one day, your friend will see how you are christian, don't agree with her sexuality, but are still willing to stick around her. I suggest this because this is how I have been with my bisexual friend and recently she started commenting on how "maybe not all Christians are bad" and asking about my church....I don't know how you are viewing her struggle but one thing I would like to add is that it truly is a difficult struggle just like every other sin. And I myself have recently started struggling with thoughts in that area. I believe my struggles are born out of bad relationships and just wanting to feel loved, but this struggle isn't something I just decided to have. Struggling with sexuality is a real thing and whether or not your friend acknowledges this as a struggle, there will always be times when a sin will eat away at someone, and that is when you as her best friend can step in and show some of the freedom and grace that God gives you as a Christian. I really hope I helped>.<
We don't choose our sexuality but we can choose not to act on it. Does God love her of course but he doesn't want her to sin. See often times people say God made me this way but some people are born with urges to kill and end up being psychopaths does it mean they should embrace it. No
Be there for your friend. Letting her know you don't support her view is sufficient for now. There's no need to argue. Keep praying for her. And one day, when she wants to repent, she'll be able to talk about it with you and you can guide her through. Just be careful that while you are helping her, you are not pulled away by her ways. Stay very close to God yourself, as the battle is fierce and Satan is very tricky.
I know how you feel. I have my best friend I wanted to help so badly, but she wouldn't talk to me anymore. All I can do now is pray for her and wait patiently on the Lord.