There are times when people don't know what to ask, or even that they can ask, and this is very common to folks who are depressed. I think for a large part that for people who come on this forum, the question is implied even if it's not voiced. The Bible says there is safety in a multitude of counselors. I think when we have truth, compassion and positive ideas delivered with love, which yours always are, sharing is a good thing. It's between you and God how much or when to share, but please don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Okay? Many of us love to read the wisdom you share.
Hope that helps,
a
Ditto that.
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Rev 19:9-10 And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God. And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.
I can honestly say that the advice of others has helped me enormously. When I first came to CF I was in real real bad shape. I couldn't see clearly. Depression clouds the mind and sends confusion. The advice of others not only encouraged me and gave me hope, but they illuminated things that I could not see before. But from that point on it was up to me to meditate so that I grasped the fuller meaning.
I think God sends helpers - those with experience and understanding so that we pass the torch on to others. Once my major battles were over, I remained here so that I could give what others gave me - passing the torch of light and hope to others. Some folks take the advice, and others discard them. Some hold on tightly, and others let go. You can tell them things until your blue in the face but ultimately they may still see what they want to see. Once the torch of advice is in a person's hands, it becomes their responsibility to make the changes or act upon that advice.
I kind of see advice as little sign posts or stepping stones in a person's difficult journey. The destination and the understanding that comes from that journey can only be done by the sufferer regardless of how much advice or guidance one receives.
So I can understand what you are trying to say, Loved. I think there is a way to have both. God bless.
__________________ "Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass;
God never changes. Patience attains All that it strives for.
He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices."
- St. Teresa of Avila
St. Dymphna, our hero in depression and mental health, send us a prayer ...
I thought I had, not been pushy as such - just - not listening to you sharing - just listening.
If you didn't feel it, maybe it was just me.
I can't remember the post exactly now, but I went back and erased it and left you an apology later - for not listening to YOU , and thinking I had an 'answer' for you.
If you've never felt it - then that's good .
I think for myself - I really want to listen properly, not just to what people say, but to simply be present enough to hear another person's reality - and to consider their reality - before I start 'having ideas ' or 'jumping in'.
Nothing wrong with ideas etc ...but I want to love God, myself and others better. I do see that offering advice where it is not asked for - can bring about a 'parent / child' dynamic , 'or 'carer/patient' and of course ...we are all equal.
The dynamics in relating are important I think.
I'm wanting to learn and change Tom.
I am interested in what you just shared , about feeling you don't make decisions and that you tend to wait for others.
I love to know - have you always related in that way to people or did it start at a certain point?
I have been 'polite' and doen so many many times , and not made a decision on what to do etc - thinking it would be more polite to do so.
I'm beginning to see though that where politeness is needed and pleasant - it can also become a prison, where one never gets to choose or express one's own preference .
Christian circles have a lot of 'politeness' in. I'm not sure Jesus was polite.
I've been to Isreal and they are not polite there - there doesn't seem to be a concept of polite there .
Oh the people are lovely , but they don't queue up, they barge in with their elbows and get what they need - don't say sorry.....it's not deliberately disrespectful -it's a different culture .
I spoke to jewish man there and asked him whay people were so pushy.
He said to me 'ahhh....you have seen what we call - chuztpah'!!
I didn't like it when I first got there...and after two weeks , I loved it - it was liberating.
No worries, loved33. You've never offended me with anything, and I hope that I didn't offend you with the word "pushy." I didn't mean it to be insulting.
I have always been the way that I am my whole life. I have never had much of a will of my own to choose to do things for myself. I was always told what to do as a child by abusive parents and family members and teachers at school. The abuse at the hands of so many people traumatized me and broke my will completely. My emotions were shattered and I never recovered. I have wounds from 35+ years ago that never healed. I am so broken inside, and function so poorly in the world, that I can imagine myself ending up on the street homeless someday.
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No worries, loved33. You've never offended me with anything, and I hope that I didn't offend you with the word "pushy." I didn't mean it to be insulting.
I have always been the way that I am my whole life. I have never had much of a will of my own to choose to do things for myself. I was always told what to do as a child by abusive parents and family members and teachers at school. The abuse at the hands of so many people traumatized me and broke my will completely. My emotions were shattered and I never recovered. I have wounds from 35+ years ago that never healed. I am so broken inside, and function so poorly in the world, that I can imagine myself ending up on the street homeless someday.
Can I ask Tom, have you had any help with all of this ?
Healing prayer or counselling ever ? If so was it any help ?
Can I ask Tom, have you had any help with all of this ?
Healing prayer or counselling ever ? If so was it any help ?
It sounds so very painful
I've been in therapy with secular therapists for over 20 years now with mixed results. I've started working with a new therapist about a year ago. I think she is very capable and she is really nice, so I am hopeful that she can help me. I am opening up to her more and sharing deeper, more painful things with her as time goes on.
I haven't darkened the doorway of a church in ten or more years. I don't like the church scene. I listen to sermons which I download from the internet, but I guess that isn't enough. I guess God wants me to have personal interaction with other Christians.
Thank you for your care and concern,
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confess your faults one to another that ye may be healed for the fervent effective prayer of a righteous man availeth much
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I've been in therapy with secular therapists for over 20 years now with mixed results. I've started working with a new therapist about a year ago. I think she is very capable and she is really nice, so I am hopeful that she can help me. I am opening up to her more and sharing deeper, more painful things with her as time goes on.
I haven't darkened the doorway of a church in ten or more years. I don't like the church scene. I listen to sermons which I download from the internet, but I guess that isn't enough. I guess God wants me to have personal interaction with other Christians.
Thank you for your care and concern,
I don't now the details of your healing needs Tom , but over the years I have found some excellent teachers and resources on inner healing.
Elijah House Ministries are based in US and have many years of working with the 'hidden wounds of the heart'.
Also Shiloh Place base most of their ministry on healing parental wounds and coming to know God as Father - organically.
Books on healing by John and Paula Sandford also tend to be very good, in my opinion.
There are many more but these have such revelation.
The haRd thing about going to a church - one find's sometimes that people aren't always understanding God 's need to heal us emotionally.
You can get churches that are all about 'doing' and feelings are almost treated as the enemy of the 'work'.
But there are some churches that have heard God's heart to heal - and heal this sort of damage.
But God is a God of love - He is not a workaholic slavedriver ,Who ignores the hearts of His kids to get what He wants !
He is a loving Father Who wants to repair in the most tiny and delicate detail - and build us up.
Glad to hear you are getting more out of meeting and sharing with this new therapist .
It sounds like you are getting more out of therapy right now.
Hello dear sister, I must say I often wonder the same thing. I too struggle with codependent patterns.
Anyhow, I will say I have never felt this way about you or any of your posts. They usually are just what I need when I need it most. Very thoughtful and not trying to just fix or change me. I can understand why you would ask us though but in all honesty, I have cherished your input here so much.
You are very genuine and a big help.
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"Our danger is to water down God’s word to suit ourselves.
God never fits His word to suit me; He fits me to suit His word." Not Knowing Whither, 901 R
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