| Autism & Aspergers A new support forum for autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and caregivers. |
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13th May 2012, 12:16 AM
|  | Newbie
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| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
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Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | Asperger Jokes
An old man was having a movie made from his autobigraphy. He hired a casting firm to find well known actors to portray him at the various stages in his life. They went all around Hollywood talking up his book and movie script and came back saying "Great news! We got Keanu Reaves to portray you in your younger years, Michael Palin in your middle years, and Woody Allen in your old age." The man became enraged and fired them on the spot. Stunned, the agent asked why. "You people have been going around town casting Aspergians on my character!"
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Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein |
13th May 2012, 12:19 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | Aspie. Isn't that just a little snake?
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein |
13th May 2012, 01:28 AM
|  | One Day at a Time
29   
 | | Join Date: 22nd June 2011
Posts: 381
Blessings: 986,851 My Mood 
Reps: 41,102,747,329,570,832 (power: 41,102,747,329,572) | | There are 2500-3000 types of snakes in the world. The Class is reptiles. There are families of snakes: Columbridae, Boidae, Elipidae, Viperidae, Hydrophiidae. There are green snakes, brown snakes.....  |
13th May 2012, 01:33 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | Answered like a true Aspie!
BTW, these first 3 are my own jokes. And don't let me be the only poster, please.
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein
Last edited by jackmt; 13th May 2012 at 02:07 AM.
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13th May 2012, 01:39 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | There are 3 main subtypes of Asperger's Syndrome. The first, typified by the rude man who just doesn't know when to shut up, is known as Pain-in-the-Asperger's Syndrome. The 2nd, characterized by the one who couldn't care less about how you're doing but only wants the facts, is known as Joe Friday Syndrome. The 3rd, characterized by the guy who'd rather chase girls than debate the relative merits of string theory, is known as Aspervert's Syndrome.
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein
Last edited by jackmt; 28th April 2013 at 04:10 PM.
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15th May 2012, 12:20 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | Somebody else out there must have a sense of humor about their Aspieness.
Q. How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. What does weight have to do with it?
A2. Aspies don't like change.
A3. You don't change a lightbulb, you replace it.
A3a. You do if you paint it. (Can't you just see Sheldon giving this answer?)
There are many answers. What's yours?
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein
Last edited by jackmt; 31st May 2012 at 08:18 AM.
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16th May 2012, 01:16 PM
| | Mature veteran
61    
| | Join Date: 13th September 2006 Location: MA
Posts: 7,758
Blessings: 4,088,140
Reps: 163,887,415,536,727,104 (power: 163,887,415,536,741) | | | Jack ... I like .. I don't think I've every heard a Aspie joke before. I've certianly not created any. |
20th May 2012, 02:19 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | Originally Posted by dayhiker  Jack ... I like .. I don't think I've every heard a Aspie joke before. I've certianly not created any.
No time like the present.
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein |
20th May 2012, 02:23 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | Originally Posted by LovedSparrow There are 2500-3000 types of snakes in the world. The Class is reptiles. There are families of snakes: Columbridae, Boidae, Elipidae, Viperidae, Hydrophiidae. There are green snakes, brown snakes.....
A similar anwer is warranted in the "How many Aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?" department, and I think you are the one to provide it. I await your response with bated breath.
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein |
25th May 2012, 05:59 AM
| | Newbie
58
| | Join Date: 10th December 2011 Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 884
Blessings: 10,067,324
Reps: 55,919,903,063,783,016 (power: 55,919,903,063,785) | | | If an Aspie started to pontificate on the relative merits of String Theory while in the woods in early spring, how quickly would the trees leave?
__________________
Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. Jer. 17:5
He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein | | |
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