I never thought I would have came to is kind of website thinking my wife would never cheat on me. My wife and i have been married since 2001 and have a 2 year old and a 6 year old little girls. I found out 2 days ago while I was at work that my wife cheated on me at the end of 2009. I found videos of her in her trash email that she made of herself and sent them to a co worker that lived in Atlanta. We live in Florida. I asked her if she knew this guy and she said she did but never meet her. I asked her about the videos but I never said that I found them on her email. She assumed I talked to him on Facebook. She said that she never met him but the more I asked, she finally admited that she had sex with him one night when I was at work. I work 24 hour shifts. She told me that she stopped it before they finished because she felt so horrible. She said that it only hopped once and it happened in our bed. She kept on saying that it happened 2 1/2 years ago and that she wanted to move on. She said that she does not talk to him at all and I actually believe her. She did this 3 months after we had our second daughter. I love my wife and even though this happened over 2 years ago, to me this happened just know. I told her I wanted the bedroom furniture out of the house and I would not sleep in the bed until it was gone. She agreed on everything I wanted out of her and said that she wanted to keep the marriage. Her father cheated on her mom and left her when my wife was just 4 years old. My wife said she wanted attention that I assume I was not giving her. The guy she slept with was overweight and not a very attractive person. She thought that I talked to him and that he told me all this. I finally told her that it I never talked to him and that I found the videos. She was very embarrassed and could not look at me when I was yelling at her. We made up (sort of) and I told her that I would never bring it up again because I do not want to keep it over her head. I believe that that would hurt our recovery even more. Is it to early to stop talking about it? Am I being to stricted about having the bed removed? Any comments or questions wold b greatly appreciated it. I told her I would forgive her but i am very afraid it is going to be harder that I think.
Praying for you. I am not a marriage counselor or anything, but I surely don't blame you for wanting a new bed! the thought of what happened there is enough without having to look at that bed every night. It is hard to forgive anyone who has hurt us so deeply. We might have to keep on forgiving... like we think we have forgiven but then an awful thought comes so once again we say "I forgive", we also need to ask the Lord to help us forgive as you most likely are doing already. I know the Lord is pleased with you for wanting to make your marriage work. God bless.
__________________ God is good all the time.
"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21
I never thought I would have came to is kind of website thinking my wife would never cheat on me. My wife and i have been married since 2001 and have a 2 year old and a 6 year old little girls. I found out 2 days ago while I was at work that my wife cheated on me at the end of 2009. I found videos of her in her trash email that she made of herself and sent them to a co worker that lived in Atlanta. We live in Florida. I asked her if she knew this guy and she said she did but never meet her. I asked her about the videos but I never said that I found them on her email. She assumed I talked to him on Facebook. She said that she never met him but the more I asked, she finally admited that she had sex with him one night when I was at work. I work 24 hour shifts. She told me that she stopped it before they finished because she felt so horrible. She said that it only hopped once and it happened in our bed. She kept on saying that it happened 2 1/2 years ago and that she wanted to move on. She said that she does not talk to him at all and I actually believe her. She did this 3 months after we had our second daughter. I love my wife and even though this happened over 2 years ago, to me this happened just know. I told her I wanted the bedroom furniture out of the house and I would not sleep in the bed until it was gone. She agreed on everything I wanted out of her and said that she wanted to keep the marriage. Her father cheated on her mom and left her when my wife was just 4 years old. My wife said she wanted attention that I assume I was not giving her. The guy she slept with was overweight and not a very attractive person. She thought that I talked to him and that he told me all this. I finally told her that it I never talked to him and that I found the videos. She was very embarrassed and could not look at me when I was yelling at her. We made up (sort of) and I told her that I would never bring it up again because I do not want to keep it over her head. I believe that that would hurt our recovery even more. Is it to early to stop talking about it? Am I being to stricted about having the bed removed? Any comments or questions wold b greatly appreciated it. I told her I would forgive her but i am very afraid it is going to be harder that I think.
I had an unfaithful spouse and it really hurt. The fact that you still love your wife is a plus. It is not going to be easy, but ask yourself if you were the one who was unfaithful you would want her to forgive you.
When we lose trust in someone, it makes it difficult to trust again.. BUT not impossible. You have two girls and they will need your guidance and direction as they grow up.
Let your wife know that you have forgiven her. If you are not Christians yet, make God the centre of your lives. Find a good Christian church where you all can go.
We are all vulnerable, and can fail, but through God's grace and help we can move on. I do pray and hope that all works well for your family.
Time and guarding your attitude will be important. She has carried guilt for some time. You have the situation to work through. Both of you must discover what Jesus is saying to each of you as He walks through this time with you both. He can bring healing and new riches as you heed his leading.
I'm really sorry to read about that, and don't have a lot of wisdom to offer. But I do think that the bed must be removed. To me, that would be an absolutely essential part of making a new start and leaving what happened behind.
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