Marry a Christian???

citizenthom · #21 6th May 2012, 01:17 PM

None of that necessarily describes a devoted Christian of either gender. It looks like you're imposing negative secular stereotypes on people of your own faith--kind of like a Muslim saying "I don't want to marry some crazy terrorist girl." You can like trace that back to your own admission that you aren't involved in a church, and thus aren't involved with any ACTUAL fellow Christians.

ILWJ · #22 6th May 2012, 06:59 PM

"Strange Women" in the Bible apparently lure people away from God with their idols/pagan gods. Below I inserted a passage I located on yahoo answers (I know, very dignified lol)

In the Old Testament, it warns against strange women. Does that refer to women who are strange, personality wise, as in odd, or women who are foreign, with foreign cultures, etc., or women who are unfamiliar?

Strange women in the old testament example of these are women in the lives of King David and his son Solomon. II Samuel 5:13 And David too more concubines and wives from Jerusalem after he had come to Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. And because of these David life was made complicated because of his children from different tribes and cultures. His daughter Tamar was raped by his son from another wife. Tamar was revenged by her brother Absalom. Absalom killed his own brother from David's another woman. He sinned against God when he fall in love with Bathsheba, Uriah's wife. He plotted the killing of Uriah thus his first son with Bathsheba died. Solomon was his second son from Bathsheba. Absalom his elder son revolted against him and was killed by his army. Solomon became his successor at an early age. Solomon was obedient to God during his early reigns. His wisdom whom God has given him became a foolishness because of so many women in his life. I Kings 11:1-3 But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonittes Edomites Sidonians and Hittites-From the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, You shall not intermarry with them nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts afte their gods. Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. So that Solomon in his old age turned away from God of Israel and the God of David his father, His life furnishes a great warning. His repentance is questionable which until now has been debated by students of the Scripture.

Angelfrog · #23 6th May 2012, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by Itagaki

Or those who are not stupid enough to wait around for something that will never happen.

I held out for a Christian husband- and I rather resent the idea that my desire to do so is somehow 'stupid'.

I'm sure it wasn't meant badly - but it does come across that way. If I've reacted badly, I apologise- but please don't let your own cynicism make rather scathing comments that seem to sneer at the choices others have made because of their faith. Making the choice I did isn't because I've some sort of weakness or am blindly following 'rules'.
I made that choice because I'm too strong a Christian to ever settle for anything less than a fellow believer as my husband.

I also don't get why wanting a Christian spouse means one would simply marry another person just because they're a Christian? Just being a Christian doesn't make them the right person to marry. Why on earth would anyone think that nothing else would be a consideration?

I sure as heck wouldn't have married my hubby if the only attractive thing about him was being a Christian! I had a proposal from a Christian guy a couple of years beforehand and would have settled for him if that was all that mattered.

God wasn't going to tell me to get hitched to any guy who's a Christian. He gave me someone who gets my humour- who has the same tastes, who complements and contrasts in the right areas- and if I didn't fancy him.....well, I wouldn't have married someone I wouldn't be a happy bunny to hop into the ol' marital bed with, that's for sure!

I'd rather be alone than be married to the wrong guy. But the right guy had to be a Christian.

xfreakazoidx · #24 6th May 2012, 08:11 PM

I sure as heck wouldn't have married my hubby if the only attractive thing about him was being a Christian! I had a proposal from a Christian guy a couple of years beforehand and would have settled for him if that was all that mattered.

So true. While you want to marry a christian, you still need to have more to them that attracts you to them. I made the mistake of just "being" with christian women despite facts that we would not work together well.

God wasn't going to tell me to get hitched to any guy who's a Christian. He gave me someone who gets my humour- who has the same tastes, who complements and contrasts in the right areas- and if I didn't fancy him.....well, I wouldn't have married someone I wouldn't be a happy bunny to hop into the ol' marital bed with, that's for sure!

I'd rather be alone than be married to the wrong guy. But the right guy had to be a Christian.

Exactly to all of that! My fiance is everything I prayed for and dreamed of, theres even things about her that I didn't realize I loved, but God molded her for me, as I am molded for her.

When you meet the right one, you will know. Although often people confuse "the right one" feeling with crushes and/or desperation. With the first three girls I tried to be with I felt weird the first time we met, but I ignored the signs and tried working with them anyways. With my fiance.....I had no weird feelings, no trust issues, no anything that bugged me. She just feels.....right. And after fasting and lots of prayer I got some answers on her so I know for sure!

Jupiter Drops · #25 6th May 2012, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Itagaki

I've thought a lot about this and you hear all the time, "Don't be unequally yoked", blah blah blah... but there are a few things to keep in mind. That verse is NOT about marriage. If it was, Paul would've mentioned it in 1 Corinthians 7. But he didn't. Now, it's important to be equally yoked in every area of life, not just religion. The fact is, most people believe in God and many have been raised in "church" anyway.

What really helped me see that it doesn't matter if you marry a non-believer (provided YOU are committed to the Lord no matter what) was how Christians often talk about how heaven has no marriage. If that's true, then it doesn't matter. You can potentially even let your light shine, and bring them to Christ! What better?! The truth is, no one can tell you, "Don't date so and so" because it has no scriptural bearing.

Since marriage is just a temporary arrangement (mostly just for sex, the way many Christians describe it anyway), it has no bearing on the eternal, so provided you are grounded in Christ, it doesn't matter.

I've missed out on so many opportunities because of my refusal to be with "non-Christians" (as though they're a sub-class of people). How dumb. It's time I started living my life and enjoying it, rather than listening to false teaching! What's more is, these are the same people who preach lies like the "gift" of singleness or about how it's "wrong" to date someone at a church?! Really? It is? Well, you're not giving me many options here!

Given the light view of marriage that church has of it, I don't really think it really matters that much anymore. Want proof? Go into the "Unequally Yoked" forum on this site and read the topic about "Are you happy or not?" Most of the people there are content and truly love each other, despite their differences. Differences are good! They make us grow and help us become better people. I don't want a female that is a carbon copy of me. I appreciate differences, femininity and change. What's the sense in marrying someone whom I cannot stand but is religious or a "believer" (hypothetically, since no such person even exists) than marrying someone beautiful, kind, sweet and wonderful - yet isn't religious?

I'd rather be in a happy relationship with someone great who doesn't believe exactly as I do than be alone.

Hey Itagaki!

You point out some dangerous thoughts here.

Since marriage is just a temporary arrangement (mostly just for sex, the way many Christians describe it anyway), it has no bearing on the eternal, so provided you are grounded in Christ, it doesn't matter.

I don't know who described this to you, but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a life-time commitment. It shows that you can live with this person and love them just as the Lord loves you, and that you can both settle your differences because you are guided by the Lord's love and grace. It's a holy union. You really have to be careful with this.

I've missed out on so many opportunities because of my refusal to be with "non-Christians" (as though they're a sub-class of people). How dumb. It's time I started living my life and enjoying it, rather than listening to false teaching! What's more is, these are the same people who preach lies like the "gift" of singleness or about how it's "wrong" to date someone at a church?! Really? It is? Well, you're not giving me many options here!

You didn't miss out on anything. Your time is yours and their times is theirs.

It's better to be with someone who has strong faith in the Lord than not. It might be pretty tough. I've seen some people who married unbelievers and it became hard for them to live with each other because of their polar opposite views of the Lord.

Be a man who centers his life around Christ and don't be tempted by others and their marriage.

Bella Vita · #26 6th May 2012, 08:45 PM

Oh hunny you have it all wrong. I am married to a Christian and and I thank God for it every day. Because I watch other women around me who are married to none believers struggle to not divorce. It is so very important that a couple comes together on their faith and has God in their marriage. And this means they need to have God in their dating as well. Paul is 100% most definitely talking about marriage here it is one thing to be friends and hang out with none believers it is another thing entirely to marry one, become intimate, and have and raise children with one. God's way is the best way plain and simple and he is only trying to save us from ourselves and years of heartache. Not marrying a Christian when you are one is a sure fire way to ensure heartache and probably a divorce.

But hey you know more than God and scripture and all these married people telling you its a bad idea. You have the world by the balls so go for it learn on your own but I hate to have to tell you I told you so.

gideon123 · #27 6th May 2012, 10:54 PM

"Oh hunny you have it all wrong. I am married to a Christian and and I thank God for it every day"

+1

me too ... about my wife.
I seriously doubt that my own marriage would have gone for 24 years without God being a major player in things. probably we would have divorced much earlier.

gidoen123

Avniel · #28 6th May 2012, 11:04 PM

To add how can two people know if they were equally yoked when the marriages were decided by their parents. This is not logical eventually they will become similar and think the same sorta logic ideally.

Honestly though there are a few "real" Christians we live in a world where Christ is going to church every Sunday and singing in the choir is considered service. The reality is most of the conservative Christians lack spiritual depth

Bella Vita · #29 6th May 2012, 11:08 PM

Originally Posted by gideon123

"Oh hunny you have it all wrong. I am married to a Christian and and I thank God for it every day"

+1

me too ... about my wife.
I seriously doubt that my own marriage would have gone for 24 years without God being a major player in things. probably we would have divorced much earlier.

gidoen123

My post may come off as unsympathetic but I really don't get why this would ever be a question for a true and passionate Christian. I mean if you ever have a chance of growing your relationship alone, as a couple, being a part of your church, and raising your children to love the Lord you have to marry another Christian hands down. The fact that this is even being brought up shocks me I mean really? A really Christian would understand why God would ask this off them and they would want to honor marriage as it was given to us by the Lord.

If someone is questioning this they need to look seriously at their faith.

Lady Bug · #30 6th May 2012, 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by Bella Vita

My post may come off as unsympathetic but I really don't get why this would ever be a question for a true and passionate Christian. I mean if you ever have a chance of growing your relationship alone, as a couple, being a part of your church, and raising your children to love the Lord you have to marry another Christian hands down. The fact that this is even being brought up shocks me I mean really? A really Christian would understand why God would ask this off them and they would want to honor marriage as it was given to us by the Lord.

If someone is questioning this they need to look seriously at their faith.

I can't say I blame you for your sentiments. I try sometimes to think that "well maybe you'll be OK" if I don't marry a Christian but the moment I see things like bibles for couples or marriage prep sessions or kids bibles or activities you can do in church, or bible studies, etc. my heart sinks pretty bad. I know my life would languish if I had to go it alone. I worry that I'm getting older (32) and the chance of finding a believer like this most likely diminishes with time, so time is not on my side