Husband Abusing Me *T-EA*

Hello, It dawned on me recently that I've become completely isolated from friends and family, that I'm depressed, not eating, experiencing anxiety and anxiety attacks, and am constantly following my husband around feeling guilty and apologizing for the most ridiculous things. While trying to figure out what I was "doing wrong", I discovered that my husband is passive aggressive and is a compulsive liar and constantly punishes me. I suspect he is making efforts to take my entire life away from me, and that he may be physically isolating me by trying to keep me inside of the house. I also found out that I am suffering from codependency, which is an obsession with trying to extract love from men who cannot provide it. Apparently, codependency is an addiction, and since I've made steps to detach from my husbands mind control, I've been going into physical withdrawal. I am nauseous and anxious and freaking out. The only way to aleviate my misery would be to come crawling back to him, and back into the abuse cycle (that I am addicted to).

Please help me. My head is spinning, and my world is spinning out of control. I put a desperate note in the offering plate on church Sunday morning explaining the problem and that I am terrified of my husband, and no one contacted me. This just made me feel like I'm crazy or unimportant (which I understand conceptually is not the case).

I don't know what to do, and I'm finding it impossible to assess the severity of my situation. I keep swinging back and forth between looking up escape shelters, and trying to convince myself that I'm the one that's causing all of these problems and that I should stop "rocking the boat" before his family finds out and blames me for all kinds of things.

Please help me. Thanks

Hi Designer Mum - sorry to see that no-one has been able to respond to you yet.

Don't give up hope - you seem to have a good reasoning ability and you are able to look at your situation pretty well but your anxieties and worries are "winning" at the moment.

Are you able to look back at when it all started and the cause of the challenges you are experiencing now? Don't worry about diagnosing or looking for labels to put on yourself OK? Do you have anyone to go to all if you need to?

And most importantly - have you been able to go to God for help? Living with an angry spouse

I'm praying for you designer mom!

Hi designer mom, sorry it's taken me a month to find this post and reply.

Don't give up hope. I was in the same situation as you. Abused, isolated, suffering from anxiety and anxiety attacks and I ended up hardly leaving the house. When I finally saw the abuse I sought help, because I knew I could not leave on my own. With my sister's help I left almost 3 yrs ago.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this? Someone you can trust? The first thing you need to do, if you haven't already, is to find a shelter and find a way to get there.
I am here if you need to talk, either here in the forums, or privately.
Hugs

"Be bold and have faith beloved"... God bless beautiful child of God