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  #1  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:10 PM
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Forgive someone who isn't sorry? And Meaning of Forgiveness?

How do you forgive someone who doesn't believe they did anything wrong?

Also is forgiveness forgetting? Trusting? Excusing the wrong doing? Avoiding justice in the situation? Ignoring consequences?

How do I forgive someone who hurt me that isn't sorry, do I just pretend that it didn't happen? Try to forget about it?
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  #2  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by GravyTrain2012 View Post
How do you forgive someone who doesn't believe they did anything wrong?

Also is forgiveness forgetting? Trusting? Excusing the wrong doing? Avoiding justice in the situation? Ignoring consequences?

How do I forgive someone who hurt me that isn't sorry, do I just pretend that it didn't happen? Try to forget about it?
forgiving isn't equal to forgetting. Forgiving means your giving up the right to get even and letting go of the resentment and anger that comes with not forigiving.
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  #3  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:14 PM
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How did Jesus forgive the people who nailed him to the cross ... and then mocked him while he suffered in agony?

That was an incredible demonstration of forgiveness, wasn't it?
It goes far beyond what most of us could probably manage.

Forgiveness is important to US personally.
It is important to our hearts - to prevent us getting swept up with anger, revenge, or hatred. Forgiveness is what allows us to move beyond these very destructive emotions. I think we can only get there - with God's help!

Gideon123
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  #4  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by gideon123 View Post
How did Jesus forgive the people who nailed him to the cross ... and then mocked him while he suffered in agony?

That was an incredible demonstration of forgiveness, wasn't it?
It goes far beyond what most of us could probably manage.

Forgiveness is important to US personally.
It is important to our hearts - to prevent us getting swept up with anger, revenge, or hatred. Forgiveness is what allows us to move beyond these very destructive emotions. I think we can only get there - with God's help!

Gideon123
Well said Gideon, well said.
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  #5  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:46 PM
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At its core, forgiveness is not about the other person at all. We forgive when we let go of anger, bitterness, resentment, and especially hatred. But forgiveness does not grant a clean slate or endless second chances. It certainly doesn't guarantee trusting either. It all depends on the severity. Some minor things should be forgotten. The last thing a married couple needs is a photographic memory of all the times we came up short. But major wrongs should not be forgotten, and sometimes distance is the best next step after forgiveness.
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"A positive religious faith does not offer an illusion that we shall be exempt from pain and suffering... Rather it instills us with the inner equilibrium needed to face strains, burdens, and fears that inevitably come." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Almost every heresy that has afflicted the church through the years has arisen from believing about God things that are not true, or from overemphasizing certain true things so as to obscure other things equally true." -A.W. Tozer
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  #6  
Unread 15th April 2012, 08:52 PM
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I like to use the term preemtive forgivness as it does not require us to have a, "Will you forgive me?" From the offending party.

Forgiveness is a choice to be free of the offence.

My dad was pretty abusive and had no love to speak of, and for decades I really hated him and couldn't forgive him.

What the Spirit of God showed me was by me not being willing to forgive I was holding myself hostage to this as well as him.

True freedom in Christ cannot be attained while holding on to anger and unforgivness.

The enemy will lie to you and make it hard to forgive, but if you really want to call yourself a child of the Most High God you have to forgive.

Mat 6:12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
Mat 6:14 Because if you forgive people their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Mat 6:15 But if you do not forgive people their offenses, your Father will not forgive your offenses."
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Last edited by setfreeandforgivin; 15th April 2012 at 08:54 PM. Reason: had to add scripture
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  #7  
Unread 15th April 2012, 09:10 PM
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I would say there are two types of forgiveness. The preferable kind is forgiveness in the context of reconciliation. But that requires repentance. However even if someone doesn't repent, we still need to forgive, in order to avoid having it cause *us* a spiritual or psychological problem. But that kind of forgiveness doesn't involve forgetting the problem. We may still need to guard against danger from further actions by the offender. It's certainly possible that the second kind of forgiveness will eventually lead to repentance and real reconciliation, but that doesn't always happen.
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  #8  
Unread 15th April 2012, 09:24 PM
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This is essentially to agree the collective Body wisdom already expressed: Forgiveness will go as far as it can toward reconciliation, but no further. It will not force you to reconcile when there is no basis to do so. It basically is a letting go of the offense, and because it adapts appropriately to circumstances, it can be accomplished unilaterally when the perp does not repent, without reconciliation. It does not necessarily preclude seeking justice, especially when justice will be good for an unrepentant offender, and/or will protect others from being victimized. Trust is earned, not automatically deserved, and right relationships are built on trust.

I go into a little bit of scripture on this in this post.
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  #9  
Unread 16th April 2012, 12:17 AM
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My mom was raped and abused by her father all the time when she wa a child. She says she forgives him, but forgetting is harder to do. Although in her case she still sometimes spits venom when she talks about him. So I don't think shes really forgiven him.

Last edited by CounselorForChrist; 16th April 2012 at 02:19 AM.
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Unread 16th April 2012, 01:40 AM
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Forgiving someone does NOT mean you trust them, and Christ never says that. Forgiving someone means just that - forgiving. Saying "it's ok, I forgive you. It's ok." That does not mean you be stupid and trust them again. Have your guard up. Having your guard up does not mean you didn't forgive them.

Be forgiving, not stupid and gullible.
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‎"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Revelation 4:11

We were created for the pleasure of God. Jesus Christ is our creator, not just our Savior and King.

God is not in our box, we are in His box. We don't command God, God commands us.
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