Fallen Away from God - feeling hopeless

I have had such an awesome relationship with the Lord, especially the past 4 years or so. But over the past couple years i have slowly drifted from him due to various sin. This past year (as strange as it sounds) i have been attacke by the enemy. He sought to destroy my faith in the Lord by twisting my view of Gods goodness. I got to a point where i gave up in my heart on Christ. For a couple days i just really gave up on seeking him, and in my heart decided it wasnt worth it to seek him anymore. I attempted to repent of that. I am seeking the Lord again, but something has happened. I feel completely without the spirit now. Its as if im seeking the Lord all on my own effort, without his spirit doing it in me.

This is pretty horrible and terrifying. I know Jesus Christ is the son of God, but it's as if the spirit of God is no longer making that truth real to my heart and mind. It's like i cannot be renewed to a true state of repentance again (Hebrew 6).

If anyone has ever had a similar experience or has any advice, id love to hear it.

Also i'd appreciate prayer for God to open my eyes and ears to truly see and hear the power of the gospel. If it is even possible for me at this point...If my inclination is correct, then i probably fall into the Hebrews 6 category of "having fallen away and not being able to be renewed to repentance."

You already know the gospel and you are already saved, you do need to repent once again and be renewed in the faith, your salvation is already secure.

Jesus said:

"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." (John 10:28)

The Greek word for "no one" means absolutely nothing, nobody, no thing, not even yourself can break God's grip on your life. You are His and secure in His love, Jesus loves you and you are forgiven for your past sin and failure. Confess and move on.

As far as Hebrew 6 goes, this chapter has proved to discourage the heart of many true seekers, it is not the wording that does this, but the vast translations and assumptions of it's language.

One thing we know about God and salvation:

He saves all who are willing because HE has put the desire in us to begin with: "And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” (John 6:65)

In this context, that desire is a fruit of the Holy Spirit working in your life, it can be easily concluded that your will is to be saved and that this will is the working of God on your heart.

Feelings are not your guide, the Word of God is, your heart may fail, your flesh may fail, but God is faithful through it all, we can not be snatched out of His hands once He has a grip on us. Trust that His salvation is more secure than your sinful flesh, that His love for you overlooks time, sin and struggle...He sees the BIG picture (eternity) and you're in it.

__________________
"Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty, as well as the privilege
and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers."

- John Jay, first U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Don't go looking for some 'inner feeling'. Take Jesus at His word, that He has hared your prayers and is right there with and for you. Then begin to live with that confidence.

John
NZ

You say you believe, but that you don't feel it. Why do you think that there needs to be some kind of "feeling" to make your beliefs real? Is God real or not? Did Jesus die for your sins or not? Does someone's feelings on the matter affect the truth in any way?

I very much doubt you've fallen away from God. I've felt that way myself, and it took me a long time, filled with much torment, to come back, but because of what I learned, it doesn't have to be that way with you.

Hebrews 6 has been called "the devil's favorite scripture", because it is so easy for those who are already shaky to take it the wrong way. But it simply cannot mean the condemnation that many ascribe to it, because following that reasoning immediately brings the chapter into works salvation:

For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love you have demonstrated for his name, in having served and continuing to serve the saints. -Heb 6:10

Do you see how impossible that is at face value? This theologically impossible conclusion is a red flag signaling that the writer does not mean it the way you are taking it. Indeed, he instantly continues on to state his purpose:

But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of your hope until the end. -v11

He's writing an exhortation (13.22), not a condemnation. He's saying in effect, "please don't go there. I know you're under extreme persecution, but don't give up. Hold on and receive your reward. If you renounce Christ and return to Judaism, it will take an act of God to bring you back".

Please, read the entire book carefully, and strive to understand the full context of what he's saying. I've also written a blog article here that deals with the issue.

Yes, its definately not about feelings.

I think very simply..."i have eyes but dont see...ears but i dont hear...and a heart that cannot percieve."

I truly think my heart has become hardened so that im not able to recieve and experience the truth by the power of the spirit. I have a head knowledge of the truth, but the spirit is not actuating that truth to my heart. Does this make sense? I know it sounds like im trying to make this much more difficult than it is. But, i have experienced the spirit makink leading me to the truth for the past 5 years. And that is no longer happening. Its as if im coming to the truth entirely as an act of my own will, but there is no true "lfie" or spiritual understanding of the truth in me.

I dont know if this is a Hebrews 6 issue, and that this is a permanent state im in...or is it just a matter of the Lord opening my eyes and ears. If he i still willing to.

I hope this makes some sort of sense. Its bizzare to me, so im sure it sounds wacko to you all.

I appreciate all of your comments.

paul1149...

So what if the Jews did turn back to Judaism for a time and give up on Christ. What if they forsook faith in Christ for a time and truly did "fall away?"

If later on they decided they wanted to once again return to Christ would it be possible do you think?

Hello jhatfield, your relationship to Jesus and God requires work. "Love thy God with all thy heart, all thy soul, and all thy mind." This is not something that just sounds nice and poetic, but is one of Jesus principle teachings. God is Spirit and contact with Him through prayer, meditation, and study is required. Worship in the Christian church of your choice is recommended.

I am hearing from your post that you are feeling spiritually empty or experiencing a spiritual wasteland. Reaching the "mountaintop" is a lifetime process; not something we do when we have the time. Start devoting more time to God. I've been in the same shoes as you and it didn't feel good. You will know it when you are spiritually full. Blessings to you, brother.

JH,

I don't know that we can lay down a hard and fast rule. According to Hebrews 6, it's impossible to renew to repentance. But then, what is impossible for man is possible with God.

Look at it this way. Think of what kind of love it took to motivate Christ to go to the Cross for us. After all that, is He really going to abandon us so quickly? No. He fully knew all about human errors and failings before He went to the Cross, and indeed, before He created anything in the first place. Not to understand this is to set up a post-salvation neo-works paradigm, whereby once we are saved we are kept by our works. That indeed is a real insult to the Spirit of grace, of the kind that Heb 6 refers to.

I know from personal testimony, that when my heart fully condemned me, God was greater than my heart, and knew all. He held onto me when I knew I didn't deserve it. He was faithful when I wasn't.

You know what? Even in that He worked good out of evil. I experienced a love I could not imagine existed. It took that to teach me what I needed to learn about the deeper things of God. I'm not suggesting we should sin so grace can abound - sin carries a penalty. But when we do sin we have an advocate with the Father, Christ Jesus, who is heard because He is righteous. He will not let us go.

The root of both the initial sin AND not re-trusting Christ for salvation lies in not esteeming the precious Blood highly enough. If we had a correct understanding of what God did, not only would we be hesitant to sin, but if we were to fall we would understand that God is not going to readily let the power in that Blood go to waste by cutting us off.

It may be that the effects of whatever sin you committed have brought about a severe emotional turmoil. That is understandable. But don't allow it to confuse your theology or to sully your childlike trust in God. Even if you can't feel the comfort yet, exercise belief in it. Keep going back to the throne of grace for help in time of need (Hebrews again). Keep filling your leaking cistern, and praying for repairs. I can tell you this: if you persist, you will be victorious. When Hebrews tells us that patience preserves the soul, the verb there has a wide spectrum definition. It speaks not only of preservation, but also restoration. God is pure light, and He does not want you limping into the Kingdom spiritual bloodied and crippled (Heb 12). He is for you 100%. But it will avail you nothing unless you actively believe on it and pursue your restoration. How you believe determines how you receive.

(KJV)Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord : though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

God wants us to come back to the dialogue table. You are not beyond redemption.

There is a book I will recommend to you: "Backsliding" by Bishop Dag Heward-Mills. You can find it on Amazon.com or his page
Will check on your response. May the LORD restore you.