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Struggles with Sexuality A new forum open to ALL members who are struggling with sexuality issues (including homosexuality). All posts will be reviewed before being made public. NOTE: Only Christians are allowed to reply and offer support here.

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  #1  
Old 22nd March 2012, 11:13 PM
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I'm a pedophile

I am 17 and have known for quite some time that I am a pedophile. Let me start off by saying that I have never insulted a child and never will and I do not view any form of child porn. I am a Christian and through Christ I have learned to live with this. It's not an easy life to live but Through Christ all things are possible. I am open to any questions or advice you have, but my question to you is how do you think my parents will react? I have not told them yet but plan to soon, also anyone else that may find out.
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  #2  
Old 23rd March 2012, 02:49 PM
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I do not know your parents, but I imagine that they may be shocked - after that I do not know.

If your sexual orientation is just towards children at the moment, have you investigated any of the treatments and therapies that are around?

I think that while it may be controllable now, especially with your faith, it could still cause problems in the future so its worth doing your research.

I hear what you are saying about not insulting children - many paedophiles say that they do not want to 'harm' children but do not see that sexual interaction with a child is harmful to the child in itself.
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  #3  
Old 23rd March 2012, 03:10 PM
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I just wrote that 'I do not know' how your parents would respond. But I've been thinking about how pedophilia evokes a strong negative reaction in most people - and that would be my reaction if my son said something like that to me, but I would wonder if it was a phase - I was just reading that something like twenty percent of men fantasise about children - but only 2-5% of men act on it. Only you know how close you are to your parents.
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  #4  
Old 23rd March 2012, 11:31 PM
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Thanks for your input, I have looked into therapy and treatments, but not a lot of people are willing to help pedophiles so really no treatments exist, the one I was able to find involves shock therapy so, no. I have considered seeing a psychiatrist but right now know one else in my family knows and it would be difficult for me to get there without anyone noticing, but I may try it in the future. I'm not sure that this would really help though. Seems to me the only cure is control. This is not just a phase, It started when I hit puberty, and have felt the same way for 3 years.
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  #5  
Old 25th March 2012, 03:56 AM
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It is possible that you have not integrated your sexuality that well following puberty. You may be holding onto thought patterns that are reinforcing your 'beliefs' instead of taking steps to think more like a normal hormonal teenage guy?

John
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  #6  
Old 28th March 2012, 01:07 AM
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Your sexuality is still being formed. You are 17 and it seems to me that you shouldn't judge yourself until you are fully mature. Try to have romantic interaction with someone your age and see what happens. I know it may not be easy for you especially if you don't make a lot of headway with the opposite sex but put some time into it. There are a lot of 17 year old girls out there with low self-esteem who would love to be asked out.

Your future might depend on it.
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  #7  
Old 7th April 2012, 02:44 AM
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Hi!
So, it is quite obvious that I am a woman by my handle. 22, actually. I have to say that this is something I have struggled with as well... I think for me it is not understanding exactly what boundaries should be in place (even though there is NEVER any excuse for justifying the destruction of a child's innocence or personal sense of safety, especially as the more safety and trusting relationships they have, the more likely they are to become upstanding, moral and flat out loving person.) Let me say the reason I struggle with boundaries is because I didn't have people to help me formulate proper ones. I just wanted to share that I share your pain in this. I often feel very guilty and uncomfortable children. I am a sex addict (mentally and emotionally, I have not had sex in years) and I think this overflows into lots of areas of my life that would remain untainted by sexuality in a prefect world.
Sorry if I have rambled as it's pretty late and I am somewhat sleep deprived. I was hoping to offer some support
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  #8  
Old 7th April 2012, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by templar42 View Post
I am 17 and have known for quite some time that I am a pedophile. Let me start off by saying that I have never insulted a child and never will and I do not view any form of child porn. I am a Christian and through Christ I have learned to live with this. It's not an easy life to live but Through Christ all things are possible. I am open to any questions or advice you have, but my question to you is how do you think my parents will react? I have not told them yet but plan to soon, also anyone else that may find out.
I am in a similar situation to you in that I've also got decently strong paedophiliac feelings, and this is made worse by the fact I am female (so I'm supposed to be this nurturing, caring mother-type).

I would advise against telling ANYONE unless you really know that it's going to be safe for you to do so. As you rightly say, it may end negatively for you and for the people you tell. At best, they'll get angry. At worst you'll put yourself in physical danger and put yourself at risk of violence (including assaults) and other things such as losing your home (I"m assuming you're living with family?) or finding money and resources withdrawn.

Assuming you do tell someone, I'd emphasize the points you make above: you've never viewed child porn or hurt a child, and plan to keep it that way. I keep these points in mind all the time, and if it comes to the point where I go public then these two things will be emphasized as well.

Treatments are scarce too, and you might struggle to find anything unless there is a private practitioner who will take this type of thing on. Some charities might be able to help, but I can't talk for specific areas or countries. Even then they may be limited in the help they can offer.

It's sad that people with feelings as this have to hide away, as more open discussion of the subject would lead to more support and help, and with it help to PROTECT children.

I'm always here if you want to PM me.
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  #9  
Old 7th April 2012, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by templar42 View Post
Thanks for your input, I have looked into therapy and treatments, but not a lot of people are willing to help pedophiles so really no treatments exist, the one I was able to find involves shock therapy so, no. I have considered seeing a psychiatrist but right now know one else in my family knows and it would be difficult for me to get there without anyone noticing, but I may try it in the future. I'm not sure that this would really help though. Seems to me the only cure is control. This is not just a phase, It started when I hit puberty, and have felt the same way for 3 years.
I work at a mental health office with a number of doctors and therapists, and I can tell you there IS professional help out there if you want it. There is at least one MFT where I work who I know for a fact has worked with pedophiles.
If you're looking online, most therapists aren't going to explicitly advertise that they do therapy for pedophilia. But if you search for therapists with experience in sexual disorders, and/or who have worked with sex offenders, you're probably in the right ball park.

Praying for you...
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  #10  
Old 7th April 2012, 07:57 PM
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Have any of you with these feelings been molested as a child? These feelings sometimes enter at that time. I am the mother of 2 children molested at the age of 5 & 7 - totally ruined their lives. Seek help any place you can find it, there is no way you would want to live with the guilt of ruining another child's life.
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Last edited by Criada; 7th June 2012 at 04:09 PM.
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