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Long Term Relationships A forum for those in long-term relationships who are not engaged or married yet.

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  #1  
Unread 15th March 2012, 07:22 AM
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How long is too long to wait for an engagement :)

Simple question how long would you consider to be too long to wait for an engagement we are both mid twentys and dating for coming up 5 years
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  #2  
Unread 15th March 2012, 12:03 PM
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For myself, anything longer than a year was too long. We either knew we wanted to be together or not by then and there were no future goals that would have prompted us to wait any longer such as finishing education or getting a certain job, etc... We had similar beliefs, money habits, little to no debt and got to see each other in a wide variety of situations, moods, got to know each other's families, etc....and were talking about afuture with each other within a year. We got engaged about a year and a week or so from first dating and married 8 months later.
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  #3  
Unread 15th March 2012, 12:13 PM
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IMHO 5 years is way too long. Of course this forces you to take a look at your original approach to dating. If you are just dating to have a relationship, as most of the people in the country do, then it is no wonder you have dated for so long. But if you take a more biblical approach to it you would use dating as basically at filtering process to find the person you will be spending the rest of your life with. You should know rather quickly, unless the other party is willfully hiding something, whether or not they are the one. One way to quickly flesh this out is to attend pre-engagement counseling with a trusted pastor. A good counselor will have you take in-depth personality tests to find out how you see yourselfs and how you see each other to find out how well you know each other.

My wife and I dated for roughly 7 - 8 months before getting engaged, then were married exactly a year after we started dating. We started pre-engagement counseling only a couple months after we started dating. We were, however, friends for about 4 years prior to dating, so we already knew each other pretty well before we started.
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  #4  
Unread 15th March 2012, 06:56 PM
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We are both committed Christians not living together and not having sex just putting that out there too
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  #5  
Unread 15th March 2012, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Waffles007 View Post
We are both committed Christians not living together and not having sex just putting that out there too
Oh, so you're just best friends

That's too long to date someone at that age. Break up, go meet other people.
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  #6  
Unread 16th March 2012, 12:47 AM
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It's way time to pee or get off the pot.
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  #7  
Unread 16th March 2012, 12:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Waffles007 View Post
We are both committed Christians not living together and not having sex just putting that out there too
That is great. Truly. Though, if you are questioning whether or not you should be married then I suggest it is time for some pre-engagement counseling. If you guys are compatible and ready for marriage, great, if not then it may be time to move on.
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  #8  
Unread 16th March 2012, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Waffles007 View Post
We are both committed Christians not living together and not having sex just putting that out there too
So were we and my answer still stands. I think people know after being together about year; if it's taking "years" for you to know if you should be together in marriage or not then either you aren't together very much or you are never going to be ready.
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  #9  
Unread 17th March 2012, 03:17 AM
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I'd have to agree. If you want to get married, not just be a very long term girlfriend, and that's important to you, then I think 5 years is kinda stretching it unless there are some obscure circumstances that don't allow you to get married or you started dating at a young age. I think it's always important to discuss intentions when you get into a relationship to make sure you both are on the same page.

Do you know why he hasn't proposed? Have you talked about it with him?
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  #10  
Unread 18th March 2012, 07:50 AM
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we have def talked Bout it he is just not ready though is starting to feel more ready and is talking more about it this year more than last year say
He also gave me Promise ring about a year and a half ago as reassurance that we would get married

He has finished a degree got a fulltime job and moved outta home since we have been dating ao he's had a lot of changes and I admire him for wanting to be financially stable And independent before getting married

Is it a matter of me being impatient ? As he is different than last year towards it and talks more about it seems more excited
Maybe it is nerves ?
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