He's wonderful, i hold him responsible for things that are not his fault.
My BF is wonderful. He puts my needs above his, he listens to my frustrations, he let me sob relentlessly in his arms when my horse died, he takes care of every need I have, he helps me do anything I ask him to do. He appreciates everything I do for him. He's a godly man, rich in faith and constant in prayer.
I have a history. I'm divorced from an unfaithful husband, and recently broke up with a border line emotionally abusive BF.
So here I am in this wonderful relationship with this wonderful man and I'm waiting for "the other shoe to drop". How do I get rid of this mentality and just focus on the pure joy I feel when I'm with him?
__________________ 1Corr 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Romans12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
"Shoe to drop" as in fearing some disappointment will come OR that he's such a wonderful man but something's missing?
Love is weird. My former wife said that when she was in college this guy fell in love with her. Every morning he brought coffee/tea to her room but she developed nothing for him. Love is "soul-to-soul" and doesn't always work to a formula; parameters are great though. You've been hurt in your past. It's natural to seek security in formulas --"If I go this way, which is unlike I did before, I'll be assured it will turn out better. Sometimes it becomes a pendulum swing which doesn't work out either. I've lived this all out.
I hope something I said helped a little. Good luck!
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Im waiting for him to do the things my ex's did. I have no reason to think he will, none at all.
__________________ 1Corr 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Romans12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You seem to be making the judgment that all guys are like those that have hurt you in the past. Maybe you can try to change your judgment so its just on these guys that actually hurt you. Thus excluding this current guy.
You've lost faith in yourself to pick correctly. Trust takes time.
I agree with this also.
Give yourself some time to learn to trust him. It took a while for me to trust my boyfriend because of past experiences. He was always very patient with me, never asking me to give more than what I was comfortable giving, and always being there.
Negative thoughts still spring up, but there's been so many positive experiences of him supporting me and being there for me that the negative thoughts become silly.
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“True individualists are always at odds with the universe. Set adrift by their peculiar tastes and interests, they spend their lives searching for kindred spirits and a compatible mate. They are hopelessly out of step with the business world and its trivial urgencies. Their priorities are not the priorities of their neighbors. They are unique; therefore they are alone.” – Rick Bayan, Down With Nat
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You seem to be making the judgment that all guys are like those that have hurt you in the past.
This is deep. As humans, we learn from our experiences - we touch a hot Iron, we get burned, we 'learn' not to do it again. When we've been burned one too many times, we can come to expect that that's the way things are. These type of wounds, and changing ones outlook can take a long time, and that doesn't mean it'll go away completely. Scars may remain, but we learn to get past it (sorry, very metaphor-ish).
In your situation, try and think the opposite when those thoughts come. Try to air on the side of faith that your BF will do right by you. It'll be uncomfortable as you'll be putting yourself in the position of vulnerability that you are fearing, but over time, you may find (when your BF hopefully lives up to these expectations as he sounds he will) that it becomes easier to not associate him with the mistakes of past relationships. I would also add that prayer is needed
Prayer is definitely needed... .but I don't have the words. I feel very confused.
__________________ 1Corr 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Romans12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
) that it becomes easier to not associate him with the mistakes of past relationships. I would also add that prayer is needed
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