Advice about using a talent to encourage someone?

Hi,

I need some advice. There is an older teenage girl in my congregation who is getting bullied at school and is shaken up by it (the issue is being worked on I believe, I think someone is going to her school to help resolve the issue.) I know how it feels to be bullied because I have been there. There have been many teens who have committed suicide in response to bullying. Bullying is something that is something I feel particularly passionate about standing up against because it is so cruel and does so much damage to a person.

Anyway, I was thinking about how to use my talents to help this person. I do photography and makeup artistry and thought about taking modeling photos of this girl and giving her a questionnaire to help her discover her inner talents and abilities. This is an idea I have been excited about all week. I was thinking about getting some other Christians involved and treating her like a guest of honor for one day.

Here is the issue. I am feeling convicted about performing makeup artistry on her and people in general because it is a form of falsehood. If I perform makeup artistry on someone and photograph them it is like trying to convince someone of a falsehood that the made up person is who they are when it's not. I look back at photos I have taken of women where I did their makeup and photographed them and they still looked like themselves, just with makeup on. It did not change the way they looked really even though they did look pretty and I could see they had makeup on, they still looked like the same person just enhanced. I am wondering if it is wrong to enhance the way God has made someone already. Is that really building someone's self esteem to say "here, let me make you look prettier according to my standards and now go accept yourself as the made up image you see?" I don't want anyone becoming a slave of makeup or lead into thinking that they are only pretty when they are made up. I feel really convicted about putting makeup on people. At the same time, I am really talented at it. Also, the photography, and the concept of making the person look beautiful in a photo... I mean, is that not encouraging vanity and conceit? The Bible says we should not conform to the pattern of the world. Also, isn't putting makeup on someone kind of a rejection of how God created them or allowed them to look? Is adorning people with makeup and taking photos of them doing things the way of the world but putting a Christian label on it?

I really wanted to use my talents to encourage this girl; but it is looking like I may not be able to. And it is looking that maybe I need to put these "talents" away and do something else, because they seem worldly, and I feel convicted about what I mentioned. I do not want to lead people in the wrong direction by drawing their attention to what is false, or causing them to value their self more under false pretenses (makeup and nice photos made by manipulating certain elements (lighting / reflector under the model's face to put a gleam in their eye, etc.) to produce a certain look. The photos are pretty but they are not totally real, and a person should not base their self esteem on them re-created under false pretenses as mentioned.

*I will also let you know, I have very severe OCD, and a lot of things I do I think are sinful from eating a bagel to various other things. Most of my Christian peers see nothing wrong with my photography and makeup and some have encouraged me in that direction. But I am wondering if that is because they are just steeped in American culture like most everyone is.

I think the day with the photos taken of the girl would be a fun event for her, and probably give her an emotional boost; but I do not want to lead her in the wrong direction (encouraging vanity from the photos of herself, worldliness, thinking she has to "look good" to be beautiful, or encourage her to get caught up in wearing makeup -as it is a form of falsehood, and many women do not feel comfortable without it so it has become like a trap for some.) It is true that God created beauty; but you don't see flowers putting on makeup.

What are your thoughts?

Peace,
use the Word of God to encourage instead of your talent.

Remind the girl being bullied to try and be kind and patient even though others aren't.
Spend time with her helping others, orphans, widows, old, sick, homeless anyone needing help. Maybe its a rainy day, go through scripture with her. Books like John, 1 Peter, 1 John, and especially Proverbs.

Do something positive, and fruitful.

Peace, mercy, and grace be to you through Christ.

God gave you wonderful talents/skills....use them to honor Him.

If you want-- you can ask the girl if she would like to have a free
make-up and photo session...if she agrees, then you
can apply the make-up and take photos.

What would make it wrong?--
It would be wrong for you to insist that she must wear make-up to be
pretty but YOU aren't doing that...you are offering to provide a "service"
for the girl if she is interested.

Wearing/applying make-up is no different than a woman putting on pretty
clothes, perfume or shoes etc.

For example...
Ruth's mother in-law in the Bible said to her:
“My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for. Now Boaz, with whose women you have worked, is a relative of ours. Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.
Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes.

Ruth was instructed to apply perfume and put on her best clothes--- hmm? This was done to "attract" the attention of Boaz.

The Bible focuses on the heart and our intentions...
If a woman is spending too much time and money on her appearance, the problem is that the woman’s priorities are wrong. Expensive jewelry and clothing are the results of the problem, not the problem itself.
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"It is true that God created beauty; but you don't see flowers putting on makeup."

God created water but not all of it is suitable for drinking...it has to be
"enhanced"...filtered for the removal of contaminants etc..

Some people have received damage to their faces by accidents --some people are born with discoloring on their faces..many of them use make-up
to cover up such scars & discoloring...to enhance their looks.

Not everyone has feet, legs, hands etc...would it be wrong for them
to have prosthetic limbs to use-- it would also "enhance" their over all look.

We are to love mercy, to act justly and to walk humbly with God.

You can use you make-up skills and photography I haven't found
any bad intentions or malice in your post.. the OCD is causing you
problems -- are you in treatment for it?

"Our" daughter in-law has OCD, she is also a minister's wife, mom
of 3 children, does book-keeping and she wears some make-up.
Not only that she is teaching her daughter how to apply make-up and
how to style her hair....however, she isn't insisting that make-up is
necessary or that she can't be pretty without it-- it is an aid, nothing more.

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We don't change the message, the message changes us.

Hi BFine,

Here are some responses to some of what you wrote.
You said:
"Ruth was instructed to apply perfume and put on her best clothes--- hmm? This was done to "attract" the attention of Boaz."

Yes, but two things: #1 perfume doesn't change someone's looks, & #2 we are required to wear clothing anyway in our society. I think this is somewhat different than putting artifice on your face that changes the way you look as a human being.

You said:
"Some people have received damage to their faces by accidents --some people are born with discoloring on their faces..many of them use make-up
to cover up such scars & discoloring...to enhance their looks.

Not everyone has feet, legs, hands etc...would it be wrong for them
to have prosthetic limbs to use-- it would also "enhance" their over all look."

I think a person altering their appearance to appear what society deems as normal is different than a person altering their appearance to appear "beautiful". The first seeks to blend in, the other seeks to rise above.... this is part of what is making me uncomfortable with the whole idea of beautifying and photographing people. As Christians we are not to esteem ourselves and be about vanity, rather we are to humble ourselves and be about substance.

You said:
..."the OCD is causing you problems"

OCD is causing me lots of problems; however the issue I have here is that it seems like this may be a conviction from God's Spirit as most of my conviction is coming from a number of verses I have read. I know we are supposed to be balanced, and I would love to use these talents I have, but at the same time, I think I may just be one of those people with an overly sensitive conscience. While it may be okay for other women to do this, it may be better for me to just drop these "talents" I want to use since I feel so convicted about it and do something I don't feel conflicted about as a form of obedience to God's Spirit from a clear conscience. I do really want to use these talents and in theory it seems like it may be a way to encourage another person; but when I look deeper at the substance of it, it seems to run counter to what we are suppose to be about as Christians...

I don't know...

Tell her to ignore the bullies as much as she can, because ignorance kills bullying. For majority of cases, bullies do the bullying itself, in order to try to control the person in a certain way, or to watch how they suffer.
But, if she ignores them, as much she can, and does not response to their bullying, and if she does not talk to her bullies at all, there is not much a bully can do to her, because there would not be a response to the bullies from her side.
When a bully hurts you, he wants to see your response, your reaction, how you will suffer, but, if you ignore him, and do not talk to him, you cut him off completely, and he actually loses control over you.

You see, if we make ourself like a doormat, people will come and will wipe their shoes on us. When a bully sees that you response to his bullying, he gets satisfaction from this and it encourages him to continue with his bullying even more. So, tell her to cut them of, and they will feel, that it is worthless bullying her, as much as a bully trying to bully a wall or a stone, there is not response.

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WHERE THERE IS LOVE AND GRACE, THERE IS A HOPE FOR HELP, AND AN ANSWERED PRAYER. TO TRUST IN GOD, IS TO TRUST IN LOVE, BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE PSALM 103:11, Psalm 69:16, Psalm 33:18, Psalm130:7, PSALM 52:8, PSALM 145:8, PSALM 31:19, PSALM 147:11, LAMENTATIONS 3:19-35, PSALM 13:5, ROMANS 8:32-39 (NASB, NIV)

The first seeks to blend in, the other seeks to rise above.... this is part of what is making me uncomfortable with the whole idea of beautifying and photographing people. As Christians we are not to esteem ourselves and be about vanity, rather we are to humble ourselves and be about substance.


*To esteem means to hold in high regard...
I would be holding myself in very high regard if I stated: "I've never sinned".

I would be esteeming myself if I spent all the money I earned on myself and didn't give any for offerings/tithes/didn't help the poor or needy etc.

We are to esteem Jesus...hold him in high regard.

Vanity is excessive pride in one's self or appearance...keyword being excessive.

Eating food, playing games, using the computer aren't sinful(when done in moderation) but when done in excessive it is...because we have made either of those things an idol or idols.

Biblical application of humble--
In the Bible, the humble person was one who acknowledged their place, like John the Baptist calling himself "unworthy" compared to the Messiah (Mark 1:7). Note that there is a distinction to be made between being humble becoming humble (or "humbling oneself," i.e. stooping to less than you deserve).

Humble as referenced in Philippians Chapter 2 -- calls for us to be like Christ and humble ourselves, and this is done by becoming servants to others with our abilities, not denying our abilities.
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Being set apart... When the Lord sets a person apart, directs them not to do certain things/or a particular thing that is a mandate for that person to follow.
Like the Lord directed Samson's parents he was to be a raised as a Nazerite/Nazerene and God gave instructions to Samson (don't cut your hair etc.)
You will note not everyone was called for that position.

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We don't change the message, the message changes us.