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  #1  
Unread 4th March 2012, 04:30 PM
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Kiss does god bring people into your life for a reason? or is it chance?

I was recently in a relationship and I believed as well as him that god brought us together...i had prayed for years to meet a man like him...but we clashed on a lot of things....so i wont point the finger at him..or myself.......now since our break up he is questioning whether god really put us on each others path....he says because he met me on a dating site...and not by random out in the world.....that meeting me was his choice...and not from god.....so can god bring people into our lifes? does that mean everyone who comes on our path through life....doesnt have to be a relationship.....are they there by chance....??? im so confused....i am so worried...idk why i had to meet him.....and i dont know what my life plan is....what my purpose is....god knows....but i wish i knew...
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  #2  
Unread 4th March 2012, 04:55 PM
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Sorry to hear that you two broke up... And yes, God puts people into your life for a reason. Every experience you have with every person you meet, on sites or otherwise, is meant to bring you closer to God and bring you more into a relationship with Him. On dating sites you can choose from many, many people to contact. The fact that you signed up for one, actively searched for someone, and contacted your best match was all known beforehand- God knew you two would meet. Personally, I'm not sure if dating sites are the best idea, but this is between you and God.

You probably had to meet him so that you could understand more about how people come into our lives. Pray to God and ask Him to help you understand more about why this had to happen.
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  #3  
Unread 4th March 2012, 09:40 PM
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i agree with the above...when i look back on my single life, i learned something valuable from every relationship. there are some choices i regret, such as dating people who did not believe. i got hurt, emotionally. but God was able to turn even bad experiences around and make them into something good.

however, you do sometimes have to let certain people go out of your life, in order to allow them, and you, to meet new people. it doesn't mean the relationship wasn't meaningful or that God cannot use that experience to positively benefit you. "all things work together for the good of those who love Him."

now, God can redeem even a negative experience. but that doesn't mean you should date someone who is a bad influence or actively pursue a sinful relationship because God can "fix it later." sin is destructive, and you should try to avoid it. but if you do sin, God doesn't want you to be stuck in regret and remorse. He wants you to heal, and most of all, grow closer to Him.
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  #4  
Unread 4th March 2012, 10:06 PM
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Originally Posted by nicedream View Post
but that doesn't mean you should date someone who is a bad influence or actively pursue a sinful relationship because God can "fix it later." sin is destructive, and you should try to avoid it. but if you do sin, God doesn't want you to be stuck in regret and remorse. He wants you to heal, and most of all, grow closer to Him.
True, but there can be some times where you are meant to sanctify the other person. I don't mean anything like if they abuse you or are not faithful to you, then you should stay- of course not. I just mean people with issues like addiction, mental problems (non aggressive), and unbelieving. It is most certainly not for everyone, but if you're meant to be with a person, you may be the one God wants to use to help them. I'm also not saying to go into the relationship looking to change them- whether or not they change is between them and God. It's definitely something you should have a conversation with God about if you encounter it. But love can be found in the places you least expect it.
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John 13:34 ~ "A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you..."
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  #5  
Unread 5th March 2012, 08:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Sapphire Dragon View Post
You probably had to meet him so that you could understand more about how people come into our lives. Pray to God and ask Him to help you understand more about why this had to happen.
Very much agreed. Exactly what I was thinking.
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Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
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You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die
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  #6  
Unread 5th March 2012, 10:31 AM
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"I don't mean anything like if they abuse you or are not faithful to you, then you should stay- of course not. I just mean people with issues like addiction, mental problems (non aggressive), and unbelieving."

addiction and abuse usually go hand in hand...i'm not saying all addicts are abusers, but almost all abusers are addicts. and as someone who used to be attracted to "bad boys" and try to change them, i have to warn you, you're almost always going to get hurt. yes, you might be of some help to them. but you're going to get hurt in the process and that isn't something God wants.

when i finally decided that there was something sinful or "broken" in my attraction to bad behavior, i was able to settle down and marry someone who truly loves me.

however, God changed me, and these changes take time...that is why, yes, i agree, God puts people in your life for a time, but they are maybe not the person God wants you to stay with or marry.
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  #7  
Unread 5th March 2012, 10:52 PM
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The title you gave this is what brought me. I see you ask based on dating and what I will share has nothing to do dating, but it most defiantly addresses your title.

I had a talk with someone years ago. He was having problems. To me they seemed simple. From the outside they always do. I talked with this person for weeks on this issue. Then the contact between us seemed to stop. . Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? The questions added up. Life though did not pause for the answers though.

Years later I talked with this person to find things I said with his own process of thought led him in a direction. The one he took was one that I myself could not do. In fact I do not even talk about it that much… Well lately it comes to mind.

I had to pause and think of that recently. To talk and invest in a person, to show love. And then for years, remember a shadow. Even wonder if you made a mistake. Only to reconnect and find out you changed this person’s life. This person that has changed so many more people’s life then I could ever do. And to know why we met, to be told by him “you got me over that hump”.

You see we spent time together, but in the end it was a micro cosmism. It mattered but it didn’t change my life….. Or did it? Is it possible to change someone’s life without changing your own?

This person served on a mission’s trip in Africa. It was two weeks. He spent 4 years there.
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  #8  
Unread 6th March 2012, 06:25 PM
Laura Phillips

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You can enjoy any kind of intimacy you like with this person, what you are feeling is natural, healthy attraction, and it doesn't have to get sexual. just see where it takes you honoestly
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  #9  
Unread 6th March 2012, 06:26 PM
Laura Phillips

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he could be the one to introduce you to mr right if hes not the one and you know it
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  #10  
Unread 6th March 2012, 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted by nicedream View Post
"I don't mean anything like if they abuse you or are not faithful to you, then you should stay- of course not. I just mean people with issues like addiction, mental problems (non aggressive), and unbelieving."

addiction and abuse usually go hand in hand...i'm not saying all addicts are abusers, but almost all abusers are addicts. and as someone who used to be attracted to "bad boys" and try to change them, i have to warn you, you're almost always going to get hurt. yes, you might be of some help to them. but you're going to get hurt in the process and that isn't something God wants.

when i finally decided that there was something sinful or "broken" in my attraction to bad behavior, i was able to settle down and marry someone who truly loves me.

however, God changed me, and these changes take time...that is why, yes, i agree, God puts people in your life for a time, but they are maybe not the person God wants you to stay with or marry.
It also depends on which kind of addiction they are suffering from, from drug addiction to alcohol addiction to material addiction to food addiction... there are many. And yes, trying to change someone is usually going to result in getting hurt- it takes only the kind of person who is willing to live with the problem even if it is not resolved to be able to live with them. Sometimes getting hurt is the only way we can learn... it also gives God a chance to speak to you even more clearly and comfort and guide you when you are lost. Such has been my experience.

It's true that God brings the people into your life that you can help, and also very true that they may not be people He wants you to marry. But for those that can live with a person that has issues, and truly love them, truly pray for them, and understand that they may stay the same, the relationship can be dynamic and amazing just as so many do turn out to be. It's certainly not for most people, but a true test of acceptance in God's ways for those who can.
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~真実へこの道を歩きです~
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"My dearest, if God hath so loved us; we also ought to love one another." ~ 1 John 4:11

John 13:34 ~ "A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you..."
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