Singles (only*)A forum for the support of single members or Christians with the gift of celibacy. Posting is restricted to single members 18 and older.
NOTE: This is not a dating or matchmaking service.
*See Statement of Purpose
Don't take this the wrong way but this is something I'm really wondering about. I think most women during their lives experience crude comments from men, I think all my sisters in Christ can agree to that. By crude I mean, not being subtle at all when it comes to intentions and often trying to get away with a not-so-subtle sexualized comment, often while laughing it off to take away the edge. This annoys me. Now, we can all agree that both men and women have sexual desires, but women usually don't go to this extent. Why the difference? Maybe they're not aware of how extremely unattractive and off-putting it is? Again, I'm not trying to stir up something here, just trying to get some answers.
I would say it has a lot to do with socially accepted roles for men and women. Rape culture probably also plays a role, since women are totally non-threatening to a man in a sexual way. When a woman says something crude to a man there is no implied threat of violence, nor any threat to violate them as a person and so on, so men are free to laugh it off or appreciate it. It's a complicated issue that has no simple answer, I suspect.
__________________ If much in the world were mystery the limits of that world were not, for it was without measure or bound and there were contained within it creatures more horrible yet and men of other colors and beings which no man has looked upon and yet not alien none of it more than were their own hearts alien in them, whatever wilderness contained there and whatever beasts.
Throughout the world, men are considered, at least culturally, to be superior than women.. So they somehow think they have a right to make whatever remarks they want, just as one would make a remark about an animal.. I think it has a LOT to do with culture and the way societies work!
__________________ "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me." - Mathew 5:11
I think it tends to be a generalization because men are actively encouraged by society and peer pressure to act crude, but its hardly a guy issue. In fact i think women are increasingly expected to act and think vulgarly as well. I remember being ridiculed when I was 19 by coworkers because i refused to discuss some of the vulgar things they wanted to. And while i did work with some men, i worked mostly with women. And it was one woman in particular that drove the vulgar discussions.
Its common place for both genders to make crude sexual jokes with eachother. I work with older women now (late thirties-mid fifties) and yes, things do take a crude direction when everyone is gathered to talk. If i attempted to share some of the jokes that came up yesterday... I might get a warning here.
And men act the same way when they get together.
the only time that seems to become inappropriate is when those jokes are told in mixed company, and even then... its usually alright. Its when the jokes turn on an individual and that person expresses their discomfort that a line is crossed. but we're being taught more and more that both genders are nothing apart from their sexuality so thats what we're all taught (regardless of gender) to think about, and thats what comes up in discussions.
but crude women? they're rather common and easy to find, as are crude men. its finding people of both genders that want to rise above that that becomes a challenge.
I think part of it is we allow them to and even encourage it. This is just one kind of example about it, but Oh I cannot tell you how many times I've seen and heard guys make some sort of comment and the girls around him start giggling and joking along with him. Yet later, they'll express their agitation about it.