in serious need of help

vespasia · #31 3rd January 2012, 11:15 AM

You have spent a lot of time pursuing the devil and occult
and now when you say a quick prayer you expect all that you
have been sowing into over the years to disappear.

Thankfully God more than surely can.
To say otherwise limits a limitless God whose grace and mercy is beyond any humans ability to know.
However we live in a fallen world and the consequence of being a human in such a place can simply be illness which is in turn the cause of seeking answers in dark places not the cause.

c1ners · #32 3rd January 2012, 11:21 AM

Stop listening to the voices in your head! You know they are evil! You can feel it! When you start talking/thinking about God/Jesus and these voices get louder and things get stranger it's only because they want total control. They don't want you to get close to God/Jesus. But HE is the only answer. Those evil voices only want to kill and destroy you. God wants to save you. But the choice is up to you. You can either turn to him for help or you can continue listening to the evil ones. God will not force you to do anything. But he does love you and wants to help you.

I'd also suggest that you call 911 NOW! You need to go back into the mental insitition and you need to be put back on medication. It may seem like the medication is turning you into a zombie now, but in a few weeks things will get better. The medication has to have time to work.

All is not lost. It may seem like it right now, but there is still time to ask for help. *hugs* and God bless.

earagun · #33 3rd January 2012, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by LostInDarkness85

hi my name is mark, to tell you the truth i dnt really know why i'm here i just feel really confused and completly lost. it may sound stupid and unbelievable but i am being 100% truthful and this is was my last resort and even while i typing something in my head is telling me to delete and move away from the computer.. i am 26 and was bought up at a catholic school called st monicas then went to st josephs colledge for 2 years before transfering to a state school coz i was not a believer,, when i was 20 i had my first child kaydanse lee and was in a long term relationship, when that relationship fell apart (2006) i lost the plot, i blamed god.. late one night after giving up on everything i went down to our local church where i burned the bible on the front steps and cursed at god how i hated him and pledged my life to satan then returned to the flat i had moved into earlier and attempted to take my life.. after that is when things really went bad... i was descovered unconcious and taken to the hospital were i spent the next few days before i was released into my familys care, but since then everything was different, like there was something standing beside me everywhere i went and late at night that something would torture me, i could hear it in the room with me sometimes just breathing, sometimes trying to talk to me, sometimes leading me to look for things.. i told my doctor about what was going on because i was unable to sleep and totally freaked out, he pretty much just said it could be stress from the break up and gave me sleeping pills and sent me home,. a few weeks after that the real terror started, late at night when i was awake alone i could hear a voice telling me in my head that my life was worthless, that i needed to take my life and come with him, that in death my pain would be gone, i remember from when i went to church the name jesus could drive of anything evil so i tried using his name, telling whatever was talking to me to get away from me. to wich it just laughed and told me its all a crock of s#@t and if i wanted any chance to be happy i needed to die or spit in the face of god.. he told me it was god who was making me feel this pain and he has come to help me.. that night was the second time i tried to take my life and came so close to doing it..
i was diagnosed wit bipolar type 1 and given lithiun seroquel and zoloft and told that i was having delusions due to mania and not sleeping and the pills worked for a lil while, the strong dose of seroquel kept me sedated, i met a girl during this time and me and her had a child ella-louise, but this relationship was a destructive one and for some reason i just couldnt let her go even though i knew she was bad for me, i'd be ready to leave and then that voice would always talk me out of it and i would always end up hurt. she get annoyed wit me for anything then break up wit me, then want me back, then break up with me again (you get the picture) when our younges child turned 1 me and her had been broken up for 16months but we were trying to work things out but she ended up running off with some other bloke.. one again i was a wreck and once again the only "friend" i had was the thing that seemed to haunt me. he led me to believe that it was gods fault this was happening and by this stage i hated god, i hated everyone that believed in him.. i started collecting grimoires and practicing magic, i took a keen interest to laveyan satanism, i started wearing around a shirt wich read "god is a c#@t" and introducing everyone i knew to the satanic bible..
after that everything seemed fine, like what was wit me had left and i was free of it... i been off my medication now for 10 months and been feeling pretty good even managed to get back into work, but in the last month i been starting to sense something with me again, hearing something there, feeling a presence with me, i sat down and was scarred that i was loosing it again and was getting upset coz i never want to be on the medication again and be like a zombie.. i tried to think of something that was different and then my eldest daughter reminded me of something... she had been learning about god and jesus at school and had become very interested in it and with alot of debate wit me and her mother we ended up letting it be kaydanse choice what she wanted to believe and bought her a childrens bible which she kept here in her room (i thought it was at her mothers house) it seems that having it in the house and having my daughter as a believer is something not sitting well, but i love my daughters so much and i not going to take it away from her. i have been getting very sick lately mainly at night with vomiting and stomach pains and it felt like someone was holding me down the other night pushing on my chest and my skin was on fire. i need it to stop coz i starting to think that whatever it is isnt my friend and this all probably sounds stupid to all of you but could it be something demonic?? could i just be loosing my mind and it all coincidence?? i am now 26 and afraid of the dark and afraid to be alone, even as i write this i can hear thing like someone beheind me, footsteps, breathing... please can someone tell me whats going on i beg you, help me, sorry this is so long there is so much more that i could put, i need it to end and i feel maybe i have lost my soul forever

you need to find a church that believes in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and have this evil spirit removed, It entered because you opened the door for it, you need help closing that door, your now faced with the reality that not only did God exist but satan exist also and wants to destroy you before you can get this thing out of your life, God loves you and this is why your still alive, He can forgive, and will forgive, but you need biblically based help in casting this entity out......FIND A CHURCH AND TELL THEM YOUR STORY THEY WILL HELP YOU!

LostInDarkness85 · #34 6th January 2012, 05:27 AM

thanks everyone for your help, things are slowly getting better, i been sleeping and the visions are slowly going away, i been ignoring them and ignoring the voices, i also bought a bible and started reading random things in it (even though i dnt seem to understand some of it) i going to give it another week and see if things keep getting better but if they dont or start getting really bad again i going to go see my doctor and maybe go back on some medication...

vespasia · #35 6th January 2012, 06:08 AM

That sounds like an excellent plan.

Praying your mood becomes more stable.

[There are some app's and charts to keep tabs on mood disorders avaialble through bi-polar support charities- might be helpful to use one for the rest fo the week to keep tabs on yourself. The bi-polar folder group should be able to suggest some helpful ones]

briareos · #36 6th January 2012, 06:18 AM

LostInDarkness85

My friend, let me tell you a story (a short one) that may encourage you.

First of all I was an atheist until a year ago and I wanted nothing to do with God and had every reason an intellectual could find to refuse to believe and those reasons are still valid, but as reasonable as those reasons are it doesn't change the fact that God is infact real and that when he opened my eyes to him I believed, regardless of all the good reasons to not believe.

2 weeks ago I was sitting in a bible study and after the bible study was finished a young man came forward to ask the leader to pray for him. The young man grew up in india and all his life he said he had seen, experienced and struggled with "devils" the man was as serious as you can be.

3 nights prior he had attended a church service because he believed in God and since that night he could not sleep. He said that each night since then something would grab him and shake him to wake him up and he would then feel pain in his body and he would lie in his bed trembling uncontrollably and he could no longer sleep.

The leader, another pastor and myself prayed for him in the name of Jesus Christ and according to the scriptures that say that because we are sons and daughters of God we have authority over unclean spirits we commanded that they let him go and not return. This young man was not crazy and he was not seeking attention, he was seeking help because something would literally shake him awake, hurt him and keep him from sleeping.

After that night of prayer it stopped happening. The devil is defeated and all things are under the feet of Jesus Christ and in his name we have authority over those things. Don't let Hollywood teach you about devils, let the word of God do that. Jesus did not suffer them to speak, he told them to shut up and leave and that is how we must treat those sort of things.

It doesn't happen in America or other well developed lands much but if you go to third world countries and meet believers there their view of demons and unclean spirits is very very different and they do not think the answer is medication. They see demon possessed people and have to deal with them and sometimes something inside of them starts talking and says "No I will not leave" . But we have the victory in Jesus name and those things have no choice but to leave.