For those who've experienced sexual abuse

Hi,

Please don't try cutting. That can become a source of great grief.

At times like this indirect contact is not adequate. Your story and its pain needs to be shared. I wish I could do more for you. It;s horrible feeling so helpless knowing what can be done.

Bless you
John
NZ

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel horrible... i'm not right in the head, so it was a good feeling to be able to say it somewhere, with someone listening and caring, but i'm sorry... i once asked God if i was 'crazy' and He told me the humpty dumpty thing, that i had had a great fall, and that nobody could put me back together again, but that God could, and will... i guess i just grow weary of waiting for it... there's that scripture about dashed hopes eating up the bones or whatever it is, and i think, if God knows that, why is He letting my hopes die? tonight i even wondered if all my revelations of God have been my craziness, because i'm obviously barking mad if i can get so unhappy that i want to die... living is fear of hell, but that mostly comes up when i'm thinking about dying.. no that's not true, the doctrine of hell has mostly driven me crazy anyway, all the Christians that talk about the burning fires of hell for most of mankind, with a smile on their faces, i don't understand... the concept of hell makes me very angry at God, then i start getting scared of hell all over again, is there no end to the suffering?

You are not crazy - no way. Lots going on your don't fully understand, but definitely not crazy.

Just ignore that fear of Hell. That is not the central biblical message, although it seems to be in some circles it seems. But if it keeps you from thinking about suicide too seriously it has some value right now I suppose.

Yes God wants to heal you, but He works mainly through His people and too many of them just don't get that and are not in a position to help deeply hurt people.

Are you on Skype?

John
NZ

yes i'm on skype, but if we spoke on there my husband would hear, he gets very angry when i do anything but act chipper... but we can chat in type on skype... i don't think i could seriously admit to how i feel deep inside OUT LOUD anyway.. maybe the devil can't read, but he can hear? i just think words have power and i don't want to speak this stuff out loud. and as far as the fear of hell goes, i don't know how to get rid of that, even tho i have heard other interpretations of that message and wish i could be a universalist Christian, oh gosh my cat just woke up and meowed at me a few times, she's God's little messenger but i never know what she's saying! and yeah i'm crazy, even tho my thoughts are 'connected'... i have had totally hellish fear and torment for years now, and 'normal' people just don't go thru that kind of stuff. i don't know, maybe i'm just demonically tormented, and not so much 'insane'. but being demonically tormented is kind of the same as insane isn't it?

Ill PM you

John
NZ

Awww l'm sooo sorry to hear that l also was in abusive relationship and had sex before marriage l felt so guilty and got sexually abused by a guy its hard to put your past behind you. My best advice is to counselling or talk to someone you can trust you can't do this alone. When l was abused by that guy it feels like yesterday its gotten better since then l still do think about it. Its been nine years if you need me l'm hear for you.

Originally Posted by mebby02

Awww l'm sooo sorry to hear that l also was in abusive relationship and had sex before marriage l felt so guilty and got sexually abused by a guy its hard to put your past behind you. My best advice is to counselling or talk to someone you can trust you can't do this alone. When l was abused by that guy it feels like yesterday its gotten better since then l still do think about it. Its been nine years if you need me l'm hear for you.

Yes, getting help and talking to a trustworthy person who is aware is a good place to start.

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I too look forward to death and being restored by God, though I also seek a dignity in desth so suicide is out for me. On that topic, scripture says nothing can snatch from the hsnd of Christ those whom the father has given. Not the world, satan, and not ourselves.

Take gentle care.

Significant healing now is possible. Sadly too few know how to bring that about adequately. But many can testify to their own journey of transformation after abuse.

Bless you
John
NZ

Originally Posted by Johnnz

Significant healing now is possible. Sadly too few know how to bring that about adequately. But many can testify to their own journey of transformation after abuse.

Bless you
John
NZ

Yes.

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