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  #1  
Unread 20th September 2011, 02:54 PM
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Prayer how to put God first in my relationship with my boyfriend

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. When we first dated we started reading the Bible and praying. We also stayed at my apartment. He lives with his parents and younger brother. My boyfriend is 24 years old. He graduated from college. To me, sometimes it seems like his parents especially his mother don't want us together. He does everything his parents want him to do but it seems like he left God out. He obeys his parents but not God, when God tells him to listen to him. Its like he's made his parents some kind of gods and more important than God. Well I dont go over to his house right now and I think he's upset with that. His mother is bossy and she yells alot at him if he doesn't do everything she says. They say they are Christians but it doesnt seem like it. His dad curses alot his mom yells alot, I think she is jealous sometimes because he has a girlfriend. If you talk about marriage around them they don't say anything like they are upset. Sometimes it feels like a prison there He can make his own decisions but he doesn't. His mom likes when he comes to her for everything. Its something wrong with that. My parents aren't no where near like his parents and Im not like him. If God wants me to do something I will do it, over my parents and friends and whoever else. You can't please people becasue they want more. Well, when we first started dating it was very nice, he was so nice. Then his mom, not him, his mom wanted to meet me and go to dinner so we did, but I was so nervous and uncomfortable. After that, we started going to his parent's house all the time, I even spent nights there. I was spending more time there then at my apartment. Thats when everything went down hill. All I started to hear most of the time was yelling back and forward. Whatever she said goes and she was trying to get me to obey her too, but I said no. Im not falling into that trap. My own parents dont even treat me like that. So, since then its been downhill. He's the one that started saying I love you to me. Now, every few days a week he calls me to tell me he didn't like what I said about me feeling like I was in prison or what I said to his mom. I just stood up because I wasn't taking anymore garbage. I told him if he keeps going back to the past and calling me about what we already talked about I am going to leave. For three straight hours all we talked about was how he felt. Sometimes I think he doesn't listen to me or God. I tell him that you're not God, God is God, pray and leave it to Him, but he makes up excuses, Im not buying it. Well Im told him Im moving forward in God. I want to be stronger in God, that if my relationship with my boyfriend does end, I need Gods help to make me strong and to move on to something better God has for me. My boyfriend said he wanted to start our relationship over with God, I said good. I love talking about God, learning about God and doing His Word. I need a man who will help with my walk with God, not pull me away from Him. I want to believe that he truly wants to change and keep God in our relationship to make it stronger, but sometimes I think he's just saying it and he really doesnt want to pay attention to God and not only be a hearer of the Word but a doer. Im praying and still praying. I don't want him to be there just so he can use me and my body. I need a man stronger than that. I need prayer too, for him and me and his family to not get into our relationship but to be more positive and let God do and say what He wants not them and not us. How should we start our relationship with God first? and how do we continue to keep God in the center or our life and to have a better understanding of God his love and what he wants us to be. I want a stronger relationship and they only way to do that is with God.
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  #2  
Unread 22nd September 2011, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous Voice View Post
I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. When we first dated we started reading the Bible and praying. We also stayed at my apartment. He lives with his parents and younger brother. My boyfriend is 24 years old. He graduated from college. To me, sometimes it seems like his parents especially his mother don't want us together. He does everything his parents want him to do but it seems like he left God out. He obeys his parents but not God, when God tells him to listen to him. Its like he's made his parents some kind of gods and more important than God. Well I dont go over to his house right now and I think he's upset with that. His mother is bossy and she yells alot at him if he doesn't do everything she says. They say they are Christians but it doesnt seem like it. His dad curses alot his mom yells alot, I think she is jealous sometimes because he has a girlfriend. If you talk about marriage around them they don't say anything like they are upset. Sometimes it feels like a prison there He can make his own decisions but he doesn't. His mom likes when he comes to her for everything. Its something wrong with that. My parents aren't no where near like his parents and Im not like him. If God wants me to do something I will do it, over my parents and friends and whoever else. You can't please people becasue they want more. Well, when we first started dating it was very nice, he was so nice. Then his mom, not him, his mom wanted to meet me and go to dinner so we did, but I was so nervous and uncomfortable. After that, we started going to his parent's house all the time, I even spent nights there. I was spending more time there then at my apartment. Thats when everything went down hill. All I started to hear most of the time was yelling back and forward. Whatever she said goes and she was trying to get me to obey her too, but I said no. Im not falling into that trap. My own parents dont even treat me like that. So, since then its been downhill. He's the one that started saying I love you to me. Now, every few days a week he calls me to tell me he didn't like what I said about me feeling like I was in prison or what I said to his mom. I just stood up because I wasn't taking anymore garbage. I told him if he keeps going back to the past and calling me about what we already talked about I am going to leave. For three straight hours all we talked about was how he felt. Sometimes I think he doesn't listen to me or God. I tell him that you're not God, God is God, pray and leave it to Him, but he makes up excuses, Im not buying it. Well Im told him Im moving forward in God. I want to be stronger in God, that if my relationship with my boyfriend does end, I need Gods help to make me strong and to move on to something better God has for me. My boyfriend said he wanted to start our relationship over with God, I said good. I love talking about God, learning about God and doing His Word. I need a man who will help with my walk with God, not pull me away from Him. I want to believe that he truly wants to change and keep God in our relationship to make it stronger, but sometimes I think he's just saying it and he really doesnt want to pay attention to God and not only be a hearer of the Word but a doer. Im praying and still praying. I don't want him to be there just so he can use me and my body. I need a man stronger than that. I need prayer too, for him and me and his family to not get into our relationship but to be more positive and let God do and say what He wants not them and not us. How should we start our relationship with God first? and how do we continue to keep God in the center or our life and to have a better understanding of God his love and what he wants us to be. I want a stronger relationship and they only way to do that is with God.
I think "you" need to put God first in your life. You're spending a lot of time on the problems with your boyfriend and his family. This may and probably is detracting you from your own spiritual walk which should be first in your life. Placing and keeping God first will also make you stronger and more able to discern what to do with and how to deal with this relationship you've written about. It is causing you considerable turmoil and from what you've written is like an emotional roller coaster.

So put God first. You need His strength not your boyfriends. If your boyfriend puts God first and you get along then your relationship will undoubtedly be quite good.
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Sacerdote
Baptist Minister & Hospital Chaplain
US Army Retired, DAV





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