Singles (only*)A forum for the support of single members or Christians with the gift of celibacy. Posting is restricted to single members 18 and older.
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Why should it be the first thing that people learn about me online? It's not like my age is displayed next to my name or face in real life. If somebody asks, or if it's pertinent to the conversation, I’ll share. Otherwise, I'd rather keep it to myself.
For what it's worth, I'm in my mid thirties. I mention this in my profile, and I don't pretend that my age is anything other than what it is.
That is true - however - people can usually get a pretty close approximate idea. I'd argue that the very first thing people learn about you, in real life - upon just meeting you - is both your gender and your approximate age.
The flip side - however - is that people tend to be more open about what they *think* on the internet than face to face with strangers.
I'm not sure I believe y'all who said that you don't care, or that it doesn't matter. Because for a few of you - you had it displayed before and chose to change that - if it really didn't matter to you - you'd have left it.
I've had my age displayed for at least a couple of weeks, if not all of August. And I switch it back and forth, Mr. Doubter, not because it matters to me, but because I'm odd. I'm not ashamed to be from the U.S., but I hide the flag more often than my age. From a purely aesthetic view, the numbers aren't attractive and don't really fit in with the rest of the icons under our usernames. Sometimes I want pretty. And I don't always like the cluttery look of all of the icons. Silly? Maybe. I always don't feel my age matters, but I show it now because of my whole feminist thing and making it absolutely clear that I have nothing to be ashamed of because I am aging.
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Last edited by Henrietta; 27th August 2011 at 11:33 PM.
That is true - however - people can usually get a pretty close approximate idea. I'd argue that the very first thing people learn about you, in real life - upon just meeting you - is both your gender and your approximate age.
The flip side - however - is that people tend to be more open about what they *think* on the internet than face to face with strangers.
What's a "pretty close approximate idea?" I can often figure somebody's age give or take 10 years, but not always. The twenties and thirties are especially hard for me to differentiate. Some 25 year olds could pass for 40, and some 35 year olds could pass for 20. I see this all the time when dealing with graduate students and undergrads at work.
In my experience, people are better at figuring out things like height, weight, ethnicity, fitness etc. If we're going for an accurate representation of our real life appearances online, then why not display that info next to our usernames instead?
What's a "pretty close approximate idea?" I can often figure somebody's age give or take 10 years, but not always. The twenties and thirties are especially hard for me to differentiate. Some 25 year olds could pass for 40, and some 35 year olds could pass for 20. I see this all the time when dealing with graduate students and undergrads at work.
That's true, sometimes. Someone I had seen on a regular basis recently told me his age. He's 35. I was surprised to find he was younger than me because I figured he was at least into his 40's and he even had some grey hair.
On the other hand, at a social event recently someone I just met picked my age to within 3 years.
Originally Posted by Miles
In my experience, people are better at figuring out things like height, weight, ethnicity, fitness etc. If we're going for an accurate representation of our real life appearances online, then why not display that info next to our usernames instead?
Indeed. I had a photo on my profile for a while but I removed it because it's a few years old now, and I haven't bothered to post a new one. But, most everyone here knows how I look (video,photos).
Not that that's important. But I'd like people to know (as I like to know) that they are conversing with, as far as I feel comfortable revealing to relative strangers, an accurate representation of myself. No surprises.
I don't imagine everyone else is so inclined - and while age might not indicate maturity, per se - it often does indicate a level of life experience and it's worthwhile to note that when considering someone's thoughts.
Same reason I don't post my photo or my full name.
__________________ Every word of God is flawless; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.
Do not add to His words, or He will rebuke you and prove you a liar.
- Proverbs 30:5-6
It's simple. I hide everything [here, and I may start doing so more elsewhere] because I want to be judged by the only thing you may rightly judge me in a text medium: what I write. If what I write is stupid, then judge what I write as stupid; don't glaze over what I write and dismiss me as stupid because I am a 15-year-old girl. Or actually, yes, you can do that. But my point still stands: I intend, if only once in a blue moon, to contribute something through writing... occasionally music, but not often... so judge me on that.
This is the reason why I decided to hide my faith and gender icons... er, kinda. If people can't tell that I'm a Christian based on the things that I share (which are my take on things, opinions or how I conduct my life, etc.) then I'm either not doing a good enough job or that person is being hyper-critical. Either way, a problem that needs to be addressed internally, no doubt. As far as being a woman, I thought it would be interesting to go "incognito" for a bit and have people judge my posts at face value (nothing more, nothing less), but as Strav puts it in the following, I've given myself away more than a few times anyway..
Originally Posted by Stravinsk
...
Edit: Oh and WD - For the longest time I was unsure of whether you were male or female. It wasn't until you made a few comments in a sex related thread that I was sure. This was at least a year or two ago.
Success.
Originally Posted by Im_A
5 year image icon shown, your guess is 26 the last time you had your age shown up? Hmmm...(she's a)maniac? Hmmmm
I don't judge on age and anyone who does, do you really a give crap what that person would think? I don't really judge at all unless its one my topics that set me ablaze lol I am sure many judge by the colorful sig I have too
Last edited by Amber the Duskbringer; 28th August 2011 at 08:36 AM.
Reason: spelling
I hid it for a long time (well, days ...) as I didn't quite understand why it was important. Why did someone need to know how old I happened to be at that precise moment in time? So they can make generalisations on life experience, on how opinions will change as I age (which they do, but that happens regardless of age), all of those things. Especially in some of the other subforums there were (and still are to some extent) a lot of assumptions made about others due to their displayed age.
Then I made it visible because I didn't understand why it was important to me how people decided to group me. Honestly, if they're going to generalise and make sweeping judgements due to a characteristic I display online they will do that regardless of what is shown or not shown. Avatars, signatures, denomination (which I show only as I do like to talk in certain subforums), everything visible can be used to cast a judgement on you regardless of post content.
I don't really pay much attention to whether age is displayed or not, I don't really spend much time pondering why it is hidden either. I guess i'm just not curious enough, the only people I actively point out their age to are those i'm a fan of teasing
Ahem. I happen TO BE a dirty old man and I take offense to your assertion that I might be afraid of being identified as such. Thanks.
It's ok Nano. I'm totally into someone who is younger than me. So yeah...paint me faux cougar. Because a one year age difference makes you a cougar. Right?
Originally Posted by AllieBaba2012
I have no idea why someone would hide their age, unless it's to lead people into believing they're some other age.
Nope, not at all. I'm just don't believe age has anything to do with maturity.
My personal level of maturity depends on what mood I'm in and the discussion I'm involved in.
I might be talking about something like Calvin and Hobbes one minute and deep in a discussion about theology the next. I think throwing my age in there will just confuse people.
Big question: Why does age even matter? Maybe that's a totally different thread...
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It's ok Nano. I'm totally into someone who is younger than me. So yeah...paint me faux cougar. Because a one year age difference makes you a cougar. Right?
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