Why do some married people think its okay to get fat?
I'm just curious because I know men and women who got married and got fat. I know some who even got divorced... got thin... then got remarried and got refat. What gives?
Something that always makes me smile when I see it is a healthy looking woman with a guy who looks pregnant. I'm sure the laughter in my eyes gives me away every time I see this.
Maybe getting divorced was the motivation they needed like "starting over"..then they got married again ..and remembered why they got divorced in the first place and started eating to comfort themselves and to deal with the depression and misery of their 2nd marraige?
I didn't start gaining weight until I'd already been married for 8 years. So it wasn't marriage that did it. Rather it was moving to Alaska and being cooped up for 7 months out of the year. My husband gained weight around the same time and I'm sure it was for the same reason. It's not ok. And I'm working on it. I've lost some weight and a few inches this summer. I'm just hoping it won't come back this winter. It, unfortunately, does and will usually bring along a few friends too.
Things happen, stress happens, pregnancy happens, physical changes happen, hormone changes happen. They could be fighting fat for hours a day and still not be able to get it off, like me, I struggle to keep within the size 14-18 range. Never been smaller than a 12 since I hit puberty.
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Divorce causes weight loss, so im not sure that the cycle of gain loss gain with MDR is meaningful. I lost lots of weight when we were separated, didnt have really much extra, but ended up in best shape because once I got past the misery I didnt let it come back....sadly, its creepin now, maybe 5 to 10 extra is back on.....for me all I can say is busy-ness and stress of 4 kids at wide age range...thats a reason not an excuse, but I have become slothlike
What's objectionable is when one spouse (usually the husband, according to stereotype) complains that the other is letting herself go, but when you look at him, he's no prize either. I saw a letter to an advice columnist from a man who had been married some thirty years, discovered that his wife didn't quite fit into her wedding dress anymore, and complained, "I want my young, slim wife back." The columnist promptly reminded him that he has changed over those thirty years too. Does he still look the same as he did on their wedding day? Obviously not. Why is his combover, ear hair, and gargantuan beer belly acceptable, while if she gains a dress size, she's committing a grievous sin?
Fortunately, Mike thinks I'm beautiful the way I am.
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My hubby's a bigger guy, at around 240lbs he looks it too. Now it's stretched over a lot of muscle mind you, but he would consider himself "fat."
He's always been a big guy, and personally I LOVE the way he looks - he's trying to lose weight because he knows its healthier - but if health weren't an issue, I'd tell him not to change.
I find his body extremely attractive, so yes one spouse may be "fat" - but I think you're assuming a lot when you automatically classify that as "bad/unattractive" thing.
He's my cuddly bear.
- Niff
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The only thing Niffer..there does seem to be a double standard..not many men lets say are running around saying that their wifes xtra 40 or so lbs since marraige makes her his cuddly wuddly mama bear..
In other words its not just AL that is mentioning it as a bad/unattracive thing..the only thing is he said men and women..and I do think..well its obvious its more men that have issues with the wife gaining weight..regardless if hes put on 100lbs himself..
As it so happens, I was just discussing beauty standards and how they change at another site. I posted a picture of my favorite example of a woman who does not conform to mannequin standards, but in her day was considered a beauty queen and a world renowned celebrity.
I am referring to Lillian Russell.
And she weighed over 200 pounds. Nowadays, if a woman weighs much more than 100, Hollywood is going to call her fat.
It is somehow more OK for a man to be chubby than for a woman, but I'm afraid if I went into detail about that, we'd be off on a flamewar. Is there any chance we can discuss that sensitive topic without ending up in a fight?
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