why does pastors children not always like their parent?

robertsiteline · #1 6th July 2011, 11:56 AM

i am afraid of being a minister of God mostly{pastor}, i have discovered that most often than not,some of their children seems to contradict their doctrine and preaching which end up bringing shame to the parents. I am a minister to be,please can somebody help me and tell me the way out?

mr73140 · #2 6th July 2011, 02:05 PM

Being a pastor's child does not exempt the child from being tempted to doing wrong; they are just like all children. Kid's are kids. Pastor's children are no wrose than any other children; although, saints seem to labor the pastor's children as bad and disobedient. Pray for them and let them be children...when I was a child, I acted like a child....

branchofthevine · #3 9th July 2011, 04:55 PM

Because the Pastor or Minister care more for their "Ministry" than their family and are terrible fathers bringing up their children. Children will see every aspect of your life, a Pastor must not be preaching something he isn't living at home. Children turn away from their fathers who are pastors because they see the hypocrisy of their fathers.

Just don't be a hypocrite by preaching things which are not true in your life, and make sure to put your family before your "Pastorship". That is a New Testament requirement. If you can't take care of your children, how can you take care of God's children?

DYOLF · #4 18th November 2011, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by robertsiteline

i am afraid of being a minister of God mostly{pastor}, i have discovered that most often than not,some of their children seems to contradict their doctrine and preaching which end up bringing shame to the parents. I am a minister to be,please can somebody help me and tell me the way out?

Hypocricy like what the guy above said.

Gossip-never discuss your church members business in the presents of your kids.Once they see how flawed everyone is they take Christianity as a joke.

Not walking in love

Lack of parental love-as much as your church is important,do not forget you are your child's parent.They need you,do not be in a habit of showing love only to church members while treating your kids harshly.

Time-if you do not give your kids time they learn to do without you very early.You become irrelevant.

Having a form of Godliness without any power.If your life does not have any fruit correct that very fast.If your kids know you never get answered prayer why do you expect them to follow your footsteps?

visionary · #5 18th November 2011, 07:32 AM

All of above... very good points. Involve your children in the love for others. Teach them that what you do is out of love and not because it is a job.

earagun · #6 18th November 2011, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by robertsiteline

i am afraid of being a minister of God mostly{pastor}, i have discovered that most often than not,some of their children seems to contradict their doctrine and preaching which end up bringing shame to the parents. I am a minister to be,please can somebody help me and tell me the way out?

what your witnessing is unqaulified Pastors, the bible clearly makes mention that leadership and authority must have their own house in order to be qualified to be in these positions. In todays unbiblical church, these folks are so dependent on their position for their income, they refuse to step down even though their kids are running wild in the streets. If eldership in churches were done in a biblical way, these pastors would be removed from their post and given time to get their families in line, because you can't be expected to lead a whole flock, if you can't lead your own family

daffirose · #7 14th January 2012, 09:04 AM

Allow your children the freedom to choose. I am anglican and our current priest has two older children. Neither come to church though the older does occaisionally. The guy before him son did not come. The guy before him, the younger one did but not the elder. Basically let them live their own lives. Yes the congregation of the church would like them there. But it is important you give them the freedom to be who they are and not make them do anything against their own will. Our priest isn't the only priest in England who's children/offspring do not go to church.
You did not choose their genders and they did not choose your job/calling. There will always be a point when children are against their parents. The secret is to show them they are loved, now matter what. Dont be worried by the expectations of the congregation. At first I think we were all dubious when one of the priests older child did not show. We got used to it. Now with the current priest, its no big deal that they don't come. Whether as an earlier poster suggests a pastor/priest cares for their flock more than their family. Am not sure that is so true. But it is different with family. the pastor/priest can yell at his family who are there to help care for him when he is so busy caring for us. The carer needs caring too and his/your family will care for you. Your family will see your warts and all where as the congregation just see how caring you are. Children and wives will pick up on this and feel rejected at times that you may seem as though you are caring for your congregation more. that is only because 'we' the congregation do not see the 'whole' you that your family sees.
Good luck in your minsitry. Include your children if they are interested but not enforce them to be there

DYOLF · #8 14th January 2012, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by daffirose

Allow your children the freedom to choose. I am anglican and our current priest has two older children. Neither come to church though the older does occaisionally. The guy before him son did not come. The guy before him, the younger one did but not the elder. Basically let them live their own lives. Yes the congregation of the church would like them there. But it is important you give them the freedom to be who they are and not make them do anything against their own will. Our priest isn't the only priest in England who's children/offspring do not go to church.
You did not choose their genders and they did not choose your job/calling. There will always be a point when children are against their parents. The secret is to show them they are loved, now matter what. Dont be worried by the expectations of the congregation. At first I think we were all dubious when one of the priests older child did not show. We got used to it. Now with the current priest, its no big deal that they don't come. Whether as an earlier poster suggests a pastor/priest cares for their flock more than their family. Am not sure that is so true. But it is different with family. the pastor/priest can yell at his family who are there to help care for him when he is so busy caring for us. The carer needs caring too and his/your family will care for you. Your family will see your warts and all where as the congregation just see how caring you are. Children and wives will pick up on this and feel rejected at times that you may seem as though you are caring for your congregation more. that is only because 'we' the congregation do not see the 'whole' you that your family sees.
Good luck in your minsitry. Include your children if they are interested but not enforce them to be there

How do you interpret this scripture?

1Ti 3:1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

daffirose · #9 14th January 2012, 09:22 AM

but a man does know how to rule his own house by not forcing others to go against their will

DYOLF · #10 14th January 2012, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by daffirose

but a man does know how to rule his own house by not forcing others to go against their will

You gave a list of leaders of your church who obviously appear like they are not managing their own house holds.
By biblical standards these men should not have anything to do with the running of the church because they can not run their own households.It is a big thing before the Lord that's why he says if you cant bring your own children into subjection don't even bother trying to lead the church.Judgement starts in the house of God and this is what God has done in the past concerning people's children.

1Sa 3:12 In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end.
1Sa 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.
1Sa 3:14 And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.

The reason why judgement came on Eli was because he did not restrain his children from doing evil.The bible says train a child when he is young and he will not depart from the ways.Training is real work and every parent has a responsibility to train their kids.Every parent has an opportunity to shape the child's thinking long before the child goes to school or makes friends.This is the time to teach children.You also have to live right in their eyes because they do what they see you doing.Also if you are not having good fruits in your life your children know about it,all these things will make or break a child.
We do not know why the kids of your Pastors are not in subjection but whoever God calls he equips.It is in the power of that individual to put his house in order.If he fails it's not God's problem but that Pastor's problem.