Married Men--Your Definiting of Respect??

My husband often says he doesn't feel respected by me. Sometimes I think he confuses respect with obeying. But I would really love to know what other married men consider respect to be. Especially from their wives. When she respects you, does it intensify your love for her? Thanks for any feedback you can give!

I know how you feel. If my husband asks me to do something, like the dishes for instance, and I just don't....for whatever reason, he feels like I disrespected him. I didn't "disobey" him on purpose, it's just that life happens and I can't always get around to everything that needs to be done. Why does he feel disrespected?

Good thread! Come on men, answer. Inquiring minds want to know!

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Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.-- Philippians 4:8

We can’t tell………………………….



This is a secret vow that all men have to take prior to marriage. Sort of a prenup agreement as written in the book of men, section 4 verse 1 under the no “clue statue”.





You ladies often wondered what takes place a bachelor party ….there you go…….it’s the signing of the agreement …..the party is just a cover-up.

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sandman

wow, mom4christ is a very......different name for someone who is 20 to have. cool, but different. I will be 20 in 5 days, and i've never had a g/f before, nevermind being married/having kids! wowwowwow! lol

LOL

I know. I married at age 18 and had my son a week after I turned 20. It's very rough, especially since my husband still has some growing up to do, but I'm living my life for the Lord!

lol....no clue statute.... How can I argue?

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Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.-- Philippians 4:8

I searched through the 'no clue statute' I signed and found a loophole in section 23.3 that says I can divulge information if it does not directly undermine the integrity of the underlying purpose of the statute. Regardless of what I say, my wife will attest that to at least some degree I have NO clue, therefore the integrity of the clause remains intact. With that out of the way...

From my standpoint, I feel respected if my wife listens to what I have to say and honestly considers it. She doesn't have to agree with me on everything, but I want to know she isn't blowing off my thoughts and feelings like I don't know what I'm talking about. And when I DON'T know what I'm talking about (which is more often than I'd like to admit!), she should at least humor me! And yes, it intensifies my love for her when she respects me. I don't consider obeying to be the same as respect, but I can see how some men could. It's a fine line. But it's a line that goes both ways. For me, with both myself and my wife working full time with kids, there's not much time to point fingers. We both have to pitch in and do whatever is necessary to get the job done.

Now I must, by section 45.2 of the "no clue statute" state that the above comments in no way reflect upon men in general and that, as a man, I have no idea why I do the things I do.

I'm not a boy, but I have an idea on this. Take the dishes for example. If my fiance asks me to do the dishes, and I don't get to them because I am busy doing schoolwork, he has no problem, if he asks me to do the dishes and I don't do them because I am busy watching tv, then that is disrespectful, not because I didn't obey him, but because I put my own very petty needs over his own. Now, if he knows that I am very busy with schoolwork, and asks me to do the dishes, he is disrespecting me. This is something we dealt a lot with, mostly with him feeling like I didn't care what he had to say because I would ignore his requests for help around the apartment (much like i ignored my parents requests to clean my room). I have gotten a lot better at it now though. I don't know if that's the problem or not, but that's just an idea.

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Ephesians 2:8-9

"Because it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith; not by anything of your own, but by a gift from God; not by anything that you have done, so that nobody can claim the credit."

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Jilly Bean
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Jill, you said it! I think respect needs to be a two-way street. If my husband constantly tells me to do things that I simply cannot do, I feel like he doesn't care that my plate is already full for that day. But, I still do my best to "fulfill his wishes" no matter how busy I am. Usually, I can't. But I do try, even if it's just doing a quarter of the dishes instead of all of them or sweeping the floor, but not mopping as well. When I surprise him, I know that intensifies his love. It's all about give-and-take!