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  #1  
Old 11th June 2011, 01:20 AM
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Losing friend after kids and marriage?

I'm just curious if any other single young adults have exerienced this.

My best friend and I have been friends for 15 years and we're both 27 years of age now. I've been there through everything between breakups, makes ups, family issues and I stood as Maid of Honor at her wedding.

I realized that when she got married that things would change, understandably, and that we wouldn't see each other as much. I would still occasionally be invited over and get phone calls. Fast forward...my best friend becomes pregnant with her first child and I was ecstatic!

I called on occasion to see how she was doing because she had a difficult pregnancy and I was at the hospital when their daughter was born. I was invited to the baby shower that they chose to have after she was born because the difficult pregnancy kept her bed ridden a lot.

However, it seems like immediately after the baby shower my best friend stopped all communication with me. At first I shrugged it off as being busy with the baby because I did receive a thank you card for the baby gift but now it is as if I'm completely shut out. She won't answer my calls, return my calls or even respond when I send a simple "Hey" on facebook chat yet she posts to others. Nothing happened between us that I know of...

Has anyone ever had their married friends do this after having kids?
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  #2  
Old 11th June 2011, 03:52 PM
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We are still in contact from time to time.
Few calls but when Eids come we call each other or send SMS.
Chating not like before because I don't want to bother them!
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  #3  
Old 11th June 2011, 11:38 PM
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Marriage is a full-time job. Kids are a full-time job. Having both is like three full-time jobs. Do not take it personally that your friend does not have time for you. God first, husband second, kids second-B, church third, self fourth, extended family fifth, does not leave much time or energy for "just friends."
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  #4  
Old 13th June 2011, 09:05 AM
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Yeah marriage brings a lot to deal with and leaves a lot less time for your friends.

It also becomes more difficult to relate to single friends because literally everything in your life changes and you seemingly live in an entirely different world then when you where single or even dating.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't stay in contact with her, but you should just know that friendships are harder to maintain when you are married.
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  #5  
Old 19th June 2011, 07:45 PM
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Sorry to hear that happened to you with such a good friend.

I had a friend who, for some reason, no longer wanted much contact with me after she got married. This was several years ago, and she didn't even have kids at the time. It puzzled me. I did what I typically did in those days - I continued trying to keep the friendship going for a while, but eventually, not wanting to force things (a friendship can't be one-sided forever) I backed off too.
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  #6  
Old 24th June 2011, 09:28 PM
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basically she's next-level living, and you're running out of time
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  #7  
Old 27th June 2011, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Xenocide View Post
basically she's next-level living, and you're running out of time
What exactly do you mean by "running out of time" if you don't mind my asking?
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  #8  
Old 28th June 2011, 04:53 PM
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I've lost friends right after they got married. Unfortunately married people have the idea that single people are beneath them and will usually cut off contact with anyone not married. I've lost some pretty great friends that way and all you can do is wish them the best and move on.
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  #9  
Old 28th June 2011, 05:17 PM
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That is how it goes...... Remember friends is last on the totem pole of priorities......
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  #10  
Old 29th June 2011, 10:33 PM
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Yep. The married club is an exclusive club that you and I are not apart of.

I realise marriage brings all sorts of new responsibilities, friends aren't necessarily high on the list of priorities, etc.

My married friends are still the same people they were (and none of them have kids yet), we still have the same likes and interests, just now me and all the other non-married people get excluded when they get together as group. Apparently they have this new found maturity and I just 'don't get it'
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