Anxiety & Fears Has Houseboud Me :(

I feel the exact same way you described. I just posted in another thread on here about how I feel like I'm nearly kept at home because of this. I was going to church a few times, tried out different churches to find one to go to. But, every time I went I had anxiety/panic. I prayed every time before I went that I wouldn't have it, so I would be able to go all the time, yet I still had it when I went. I ended up not going to church at all because of this and just watching a church that has there services online now. It was just too difficult to sit through the entire services feeling anxiety/panic each time. I wasn't really fully paying attention or participating in worship or anything because I was just focused on trying to stay calm. And, I didn't talk to anyone unless they spoke to me first and then I would just answer quickly and go on. So, I figured I may as well just not go.

I would like to find a church to attend and be able to go every week and get involved in activities and things there. But, this anxiety/panic is holding me back to where I feel like I just can not do it. I know sometimes we have to just go on and force ourselves to do things, but I can't get past the anxiety/panic feelings. I get there or anywhere almost and feel weird; like I can't breathe right (you know like when people panic); feel nervous, sometimes even jittery; and sometimes even kind of sick. And, it doesn't just last a few seconds or minutes, a lot of times it lasts until I remove myself from wherever I'm at or until I'm home and have been home for a bit. Sometimes once I get out of wherever I'm at, like once I get back to the car, I'll start to calm down, other times it's once I get home and am there a bit I'll start to calm down. So, a lot of times I just stay home to avoid feeling that way. Sometimes I get it for no apparent reason at all. I'll just be at home and start feeling that way.

I always get told to just deal with it and to just go on and ignore it and do things anyway. But, I don't know how to do that. How am I supposed to do that when I feel like I described? When sometimes I feel sick, 'out of it' like walking in a fog I guess, I get hot, and then feel like I could pass out when I get anxiety/panic, how am I supposed to just go on and ignore that? I want to, I really want to, but I don't know how to do that at all. I've tried, but I still feel that way, so it doesn't help. I've tried to calm down, take deep breaths, tell myself I'm fine and I will be fine, but that doesn't stop those feelings, so it doesn't seem to help. I've prayed so hard and for so long for this to be removed from me so I could do things and do what God wants me to do, but it's still there.

I wish I could tell you how to really deal with it and to overcome it, but I haven't learned how myself. I can only say that I know exactly how you feel and I will be praying for you.