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28th May 2011, 12:12 AM
| | Anonymous
| | Join Date: 6th September 2008
Posts: 9,385
Blessings: 17,040,514 My Mood 
Reps: 4,702,893,574,760,591 (power: 4,702,893,574,774) | | | Asking for some guidance during trials
hey guys, i've been really, really feeling life lately. at first it was just mental and now its become both. my dad committed suicide about 2 years ago, the girl i fell in love with is with another guy, two of the 3 things i am working on are failing and i feel stuck and without any control. i honestly don't have any friends but my family... and i just barely have them. i dropped out of school because i would rather pursue life in my own direction.
i feel like i am trapped, but yet i am still free. i feel like i am weak, but yet i am still strong. i feel like i am inadequate, an idiot, a loser, but yet i believe in myself and i have faith. i feel like there is no hope, yet i know i have every opportunity in the world cause i am capable. i feel dead inside, like i could never smile again, but i can instantly and without reason smile for as long as i want. i feel like no-one knows me, gets me, or ever will, but yet i know that it doesn't matter. i feel like life is over, but yet i know i am 20 years old and that to be where i am now and to be where i am going, i couldn't have done it without those 20 years.
i came into this feeling depressed, yet optimistic... i felt like a wanted out, but yet i'm not done with being in. i re-read what i wrote above and i feel even more free than i did when i wrote "...but yet i am still free." it's as if i have accepted on a sub-concious level that what is happening and has happened was meant to be and that every trial, everything i face is meant to happen, to teach and to test my limits. haha, it's a funny feeling. God exists if you believe so... and i choose to believe. so i carry on.  |
28th May 2011, 02:05 AM
|  | Presbyterian (PCA)
60       
 | | Join Date: 19th June 2009 Location: Chandler, Arizona
Posts: 4,413
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Reps: 266,041,718,120,753,952 (power: 266,041,718,120,761) | | NOTE TO OTHERS READING THIS THREAD: As stated here, only Christian Forum Chaplains or the original poster may respond to the opening post. Thanks!
You need to strengthen your walk of faith with daily Scripture study, prayer, fellowship with others, and regular assembly with others to worship God. Let other brothers and sisters in the faith help you with your burdens.
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( a.k.a., Patrick)
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Founder, Reformed Theology Institute
Administrative Staff/Faculty, The North American Reformed Seminary
I'm a Christian, catholic, Calvinist, confessional, Presbyterian (PCA).
Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell
in the midst of a people of unclean lips
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