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  #31  
Unread 25th May 2011, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Gilbert 61 View Post
As the title says, do feelings for someone ever actually go away or do we just replace them with someone else?
I think moving on is where the replacing happens. I think it happens in the way of just cause and affect. IOW, breakup happens, both go their separate ways, one or both get over that person, find someone new, falls in love. Cause and affect of the breakup. Can't avoid it being replaceable. If one doesn't want to be replaceable then make sure you do each other right, and are in genuine love because the probability is not that high to be replaceable as compared to being flighty with one another and doing each other wrong. Can't replace memories but if we weren't so replaceable then we wouldn't be able to find something good after a serious relationship ends.

In regards to the feelings, it depends on what types of feelings you are talking about.

I'll use my own self as an example. When I think about my exes, 'feelings' do come. They were a part of my life for a time. I hope they have a great life. I remember the problems, and some of them, the memories get me frustrated when I remember because I don't like that I have went through some of the things I have went through women and I don't like how I burned some women. I hope they have found a good man for them, maybe pop out some kids if they want and they live a productive life. I also remember the good times, and they make me feel good to know I have experienced some face of love. I had some good times with some good women and I have never had a crazy woman so I have good memories.

I do not have romantic feelings, or feelings of 'love' for any of my exes though. I would never get back with any of them. I wouldn't have a one night stand, or even a make out session. I don't even have feelings of 'close friendship'. The ones that have talked about being friends, they know to use me for a last resort to come to to talk or to not come to me at all. I figure my strong desire for them to be happy, and be productive, if they need to have thoughts from me to help them out, that is good enough. I don't pretend that I can have worthwhile friendships after romance has taken place(whether deeply or not so deep) and after major let downs and hurt come along and tear people apart from each other. Maybe others can do it, and hey if you can...then you can, but I can't and honestly? Don't really want to.

Secondary question. I am reading a book and there was an interesting quote. From a lady: "I didn't know that guys hurt like they do until I had sons of my own." what is your guys take on that?
Just shows how much females do not have a clue about us males when too many times, it is mostly talked from the flipped side. It may not be their fault, or the male's fault. More times than not, I do not believe it is the fault of females. It is the male's responsibility to be understood and the female's responsibility to be workable with trying to understand, just as it is the female's responsibility to be understood and the man's responsibility to be workable with trying to understand and if one can't do it, then don't cry about not being understood. We are different from one another.

Then sometimes, some females are willingly blind to understanding a man and only care about themselves and sometimes men are the same way as well.

Last edited by Im_A; 25th May 2011 at 04:31 PM.
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  #32  
Unread 25th May 2011, 07:20 PM
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Secondary question. I am reading a book and there was an interesting quote. From a lady: "I didn't know that guys hurt like they do until I had sons of my own." what is your guys take on that?
just realized I never responded to this one. I'm actually not sure why you're asking about this, or what you're trying to get at. Do you think most women don't understand that men have actual feelings and can feel hurt in regards to relationships ending? Most of the guys I know have very tender hearts, even if they try to hide it through bravado. But I know when they hurt, they really hurt. Its just silly to think they can't feel pain as powerfully as a woman can. It just generally gets expressed differently to the outside world.
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  #33  
Unread 25th May 2011, 07:44 PM
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Oh my I had to read this.. I am going through a divorce right now.. to 18 years of marriage.. and even though I know in my head it is over.. I love him.. It feels so strong it will never go away.. did others have to do something to help them let go?
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  #34  
Unread 25th May 2011, 10:10 PM
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No they don't. But they can weaken, which is weird at times. But hey, life does go on, and you develop feelings for other people, and hopefully those will be stronger than the previous.
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  #35  
Unread 25th May 2011, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by peacechild4 View Post
Oh my I had to read this.. I am going through a divorce right now.. to 18 years of marriage.. and even though I know in my head it is over.. I love him.. It feels so strong it will never go away.. did others have to do something to help them let go?
For me, lots of prayer and fasting. You allow yourself to not listen to yourself for awhile, depending solely on God's voice to strengthen you. That helped sooo much in my instance. Friends and family helped too. Keeping busy with doing things that make you happy. And when yoou need to, cry. Don't keep it in, but don't over do it.
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  #36  
Unread 25th May 2011, 11:12 PM
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Originally Posted by little_tigress View Post
just realized I never responded to this one. I'm actually not sure why you're asking about this, or what you're trying to get at. Do you think most women don't understand that men have actual feelings and can feel hurt in regards to relationships ending? Most of the guys I know have very tender hearts, even if they try to hide it through bravado. But I know when they hurt, they really hurt. Its just silly to think they can't feel pain as powerfully as a woman can. It just generally gets expressed differently to the outside world.
I'm not getting at anything. It was just intriguing, that's all. I had my own thoughts and wanted to others thoughts as well.
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  #37  
Unread 25th May 2011, 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Gilbert 61 View Post
I'm not getting at anything. It was just intriguing, that's all. I had my own thoughts and wanted to others thoughts as well.

ah gotcha. just seemed kind of like a random quote when talking about all this breakup stuff, so i wondered.
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  #38  
Unread 25th May 2011, 11:19 PM
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You may never completely get over someone, but you can move on. I've only truly liked one girl in my life, and she's married now. It can be easy to slip into "what if I did this" thoughts, but its not going to change where we're both at now. I wish her well, and I hope I can find someone that I honestly fall for again.

As for the second part of your original question, I guess she was saying that she didn't know how much some guys hide their emotions until her sons started spilling out their feelings to her.
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  #39  
Unread 26th May 2011, 12:09 AM
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Originally Posted by little_tigress View Post
ah gotcha. just seemed kind of like a random quote when talking about all this breakup stuff, so i wondered.
Understandable, I just didn't want to make two threads. Lol
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  #40  
Unread 26th May 2011, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by peacechild4 View Post
Oh my I had to read this.. I am going through a divorce right now.. to 18 years of marriage.. and even though I know in my head it is over.. I love him.. It feels so strong it will never go away.. did others have to do something to help them let go?
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