Home | Be a Christian | Devotionals | Join Us! | Forums | Rules | F.A.Q.


Go Back   Christian Forums > Congregation > Christian Communities > Wesley's Parish - Methodist/ Nazarene
Register BlogsPrayersJobsArcade Calendar Mark Forums Read

Wesley's Parish - Methodist/ Nazarene The forum for Methodist, Nazarene and similar denominations.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 13th April 2011, 08:30 PM
Chris81's Avatar
Servant to Christ

Gender: Male Faith: Methodist Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 3 Years
 
Join Date: 2nd June 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,780
Blessings: 20,890,734
My Mood Happy
Reps: 1,368,566,738,133,718,272 (power: 1,368,566,738,133,724)
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Methodist Jokes

Hey Everybody,

I think the Wesley's Parish could use some light hearted conversation and a good laugh. I intend to use this thread to share jokes that involve Methodists and invite y'all to do the same.

I will start the thread off with some jokes I found on the internet.

Several churches in the South decided to hold union services. The leader was a Baptist and proud of his denomination.
"How many Baptists are here?" he asked on the first night of the revival?
All except one little old lady raised their hands.
"Lady, what are you?" asked the leader.
"I'm a Methodist," meekly replied the lady.
"Why are you a Methodist?" queried the leader?
"Well," replied the little old lady, "my grandparents were Methodists, my mother was a Methodist, and my late husband was a Methodist."
"Well," retorted the leader, "just supposing all your relatives had been morons, what would that have made you?"
"Oh, I see. A Baptist, I suppose," the lady replied meekly.


Reply With Quote
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!

  #2  
Old 13th April 2011, 09:54 PM
Chris81's Avatar
Servant to Christ

Gender: Male Faith: Methodist Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 3 Years
 
Join Date: 2nd June 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,780
Blessings: 20,890,734
My Mood Happy
Reps: 1,368,566,738,133,718,272 (power: 1,368,566,738,133,724)
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Here is a joke that I have posted before on Christian Forums.

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 14th April 2011, 12:05 PM
Mr Dave's Avatar
God Save The Queen!

24 Gender: Male Faith: Methodist Country: United Kingdom Member For 4 Years Fisherman
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 2nd April 2010
Location: Sheffield
Posts: 7,255
Blessings: 405,665,721
My Mood Cool
Reps: 4,282,638,097,707,996,672 (power: 4,282,638,097,708,008)
Mr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond repute
Mr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond reputeMr Dave has a reputation beyond repute
There's a large ecumenical do, but so far only the Methodist minister, the Roman Catholic Priest and the Anglican vicar have turned up. Whilst they wait for the others to arrive, the priest strikes up a conversation to pass the time.

"How are your congregations looking these days, any good news at all?"

to which the vicar replies,

"Well yes as it happens, recently things have been slow but this week we had 4 new members join our congregation. It's excellent, we really think God's doing something great for our church. How our things with you back over at your church?"

"That's great to hear that you have four new members," replied the RC priest, "although I hate to say this now, but we're doing better than you, as like you we had several quiet months, but this last week have got 6 new members."

"6, wow that's excellent, and we thought we were doing well with four new members."

Both the priest and the vicar turn to the Methodist Minister who has kept fairly quiet,

"Sounds like God's really doing good things in both our churches, but you can't have had a better week than that, can you?"

"Well, as great as your news is, I'm afraid God seems to be working the most over in my church, this last week, I lost my 10 worst trouble makers"
__________________
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 14th April 2011, 12:21 PM
Maid Marie's Avatar
Zechariah 4:6

45 Gender: Female Faith: Nazarene Country: United States Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 1st December 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 3,260
Blessings: 102,915,508
My Mood Confused
Reps: 1,512,007,443,544,841,216 (power: 1,512,007,443,544,850)
Maid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond repute
Maid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond reputeMaid Marie has a reputation beyond repute
Originally Posted by Mr Dave View Post
There's a large ecumenical do, but so far only the Methodist minister, the Roman Catholic Priest and the Anglican vicar have turned up. Whilst they wait for the others to arrive, the priest strikes up a conversation to pass the time.

"How are your congregations looking these days, any good news at all?"

to which the vicar replies,

"Well yes as it happens, recently things have been slow but this week we had 4 new members join our congregation. It's excellent, we really think God's doing something great for our church. How our things with you back over at your church?"

"That's great to hear that you have four new members," replied the RC priest, "although I hate to say this now, but we're doing better than you, as like you we had several quiet months, but this last week have got 6 new members."

"6, wow that's excellent, and we thought we were doing well with four new members."

Both the priest and the vicar turn to the Methodist Minister who has kept fairly quiet,

"Sounds like God's really doing good things in both our churches, but you can't have had a better week than that, can you?"

"Well, as great as your news is, I'm afraid God seems to be working the most over in my church, this last week, I lost my 10 worst trouble makers"
Ooooooooooooooo
__________________
Pane Ježíši Kriste, Syne Boží, smiluj se nade mnou hříšným.
Let is snow! Let it snow!! Let it snow!!!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 14th April 2011, 10:25 PM
Chris81's Avatar
Servant to Christ

Gender: Male Faith: Methodist Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 3 Years
 
Join Date: 2nd June 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,780
Blessings: 20,890,734
My Mood Happy
Reps: 1,368,566,738,133,718,272 (power: 1,368,566,738,133,724)
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? The Methodist will tell you "howdy" when he sees you in the liquor store.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 14th April 2011, 10:31 PM
Chris81's Avatar
Servant to Christ

Gender: Male Faith: Methodist Party: US-Libertarian Country: United States Member For 3 Years
 
Join Date: 2nd June 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,780
Blessings: 20,890,734
My Mood Happy
Reps: 1,368,566,738,133,718,272 (power: 1,368,566,738,133,724)
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
Chris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond reputeChris81 has a reputation beyond repute
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

Mormons: Just one, after his wives have gotten on the school bus.

Amish: What's a light bulb?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 16th April 2011, 11:37 PM
JCFantasy23's Avatar
It's amazing what we take for granted
Angels Team

34 Gender: Female Faith: Methodist Country: United States Member For 5 Years Angels Team Pets Team Prayer Team Tentmaker
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 1st July 2008
Location: Lakeland, FL
Posts: 27,067
Blessings: 11,627,551,456
My Mood Blissful
Blog Entries: 23
Reps: 1,716,452,373,053,033,216 (power: 1,716,452,373,053,066)
JCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond repute
JCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond reputeJCFantasy23 has a reputation beyond repute
Originally Posted by Chris81 View Post
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

Mormons: Just one, after his wives have gotten on the school bus.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

I think this is my favorite of the group so far
__________________
Want to help others or the site?

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Please pray for my mother's gambling addiction

Reply With Quote
Reply


Return to Wesley's Parish - Methodist/ Nazarene

Thread Tools
Display Modes


 
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:05 PM.