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Christian Philosophy & Ethics The forum to discuss philosophy and ethics from a Christian perspective.

View Poll Results: Would using sex toys be a sin for single christians?
Absolutely! 14 35.00%
I don't know. 4 10.00%
I am married and have all I need. 1 2.50%
Not necessarily if you can do it without sinful thoughts. 6 15.00%
I think toys are fine why should only married christians be allowed to use them? 18 45.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 20th March 2011, 04:34 PM
curious

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Christian singles and sex?

Hi there,
I've been browsing the forum and reading some heated discussions about wether masturbation is allowed or not.
I wonder if masturbation is allowed and one's a single christian and let's say that normal masturbation became too boring over the years then would it be allowed for female singles to use vibrators and male singles to use devices such as a fleshlight or other vagina simulating toys? I know that the normal fleshlights look pretty gross because they look like real vaginas but there are also versions which are transparent or only have an inconspicuous slit. I also read that using a fleshlight can help controlling premature ejaculations. So let's say a christian single male struggles with premature ejaculation and doesn't want his possible future wife to be disappointed and then practices with his fleshlight would this be a sin if he was able to pull this off without having sexual things while watching TV or listening to music?
Or what if one's a christian male and probably will never get married but at the same time is tempted by the curiousity how having sex with a woman would be like then this temptation could also get him intro trouble for example if there ever was a chance of having sex with a woman like for example if a woman wants to seduce him.
Now if he could get rid of this "curiousity" by getting a device which mimicks a real vagina then he could try it this way without fornicating and then the curiousity would also be gone and maybe he'd even think "Doesn't even feel that good" and then he could move on and not be tempted by this nagging thoughts about how it would feel like. What do you think? I bet for those here who are married it's not that easy to imagine but imagine you're not married and also don't think you'll ever get married then it surely can be a drag to think that you might be missing out on something.
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  #2  
Old 20th March 2011, 07:22 PM
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this is quite a question...
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Old 20th March 2011, 07:33 PM
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Yeah, why should the marrieds have all the fun.
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  #4  
Old 20th March 2011, 08:19 PM
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Christians normally say that it is a sin to lust. If you agree with this it seems it would be hard to use these objects without sinning.

If it can be done without sinning then I see no reason to think it would be wrong

Would it hijack the thread if I asked if it was possible to lust after your wife/husband? I mean if you want to have sex for a reason other than reproduction isn't that lust with love? Does that make it ok?
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"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13
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  #5  
Old 21st March 2011, 11:55 AM
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In Mat. 5 Jesus was talking about adultery and said it once wasn't to look at a woman and lust after. ie commit adultery in his heart. Now this word lust isn't used in a good way and a bad way in scripture. Verses say Jesus lusted and good angels lusted.

Paul used this same Gr word to speak of the commandment not to covet ones neighbor's wife.

So I take it that Jesus is saying we aren't to desire to take our neighbor's wife as this would be the 1st step in actually committing adultery, ie taking another man's wife.

So we see lust isn't referring to thinking about sex as God must have thought a lot about sex as He planned creating us as sexual beings .. indeed all creatures. So this is why toys aren't a sin either.
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  #6  
Old 21st March 2011, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Idontlikeobama View Post
this is quite a question...
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  #7  
Old 21st March 2011, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by dayhiker View Post
. Verses say Jesus lusted and good angels lusted.
Where does it say that?
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"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13
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Old 22nd March 2011, 06:10 PM
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Well, the lust isn't sexual as we use the word today ...

Jesus desired to have the last supper with the disciples
and the good angels desire to understand our salvation.

Same Greek word. Quite a few people use this English word lust in such an absolute way based on one verse that they miss what Jesus is saying. So I like to broaden peoples understanding.
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Old 22nd March 2011, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Jim Bob View Post
So let's say a christian single male struggles with premature ejaculation and doesn't want his possible future wife to be disappointed and then practices with his fleshlight would this be a sin if he was able to pull this off without having sexual things while watching TV or listening to music?


What makes adultery and fornication wrong, I believe, are not the physical acts in total isolation. They are simply physical sensations neither good or bad.

What makes adultery and fornication wrong, I think, is the harm it does to others. Adultery can destroy marriages and families. Fornication can lead to unwanted pregnancy and the spoiling of an intimate bond.

Being so filled with lust that one's entire perspective becomes perverted is not good. If the very thing which you rely on to remain pure (sexual abstinence) is compounding the problem, then finding an proper outlet is preferable to burning: 1 Corinthians 7:9.

Someone without any prospect or wish for marriage, who does not wish to commit adultery nor fornication has only one possible outlet.

Masturbation as a physical act minus any inappropriate fantasy, harms nobody. It is not something you could do proudly (I would hope) in front of others, but either is defecation and other embarrassing realities of the body.

It doesn't harm the body in any way, unlike lies perpetuated by perverse people would lead the naive to believe. If anything, for the male it can have a beneficial flushing effect.

Of course the most important benefit is that it disarms temptation for worse things, and allows the single person to get on with some semblance of normal life.

Jim Bob raises another possible benefit. It allows one to exercise sexual function that might later benefit the marriage bed.

However, artificial devices that seek to replace the real thing, rather then alleviate, is maybe going too far. Nothing could replicate a real experience of sexual intimacy with another person.

Simply seek marriage if the thought of missing out on this aspect of life causes grief.
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Old 23rd March 2011, 06:44 PM
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Hello people!

I asked a friend of me who's christian and married about several things I read at a christian marriage forum where the users there discussed practices which I found odd and disturbing and what he thinks about that and he always said stuff like: Well, in marriage it's between the man and the woman and I cannot really think of anything in marriage which should be forbidden.

What!?! So basically it's like as long as you're married you can basically do ANYthing with your wife as long as she agrees even the most disturbing things but when you're a single then you mustn't even touch your penor and masturbate to release some steam. I don't know about you but this really upsets me.
I think this is totally hypocritical and I also do not think that it's that easy. If masturbation for singles is not allowed then why should God give a blanket license to married couples to do whatever they want to each other?
It really upsets me that he "cannot think of anything within marriage which could be forbidden" but at the same time he says masturbation is wrong. I can easily think of many things which even in marriage are highly controversial but simply saying that in marriage it's all about agreement and as long as they agree it's perfectly fine is a joke. It's really like once you're married you can play the swine in the bedroom and do whatever carnal thing there is as long as the wife also wants it but when you're a single then you have to be totally asexual and it would actually be better for you to castrate yourself so that you don't have any desires.
Seriously when I hear such things from married christians then it makes me really angry. They do not have such struggles and now they play the huge sexual purity advocates and tell single christians that masturbation is evil. That's like getting fitness advice from a guy who weighs 300 pounds. If they themselves had lived in perfect abstinence then I could accept their advice but who can do that?

Last edited by Mixolydian; 1st April 2011 at 08:13 PM. Reason: Thread clean up
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