Hi

I'm also thinking of you Lidija. I'm so glad you are able to go to church sometimes! Maybe it would be good to talk to your priest when you feel the time is right.

Lots of love to you.

I go to church today and talk priest about my problem. He give me number for women group at church and said he talk to them about how to help. He think they can help me get some idea to get out of industry. They meet tuesday morning so I go to next meeting.

Work have been stressing me. I get offer to dance in the new york city for club in time square. I likely turn down it just temp some because of money. I want get out not get more involved in dancing. Weekend tough at the club I have difficult costumer that being really aggressive with me. I scared and uncomfortable all rest of work from it.

Hope you have good weekend.

Lidija- Great that you got a chance to talk to your priest! I am really hopeful that they may come up with some good ideas to help you! It takes courage to reach out and I am so glad you did!

Hmmmm...yeah the thing in time square would probably just get you more involved as you suspect. I am glad that you are focused on getting out not getting more involved.

Sorry about the aggressive customer. I remember how hard that was to deal with those types. It's so not healthy to have to deal with that on a regular basis. I hope you are feeling better!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing!!!

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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."

I meet with women group today. I so nervous going i have no liking for speaking about myself in public. They make comfortable for me so it easier. We get plan together to try get me job and if I have move place to stay. They so nice I really happy about because I scared at first. They understand and not judge me it seem.

If I go Time square I know get me worse off. I talk with people from there and they only compliment my look and never mention personality. I ask several question they never answer. I think they think I stupid and just take job no question ask. I rather leave industry.

I better from customer just scare me. He grab me hard few time and it bring back feeling of that from past. I better now.

Hope you are doing well to!

I am so glad you went to the women's group today! Awesome! I am so glad that they made you feel comfortable and not judged! It would be great if they could help you find other work...and a place to stay if you need it!

I am so glad you see through the time square job! It's all about money and how much they can make from you. I am so glad you would rather leave the industry!!!

I am glad you are doing better. I so relate to being grabbed hard and having it trigger old feelings....Just another reason to be out of the industry and doing something that you feel good about!

Keep us posted to how you are okay?

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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."

Lidija!!! I am SO HAPPY for you that you went to the women's group! This is wonderful news. I hope you can go again, and that they can help you in whatever way you need. It's so good to have friends supporting you, just someone to talk to.

I'm still praying for you & especially for your safety in the club. Being scared like that is horrible.

Sorry not post in while. Little down these day. One bad day after another it seem at club. I usual get depression this time of year all my life. Seem worse though since start stripping. Hope get better when weather nice.

I may get new job soon. I talk with people at group I go to and they have interview for me with few jobs. I go after holiday to 3 different interview. I hope to get one job to like me. I not sure if they will english not as good as need to be has me afraid they won't like me.

Hope you all have good easter!

Lidija! Happy Easter to you too! I am sad to hear you are feeling depressed. I can imagine that stripping makes it harder. It's hard to keep a positive focus in the industry.

Good for you that you have three upcoming interviews! I will be praying for you. I love accents and maybe someone you apply with will too! You never know!

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing!

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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."

Hope you have good Easter Court! I feel sad because alone. I hate not know anyone feel trap sometime. Nothing for me in Ukraine but no future here either. When stripping I feel so sad yet nothing same time. One day get happy maybe. So many guys just on me at club. Touching, grabbing, saying thing I not want hear. I hurt so much still from kevin leave me.

I am encourage by having interview tomorrow. My stomach hurt I feel pressure to do well so much. Thank you for pray for me. Hope people love accents to. It would give much happiness if I get job. I want be able to respect myself again. I lose lot since start stripping.

How are you?

I am so sorry you were alone on Easter Lidija. I totally understand what you are saying about feeling trapped. I will pray for your interview! Really, really hope it goes well!

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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."