| Courting Couples A forum for dating, courting & engaged couples. |
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2nd March 2011, 12:00 AM
| | Contributor
  
| | Join Date: 14th September 2006
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Reps: 27,733,933,009,374,648 (power: 27,733,933,009,387) | | Originally Posted by AshleyLiz  Relationships can get very complicated in this day and age. I was so shy all through high school, that I could never seem to get a guy to even show a slight interest in me. However, when I met Jason, that all changed. I made a huge mistake that I regret to this day regarding dating. Jason was the first and has been the only man to ever ask me out on a date. My boyfriend Jason is a divorced 31 year old man with two young kids. I had a feeling going into the relationship that it might not work. Especially when he pressured me to get intimate 7 months into the relationship. However I finally gave in, and I made one of the biggest miskates of my life. I feel that because I was lonely, I was vulnerable and more willing to give that up. I would do anything to go back and change it, but unfortunately, you can't change the past.
Pfff, everyone makes mistakes. It's how we learn, and if it's something that you can walk away from at the end of the day, then you're doing alright. Besides, I'm pretty sure y'all get a free pass on mistakes.  |
2nd March 2011, 12:46 AM
| | Senior Member
  
| | Join Date: 7th January 2011
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Reps: 19,723,824,877,763,000 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by The Nihilist Pfff, everyone makes mistakes. It's how we learn, and if it's something that you can walk away from at the end of the day, then you're doing alright. Besides, I'm pretty sure y'all get a free pass on mistakes.
I guess the real mistake was allowing the relationship to drag on for 7 months without any progression. |
2nd March 2011, 12:54 AM
|  | Newbie
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Reps: 28,523,587,564,753,272 (power: 28,523,587,564,757) | | Originally Posted by highlife I guess the real mistake was allowing the relationship to drag on for 7 months without any progression.
Yeah that might be it.... either that or the part of her post where she said she got pressured into doing something she didn't want to do because she felt lonely and vulnerable. But you're right, the real mistake was trying to have a relationship that was free from physical lust before marriage. 
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2nd March 2011, 01:24 AM
| | Senior Member
| | Join Date: 7th January 2011
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Reps: 19,723,824,877,763,000 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by twins15 Yeah that might be it.... either that or the part of her post where she said she got pressured into doing something she didn't want to do because she felt lonely and vulnerable. But you're right, the real mistake was trying to have a relationship that was free from physical lust before marriage.
I think that having an unnaturally long engagement is the problem and then when things happen because the engagement is unnaturally long and you try to throw around biblical pricipals its a bastarization of scripture. The bible says that if you burn with passion you should marry not drag out dating. I agree that its his bad for pressuring her but he is not on here she is, her bad is continuing with the relationship if things were not progressing.
I disagree with the modern christian fads of prolonged dating and abnormally long engagements, your asking for problems when you do that because regardless of how much christians try to down play hormones they are very powerful and the sex is going to happen regardless of what propaganda you try to shove down someones throat, Gods design of our bodies trumps legalism.
Our society has taught us to beat around the bush on the most critical topics that should be discussed by a couple VERY early in the relationship (sex including specific sexual acts, money and kids). |
2nd March 2011, 08:59 AM
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I had idealy wanted to wait until I got married to have sex , but I know things happen for a reason. Jason and I are still together and have been for almost 3 years now and we are happy. That has to count for something.
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*~*Ashley*~* "Guilty of disgrace, but you took my place. So Jesus, I'll always stand for you." |
2nd March 2011, 09:30 AM
| | Contributor
| | Join Date: 14th September 2006
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Reps: 27,733,933,009,374,648 (power: 27,733,933,009,387) | | Originally Posted by AshleyLiz things happen for a reason.
Whoa, hold up. What? Do you really think that there's some higher theological purpose behind your decision to have sex? |
2nd March 2011, 09:38 AM
|  | I'm a Kings Daugther
26  
| | Join Date: 1st March 2011 Location: a village near Lucerne
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Reps: 64,290,925,451,893,360 (power: 64,290,925,451,896) | | | Does it matter or not? I can only speak for myself here. I grew up in a christian household but it took a long time until I had a real and personal relationship with my God.
When I was 18, I wasn't a believer and I had two relationships, one in which I slept with my boyfriend to please him and in one we only kissed. Back then even when my parents told me that having sex before marriage is not right in the eyes of god, I didn't believe them. Since I wasn't in a relationship with god, it didn't apply for my live.
After I finally let Jesus in my life I realised I was wrong and asked him for forgivness. He did forgave me and I'm not feeling bad for it anymore. So if I would have a boyfriend now, and he would tell me that he isn't a virgin anymore I wouldn't mind. Of course he would have to ask God for forgiveness AND change his ways, the way I did. I mean I'm in no position to judge my future boyfriend on that topic.
Beside that I think if I truly love someone and have the word from God that this person is the one he has made for me, how could end my relationship with him?
Oh there is something else. There is a book (unfortunately I don't know the title of the book in englisch), in which the authors write that you can pray for your future husband/boyfriend. I include my future husband already in my prayers and aks god to help me not to judge him, especialy if he is no virgin anymore. I also aks god to bless him and protect him from harm. |
2nd March 2011, 12:38 PM
|  | I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.
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| | Join Date: 21st December 2010 Location: England
Posts: 240
Blessings: 16,375
Reps: 10,326,574,679,518,780 (power: 10,326,574,679,521) | | | Being a virgin is more a dealbreaker for me than a guy not being a virgin.
Other dealbreakers include sleeping with other girls while with me who are uglier/fatter than me (if they're more attractive it's ok), abuse, being religious, being stupid, obesity, bad hygiene and playing World of Warcraft.
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2nd March 2011, 03:41 PM
| | Do you know the way to San Jose? Lalalala
 
| | Join Date: 9th December 2010
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Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | Originally Posted by Fatally.Yours Other dealbreakers include sleeping with other girls while with me who are uglier/fatter than me (if they're more attractive it's ok
Let me get this straight...
What you are saying is that you would end a relationship with someone you are seeing if he's cheating on you with "uglier/fatter" women, but you'd stay with him if he was cheating on you with women are "more attractive" than you? That's... an interesting insight.
And what, may I ask, is your issue with larger people? If you ask me, as far as women are concerned, I think most larger women are far more attractive than the pencil-thin, skin-and-bones, size zero, anorexic model type. |
3rd March 2011, 10:01 AM
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Nihilist, you are right on the money.  Like you said earlier, we all make mistakes, but I believe that God chooses to speak to us through the mistakes we make. By making mistakes and learning from them, we become better people.
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*~*Ashley*~* "Guilty of disgrace, but you took my place. So Jesus, I'll always stand for you." | | |
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