A few Moral stories from the Bible

benmaarof · #1 1st October 2010, 03:35 AM

Story 1
4 Kings 2:
[23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.

Moral of the story:
Don't make fun of bald people.

Story 2
Mark 11:
[12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
[14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.

Matthew 21
[18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
[19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]

Moral of the story
Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God

Story 3
Genesis 38
[8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
[9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
[10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing

Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, “Every sperm is sacred…”

Story 4
Numbers 22
[28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
[29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
[30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
[28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.

Moral of the story
Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)

Masihi · #2 1st October 2010, 07:27 AM

I find most of your moral conclusions not only false but disturbingly contrived from a negative mindset.

Originally Posted by benmaarof

Story 1
4 Kings 2:
[23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.

Moral of the story:
Don't make fun of bald people.

Elijah is not G*d but had the power of miracles in his arsenal to either bless or curse. This is more than I can say about muhammad who possessed no power of such (not counting human strength). Jesus, as G*d in the flesh, blessed people (as opposed to cursing) by healing and curing the blind.

Story 2
Mark 11:
[12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
[14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.

Matthew 21
[18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
[19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]

Moral of the story
Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God

I remember reading that hell is the destination for every muslim who dishonors islam's messiah. In the example cited, I see Jesus using a fruitless tree (as opposed to a human) to set an example for what happens to people who are fruitless (spiritual sense).

Story 3
Genesis 38
[8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
[9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
[10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing

Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, “Every sperm is sacred…”

I am not into movies and do not rely on movies as a fountain of validity but consider all of them fictional. Aside from this, the point was that Onan disobeyed the law which stipulated the need to continue the line of a deceased brother. That way, ALL of israel's descendents are assured land as their inheritence.

Story 4
Numbers 22
[28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
[29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
[30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
[28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.

Moral of the story
Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)

Again, I do not rely on fictional hollywood characters for obtaining any valid information. I think muhammad misunderstood donkeys with respect to this donkey because it spoke....

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "When you hear the crowing of cocks, ask for Allah's Blessings for (their crowing indicates that) they have seen an angel. And when you hear the braying of donkeys, seek refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan." Bukhari, Book 54, Hadith 522

Narrated 'Aisha: The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman (if they pass in front of the praying people)." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away. for I disliked to face him." Bukhari, Book 9, Hadith 490

So according to this, irrefutably, should you ever hear a dog bark while praying, your prayers were annuled. If a woman ever passes in front of you (even outside the mosque) while you are praying, your prayers were annulled. Irrefutable; must repeat prayers starting with ablution. I expect you concur and will follow.

Booko · #3 1st October 2010, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by benmaarof

Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, “Every sperm is sacred…”

And yet, in Jewish circles there's plenty of opinion that Onan was killed not for sperm-wasting, but because of disobedience. God ordered Onan to give Tamar a child, but instead Onan performed a bit of coitus interruptus.

A_maize · #4 1st October 2010, 02:43 PM

EDIT:Ah never mind, I guess mudslinging is common on both sides, including the outsider(other religion or Atheist or other) riding down on a high horse saying we're all messed up and delusional.

Harry3142 · #5 1st October 2010, 02:56 PM

benmaarof-

You forgot a quote: Harsh times make for harsh decisions.

Delphiki · #6 1st October 2010, 03:21 PM

I saw Ricky Gervais' comedy special lsst night on HBO. He did a bit on moral stories, which were pretty funny and had some truth to them.

For example, the story of the Boy Who Cried wolf. He briefly goes over the story. Boy is in the field with the sheep, cries wolf twice when there is no wolf. Then the day there is a wolf, he cries out and no one comes to save him. He says the moral is supposed to be "lying is bad", except the real moral is "don't tell the same lie twice"

salida · #7 1st October 2010, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by benmaarof

Story 1
4 Kings 2:
[23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.

Moral of the story:
Don't make fun of bald people.

Story 2
Mark 11:
[12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
[14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.

Matthew 21
[18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
[19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]

Moral of the story
Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God

Story 3
Genesis 38
[8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
[9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
[10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing

Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, “Every sperm is sacred…”

Story 4
Numbers 22
[28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
[29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
[30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
[28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.

Moral of the story
Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)

Is this suppose to be funny?
Ga 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Booko · #8 1st October 2010, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by NoeL-

Tell that to the Catholics! XD

LOL I have...I married into a Catholic family.

There's also some difference of opinion on why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Well, that happens when reading texts outside a cultural context, I guess.

Booko · #9 1st October 2010, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by A_maize

EDIT:Ah never mind, I guess mudslinging is common on both sides, including the outsider(other religion or Atheist or other) riding down on a high horse saying we're all messed up and delusional.

I wasn't thinking y'all were delusional. Or messed up.

There are "just war" theories in both religions, based on their texts, and I don't have a problem with that.

AlexBP · #10 1st October 2010, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Masihi

In the example cited, I see Jesus using a fruitless tree (as opposed to a human) to set an example for what happens to people who are fruitless (spiritual sense)

I often wondered whether the real message Jesus was trying to deliver there is that if you can't hold it in anymore, you should take out your frustrations on an inanimate obect. For the other stories, the moral seems to be that we should be glad that Jesus came, otherwise the world would still function much as it did in Old Testament times.