i have been married for 18 years and have 5 beautiful kids. my wife and i are regular attenders to church. my wife wants to leave me. we have had our problems through the years, nothing thats unfixable. early on it was me taking my wife for granite. over the past few years now i tried a career change that failed and have since had a terrible time finding consistant work. my wife works 2 jobs and we obviously struggle to make it. she is mentally fried and has grown to resent me. she now says that there is nothing left to try and fix. she is still here just not sure how long. she has also become friends with a single man at her second job. she claims just friends, but texting is daily. now my wife is an extrodinary woman when shes spiritually healthy and never quits anything. i love her more than words can describe, but nothing i say or try and do seems to help. i have told her i'm not giving up on her and have tried to put my pain aside to be at home for her. im scrambling to find a job to relieve her stress. i feel so powerless to save this marriage and have nobody to talk with. cant afford councelling, she wouldnt go right now anyway. praying earnestly for this situation, but kinda loosing myself.
I see you are new to this site, as am I. I am very happy that you are reaching out and sharing as you go through this tough time. I am not great at giving advice when it comes to situations like this but one thing I can do is pray and pray often for you. When I read this my mind went straight to a movie that I recently saw called Fireproof and the book Love Dare. I will pray that during this extremely difficult time that you can continue to trust in Him and seek His guidance.
Is she christian too? If so, just advice her to read the Bible. It would be better if you guys read it together. Keep reminding her how much you love her and show her your love through your actions. Show her how much you love your kids and how much they want you, not someone else, as their daddy. Hope everything works out fine. God bless you
__________________ "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me." - Mathew 5:11
A lot of people who claim to be open-minded are in fact the most close-minded people ever. I used to be one.
Your wife may have "The Grass is Greener" syndrome. I like the advice of watching the movie Fireproof and doing the Love/Dare book. All you can control is your actions. Fast and pray. Seek God's will. Ask others to pray whom you can trust in confidentiality. Talk to your pastor. Love her as best you can with God's help.
Most of all, never give up hope. My wife wasn't sure she still wanted to be married. I did all of the above and now we are on the path to restoration.
I am very sorry for what's going on with your marriage. As a married female, who have been married for 7 years, I can slightly relate with your wife. We are raised and taught to look to the man as the head and breadwinner. One of a wife's basic need is financial security. We may not marry for money, but we need the security from it. It is hard when the female is having to do most or all of the work. we go through a role displacement especially if there are children involved. Anyway, my husband and I went through this. For two years, my husband couldn't find work or keep one. I did most of the working, schooling, and was pregnant twice through it all. We had to relocate to live with his parents to get some help. At this point, both of us were unemployed and I was six months pregnant with our third child. He just got work last year november. Earlier this year, there was a fear that he was going to lose it, but God was merciful and they decided to keep him. The truth is, the thought of leaving him did come to mind, but I didn't. wanting to leave him had nothing to do with not loving him, I just wondered if it would make both of our lives easier. We are still livng with his parents with three children and now I am trying to find work. It is hard, but 18 years of marriage is worth fighting for, so keep fighting and praying and being there for her. Do what you can and leave the big things to God. He will surprise you. Our lives are not where it should be, but we somehow survived the nightmare of him not working. Also, my husband joined a temporary cash assistance program, which was helpful in bringing in money, but they helped him in job search until he got one.
Hope your situation has improved and that you have found employment. A marriage is team effort........sometimes as in your case itīs the woman who has a job so the man should take over the running of the home.
As a married woman, going through pretty much the same scenario your wife is...I would suggest you give her some space. That's what I want. No, don't move out or anything. Just don't try so hard. I'm not saying to give up on your marriage, but from where she's standing, she needs to feel confident in you again. This "friend" at work? Not a good sign. She's talking to him regularly, getting advice, getting friendship, and most likely, she's getting support. That's bad. He will be biased to her which she's craving.
You are in a bad spot for sure, but it's not hopeless. Try doing things you know she would like without drawing attention to it. Do chores around the house, cook her meals, clean the bathroom...stuff like that. Just BE THERE for her...but give her some emotional room to sort things out. I hope you get my meaning.
I know my answers don't seem very uplifting and hopeful, but I'm just telling you how I feel as a woman working with a husband at home. (there's more to it than that, but I don't have the same strong feelings for my hubby that I used to and I hope that changes. He's giving me space and time to work through this which is what I need.)
Good luck, I'll pray for you.
i really need you to have faith and believe nothing is going to happen to your marriage,in situations like this d last tin anyone would want to do is pray,but dats all u need now,god is faithful in doing all,pray and believe he would answer u,he did it 4 me,read power of a praying husband by stormie omartian.i need a testimony 4rm u soon.stay blessed