I feel drawn to Christianity, but I'm gay...

...and that's not going to change. I feel like the big thing that's pulling me away from Christianity I'm struggling to connect *Christians* with *Christ* (in the line of the Gandhi quote, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ"). It really bothers me that not only are so many Christians filled with such hatred and misunderstanding towards gays, they also are opposed to things that draw me the most to Christianity, like helping those in need (welfare, for example) and not judging others. I'm not stereotyping all Christians, and I know there are some that won't condemn me to Hell because of the way I was born, and that do support social assistance programs etc., but how can I be part of a religion where a majority of its followers think the way I live my life is sinful, and do not, in my opinion, follow the teachings of their religion's namesake (passages like Luke 18:25, John 8:7, Matthew 7:2, I Corinthians 13:13, and especially 1 John 3:11)?

So you are gay. You also are getting your chirsts mixed up. There are many, all decoys.

I never use the word christ, as that is just a title.

Jesus said it is Finished. Jesus completed His Act, The Father in Heaven then Completed His ACT.

Mark 15:38 and 2 other scriptures the Temple Curtain is Torn open.
The Means anyone can enter into the Temple.

So can a Gay man or Lesbian, walk into the Temple? Why not, it is open.

To your critics, Let's see them walk in.

The dark side creates so much static that creation can not see the Temple.

Go, It's open.

__________________
Mark 15:38 Enter into the Temple it is now open
to all.

If you draw close to God, while holding on to sin, you will be destroyed.

__________________
Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. -- Amos 3:7

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. -- Proverbs 25:11

Lets start this off as such. While we do disagree with the lifestyle of a homosexual (in the sense of practicing), we do not by any means hate homosexuals. They are people. God's very creation. We can proceed from here if you wish.

Although I don't agree with how some Christians treat homosexuals, I do agree that homosexuality is a sin. You can't successfully walk with God and still cling to that just like you can't successfully walk with Him while clinging to pornography or adultery.

__________________

No one can argue another into the kingdom of heaven. Only God can draw others to Himself.

I've got to say though- it isn't what you wish to hear- pursuing a homosexual love life is a sin within Orthodox Christianity. That will not change, regardless.

I am not qualified to judge you. I can't condemn you to hell, because none of us Orthodox will go around saying we're saved anyway. We have a different understanding of what hell is. We have a focus on working out our own salvation. I'm probably a bigger sinner than you, anyway. We're all sinners, actually. I struggle with my sins, and I must go to the hospital for what ails me (the Church) to take the medicine of immortality (the Eucharist). God will save whom He will save. We trust in His mercy.

I know a few gay people in my church. They're lovely people, but they are celibate. I don't consider it my business- it's between them and my priest- and afaik- they don't go around defining themselves with that particular label. Everyone has their own struggles in this life- we weren't promised an easy road in the least. I am not qualified to speak to your particular struggles.

Here's my testimony (for lack of a better word):
I don't consider what I went through to be a true deconversion. I had been a hard core believer for most of my life and never thought I'd change either. However, when it happened, it was enough for me to post a deconversion testimony on a website for former Christians.

It was heartbreaking for me and I really had a difficult time. I did go through my own dark night of the soul. At the same time, I was also overjoyed with not having to go to church anymore, as I truly lost all sense of church services etc. even being remotely useful or relevant to my life. It all seemed so pointless. I saw this huge disconnect between the Church that the New Testament spoke about and what I was seeing in the Pentecostal, Baptist, and independent Christian churches I had gone to every Sunday and Wednesday of my life.

I didn't consider going to those churches that were considered more 'liberal' because while social justice issues are important, I didn't see the point in calling themselves Christian if they were rejecting the fundamentals of the faith anyway. I figured I could be involved in helping others, be more honest with myself in the process, and sleep in on Sundays. Everything I had ever encountered in Christianity seemed to be well intentioned, but wrong somehow.

I began calling myself a deist, but I wasn't satisfied with that and started researching other religions and philosophies. I liked Taoism, but I honestly didn't see anything else that I considered worth my time to believe in. I couldn't call myself an atheist because I had a few experiences in my life that made me aware of a spiritual world out there. However, knowing this didn't make finding the truth an easy process, and skeptics had a lot of good questions that I began to examine as my own.

Long story short, I was a jaded and bitter individual. I felt I had good reason to be as I had a lot of negative religious/spiritual experiences. I understand where people are coming from who are angry, because I can relate to an extent. However, my bitterness began to turn into hatred of all things Christian, to the point where I started to see that I was becoming the sort of person I didn't want to be. I didn't like myself at all.

I didn't give up my search though. I read a lot. I sent desperate, pleading prayers out for God (if He even existed) to lead me to the truth. It was coming across Orthodox Christianity on the net that piqued my interest. I thought I knew everything about Christianity- enough to know that all the groups I was familiar with weren't going to cut it for me. I found the only Orthodox book at my local Barnes and Noble and bought the beat up and bent copy of it. I read it, I was cautious about it, I tried to dismiss it (but it kept coming to mind), and I eventually decided that I wanted to go visit an Orthodox church. (This wasn't my first time in an Orthodox Church, and in fact, I decided to visit the same church I had once visited when I was seventeen-roughly twelve years before- for a comparative religions class in college. It had fascinated me to the point it was all I could talk about for at least a week, but I had no desire in those days before the internet was more than a university thing, to look into the faith seriously at that time.)

If I recall correctly, I think it was the Orthodox teaching on hell that really swayed me. It’s not the same. I could never buy into the whole Jonathan Edwards’ Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God thing where God hates everyone and just specifically creates people to torment for eternity. It never rang true. However, reading about what the Orthodox Church believes regarding heaven and hell, it did ring true to me.

I was very reluctant to go back to any sort of church again. The first Sunday my husband (who was agnostic at the time) and I even turned around in the church parking lot and went out for coffee instead. However, we eventually made our way in for Divine Liturgy.

How does one explain to someone else about experiencing the presence of God? All I knew was that it wasn't simply my own emotions wreaking havoc with me- some things come from outside of ourselves- and people who know themselves well can discern this difference. (I was raised Pentecostal and I am rather immune to situations designed to manipulate emotions.) It was like being confronted with all of the answers to my questions after my long search. I knew I had to convert. God was there. Christ is in the Eucharist- which is something I had difficulty accepting as I was raised to accept a very different thing as being the truth- but have certainly experienced beyond a doubt since my Chrismation. Can I prove this to you? No. Were our personal experiences enough to prove it to me and my husband? Yes.

I essentially discovered a Christianity that is an entirely different religion from what I knew before. I had to start over again completely. I couldn't go back to what I thought I knew and believed. I just couldn't. There was something missing there, or I wouldn't have been unhappy enough to leave in the first place. We have the same holy scriptures and belief in the trinity, but everything else is radically different. I somehow knew it was my only chance when I discovered the Orthodox Church.

Except, I personally need the Church. I can't go it alone. I need the liturgy, I need the Eucharist, I need the prayers of the Church, and I especially need all of the sacraments of Christ's Holy Church . I need to go the hospital for what ails me; the ark of our salvation. I need the medicine of immortality.

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Troparion - Tone 4
Commanders of the heavenly hosts, we who are unworthy beseech you, by your prayers encompass us beneath the wings of your immaterial glory, and faithfully preserve us who fall down and cry to you: “Deliver us from all harm, for you are the commanders of the powers on high!”

Holy Archangel Michael, pray to God for me.

"Why do you increase your bonds? Take hold of your life before your light grows dark and you seek help and do not find it. This life has been given to you for repentance; do not waste it in vain pursuits."~St. Isaac the Syrian


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Jesus said, "Whosoever will may come and drink of The Waters of Life, freely." He wasn't kidding. Anyone can be saved. If you repent and call upon God to save you, in Jesus' Name, you can be saved. Whether you repeat your sins or not may just determine whether you gain eternal life or not. Those who seek God with their whole heart will find Him, but if you hold back, that which you hold back is your god.

__________________
Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. -- Amos 3:7

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. -- Proverbs 25:11

Hi, and welcome to CF!

We're all sinners; that hasn't prohibited us from becoming Christians. It appears to me the only real concern you have is that of identifying with something that as far as I can tell from Scripture -- is a sinful activity. I read through your posting abstracting "gay" to "sinner".

As Christians we are confronted with this issue again & again. None of us has "arrived". We're constantly being shown that the way we live our lives is not good, not perfect. "No one is good, but God alone." It's not the things that seem right to us, it's the things that are right that we''re turning toward. And it's not specifically the practice of sins, but a redemptive approach toward sins, that Christians and Jesus Himself engaged in. It's not acceptance of the sin, nor is it rejection of the sinner. It's redemption of the sinner away from sin.

Some people have got past the point where you're at. Some people are still there. I doubt we have anything other than compassion -- we've been there. And you may be there awhile. I appreciate the dilemma you're going through -- a couple of my friends are also gay.

Christ doesn't leave us because we're sinners. But "Christ came to put away sin." That dilemma is simply going to be there.

__________________
"... not an unconcerned sitting of God in heaven, from which He merely observes the things that are done in the world; but that all-active and all-concerned seatedness on His throne above, by which He governs the world which He Himself hath made." John Calvin
regeneration does not act in people as if they were blocks and stones; nor does it abolish the will and its properties or coerce a reluctant will by force, but spiritually revives, heals, reforms Canons of Dordt, 1.16


"Have I become your enemy by telling the truth?" Paul

If you do become Christian, don't be surprised if sin doesn't have the hold on your heart that it used to.

__________________
Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. -- Amos 3:7

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. -- Proverbs 25:11

Yep. I guess you can just delete this thread, as this is open only to Christians, and while I would like to consider myself a follower of Christ, I don't want to put myself among you who seem so sure I will "be destroyed." The Bible also condemns divorce, the eating of pork and shrimp, and says that men shouldn't sit on the same chairs as women who are menstruating. It instructs you to kill disobedient children. You choose not to follow those parts of the Bible; I choose to follow the parts of the Bible that include Jesus' teachings, about love, faith, charity, and hope, and hope that God, who made me the way I know I am, will help with the rest. But I don't want to consider myself as a Christian if it means I am among so many of you.