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Struggles with Sexuality A new forum open to ALL members who are struggling with sexuality issues (including homosexuality). All posts will be reviewed before being made public. NOTE: Only Christians are allowed to reply and offer support here.

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  #1  
Old 23rd May 2010, 05:47 PM
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Struggling with homosexuality

Well, to start, I am a 20 year old male, college student, and I was raised in a very Christian home since I was very young. However, ever since I can remember, I have always been attracted to the same sex. I can even remember being in fifth grade (when I first began to be attracted to other people my age) and being attracted to other boys in my class. I have gone out with girls before, still a virgin, but have never been as physically attracted to the opposite sex as I am towards the same sex. I am still somewhat addicted to porn, and it is only gay porn, which I know isn't helping the problem. The thing is, I DO NOT want to live like this! I have been able to conrtol my homosexual feelings before and even my porn addiction, and truly live a Godly life which I desire to have once again, but I feel that since I have such strong homosexual feelings, it is impossible to live a Godly life and still be attracted to men only.
I would like to know if anyone else has struggled with homosexuality like this and has been able to put those feelings aside to the point where you are living a Godly, hetero lifestyle? And if so, how did you do it?? I just want to know if these feelings can be "reversed," for lack of a better word, or at least suppressed. It feels like I was destined to be a raging homosexual! Someone please help! =(
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  #2  
Old 24th May 2010, 02:53 PM
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Hi brother, I understand your frustration and your wearing out patience. I go through the same thing ( you can check out my thread just afew topics underneath your's ). I'm just one year younger than you though, around the same anyway and I'm in college too
Try to listen to some positive music, try looking through more threads in this part of the forum, it'll make you feel better that you're not alone. I prayed for God to give you peace and assurance. Continue to connect with Him daily through His word and prayer and believe in the future He has intended for you, because He loves us and gives us obstacles not to harm us but to mold us and build us up! I think most changes if God intends are not the immediate type excluding certain cases. Personally I really feel some heterosexual tendencies coming back to before the homosexual issue. It's coming slow for me but I know He will bring me out of the darkness through the glimmer of light somewhere... I pray that you believe in the good things He wants you to achieve and become!
  #3  
Old 25th May 2010, 12:05 AM
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Hi Danny, thanks for sharing your struggle so openly. I'd recommend the book 'Desires In Conflict' by Joe Dallas:
Amazon.com: Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity…

(Yes I'm a woman and I've read a book that's subtitled 'Hope for Men Who Struggle With Sexual Identity'. I have a Christian friend that I consider like a brother who falls into this category, and for him I've done a lot of research/reading/talking to people who've struggled with this.)

Setting Captives Free also has a good (and free) online course about overcoming homosexuality. There are testimonies on that site from men who have been in your position, and they will match you up with a male mentor as you work through it. You can find it here:

Door of Hope - Setting Captives Free

I hope some of this is helpful. I'll pray for you!

Love in Christ,
Jess
  #4  
Old 25th May 2010, 10:17 AM
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I'm sorry you are struggling with this, brother.
I know how it feels.. I am homosexual and also have struggled with porn addiction. I don't know whether the feelings ever change... I got married in faith that God would change me. He hasn't yet, but I have been married for 19 years, have 4 children who are a huge blessing, and have been able to live with the fact that my desires are not really met.
I love my husband as a friend, there isn't any physical attraction, but I can live with that..

I hope that you can find peace with who you are and a way to live that honours God and allows you to be content. Praying for you
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  #5  
Old 25th May 2010, 11:01 AM
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Last edited by tjwallace2; 25th May 2010 at 09:37 PM. Reason: multiple posts
  #6  
Old 25th May 2010, 11:08 AM
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  #7  
Old 28th May 2010, 01:49 PM
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I really understand the frustration you must feel in this, and have a lack of words, just respect that you stay true to your faith. I said a prayer from the heart to you, and hope you find a place in life where you get rest from all that bothers you.
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Old 29th May 2010, 04:41 PM
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I totally understand how you feel. I've struggled with homosexuality for most of my life, and I lived a gay lifestyle until about six years ago, and through celibacy and self control, and of course a good solid relationship with God, I'm now Im able to live a good Christian lifestyle free of homosexuality.

Of Course Its not a 'hetero' lifestyle like you asked about. Like you, Ive never had any interest in the opposite sex either, and I honestly dont see any point in trying to be something that Im not. Besides, you dont have to be heterosexual to be free of homosexuality. Thats the last thing you should be worrying about. The important thing here is to get rid of the sin in your life, and all the problems you have, all the worries and concerns, just surrender it all to God, and keep him in the center of your life.

Remember God has a plan for you, and he has a reason for everything.
Ill pray for you!

Last edited by ZBehr; 30th May 2010 at 12:25 PM. Reason: spelling, grammar
  #9  
Old 29th May 2010, 04:50 PM
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.

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  #10  
Old 29th May 2010, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted by ZBehr View Post
...you dont have to be heterosexual to be free of homosexuality. Thats the last thing you should be worrying about. The important thing here is to get rid of the sin in your life, and all the problems you have, all the worries and concerns, just surrender it all to God, and keep him in the center of your life.
Amen! Very well said ZBehr, and I absolutely agree with you. Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom.
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