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Chronic Pain A new forum for chronic pain sufferers, including migraines.

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  #1  
Old 22nd April 2010, 02:55 AM
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When pain becomes too much.

I've suffered from CRPS, also known as RSD, but mine is systemic throughout most of my body.

I can only liken it to having irons on your body or go outside in below freezing weather naked and stay until you think your frozen burnt, but can never leave. It's also called the suicide disease. The skin becomes so hypersensitive for someone to breath on my skin would cause pain. Can't take showers, ect...

You fight for your life just to survive another day. There is little joy. Before it got me I had a nice home, business, wife and kids..we had the best life.

In time the business went as I tried to still work it. I should've went on disability a few years ago, but we lived off savings, hoping I would get better. I had a relapse that took me out. I couldn't even use my disability that I paid for because I didn't pay myself the last quarter...didn't know.

I wait for SS, but probably a few years the way it progresses in NC. My wife is disabled from 4 back operations, but gets around.

We've about lost everything. Next to go will be our home. Family buys us basic needs, but none have money. It was a terrible change, one I wasn't ready for at 41 when it started.

I have nights that I have cussed God and begged him to kill me. Like many with this illness I fight suicide, not wanting it, just no quality of life to want to live.

Even as bad as pain is nothing is worse than watching your family suffer so in poverty. You want to change it, but can't. Walls come up. My wife loves me, but I know she must be at her wits end dealing with this. She stresses everyday on just how we eat.

How do you that deal with pain make it with your loved ones. I'm to the point to let my wife go so she may could later find a better life and maybe it's just time for me to let go and move on.
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  #2  
Old 23rd April 2010, 05:19 AM
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I am so sorry you are facing all this on top of the pain.
I don't have any advice, but, I just wanted to say that your wife has stuck with you because she loves you... I suspect that she would be devastated if you 'let her go'.
Praying for you and your family.
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  #3  
Old 2nd May 2010, 07:27 AM
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If you don't have an SSI attorney you should seek one out...I am not sure how it works but I think they get paid by SSI if you have a ligit case and it can move the process along much faster.

There have been nights I have wished God would take me home but even though we can't do what we want for our families they love us and still need us...if we were to take our lives it would leave a huge amount of wreckage in their lives and I really don't want to have to explain to the Lord why I am early or worse, to not here "good and faithful servant, enter in". No one is sure how the sin of suicide would be looked upon by the Lord...He has promised us a new body to spend eternity with Him without pain. This life is short and hard but eternity....well...He will wipe away every tear.
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Old 4th May 2010, 11:34 PM
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so sorry for your pain. from a woman's side of chronic, deep seeded, debilitating pain, i understand how you feeling and the toll it takes on our lives, as well as those around us.

unable to type much tonight due to pain level....but my heart & prayers are with you and your family.
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  #5  
Old 5th May 2010, 12:48 PM
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I'm sorry to hear about your problem and your pain. I too have chronic pain--probably along the line of your wife (back surgery--spinal fusion--with more surgeries to come) I can't get out much and everything in our life has to be planned. Because of all of this we too have come to financial ruin (so to speak)...the only thing is we don't even own our home we rent and are just praising God we have a landlord that understands.
As I read your story it reminded me of Job. He could have told his wife to leave--go have a better life....but because your wife is still around...she loves you...I pray that you will be encouraged and see what God is going to do in your life. Surely He has something special for your life. I know I can give you all the same platitudes that people like to say... so I won't even though I truly believe them....but only you can come to that point about them.
As far as disability goes....try and go for it...get a lawyer (that is what I did) and in time (and it does take time) you should get it....I pray that God will work mightily on your behalf!
What about a church? Do you have a home church that could help you out?
I will pray for you
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I just read this quote in Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman

"Christianity doesn't deny the reality of suffering and evil. .....Our hope....is not based on the idea that we are going to be free of pain and suffering. Rather it is based on the conviction that we will triumph over suffering. ----Brennan Manning
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Old 11th November 2011, 10:20 PM
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I too like you feel the pain.

Hello I read you message and felt that I found someone that feels the same as me. I was sad that there is others that feel (RSD). The pain never gives you a break. You don't want to die, you just want a break. I stopped take medication some time ago to treat the pain as the side effects of the medications where not helpful. Didn't want to be drugged out of my mind. I tried many things to treat the pain. I too have begged God to stop the pain and been angry that it has not. Suicide is it or is me sticking around in pain every day selfish for others to think I should?
discouraged beyond words.
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Last edited by Peachiemom22; 12th November 2011 at 10:24 AM.
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  #7  
Old 12th November 2011, 08:59 AM
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I'm sorry that you are in pain. I have suffered from chronic pain myself so I know what it's like.

But your post is unintelligible. The way to use abbreviations goes like this I think: The first time you use one you bracket it after you've written the abbreviated words in full text. The next time you want to use those words in the same text you can just type the abbreviation, if you have already explained it, that is. But if you haven't then there's just no way that the reader can be sure to get your message.

I hope you get well soon.

P.S. I see at least four abbreviations that need to be explained.
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Old 12th November 2011, 10:17 AM
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When pain becomes too much

I guess I wasn't expecting a grammar lesson in response to my message.
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Old 12th November 2011, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Peachiemom22 View Post
I guess I wasn't expecting a grammar lesson in response to my message.
It's not a grammar lesson and it wasn't a response to your post, but to the first post in this thread.

I wrote it in this thread because the concern of the poster concerns me and interests me, but it appears to be a common problem. If you throw around acronyms frequently without explaining yourself then sure, indirectly you should also take it into consideration to change, I guess. By typing out just a few more characters, something that will only take you a few seconds at the most, you can save many minutes of time each for all the potential readers of your entries, who otherwise have to sift through a bunch of possible meanings for each acronym.

On the internet the time it takes for readers can be multiplied tens, hundreds or many thousands of times depending on where you're posting, but even if you only expect one reader, you can always save minutes for your neighbour by typing out just a few more characters.

I say it's worth it and that it can even be considered right to do so, morally as well as just functionally. If saving time for others doesn't make a difference to you, you can always try considering how it defeats the purpose of posting in the first place to write stuff that almost noone really understands, or stuff that's too much work for a lot of people to try to understand. A lot of people feel that they're inadequate when they see something they don't understand and just turn in the door to go somewhere else.

And as I said, I pointed it out here because I was interested in reading the post, but gave up. When you see way too many acronyms that you don't understand it really is too much work.
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  #10  
Old 12th November 2011, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Peachiemom22 View Post
I guess I wasn't expecting a grammar lesson in response to my message.
Hi,

I was in the military and we used a lot of acronyms. No one else knew what they meant LOL. I don't know what yours mean either and would like to know. I'm in chronic pain from a couple of things and am going to go to a pain clinic because frankly, I'm just plain tired of living with +10 pain (scale is usually 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst) much of the time.

Looking forward to reading this thread. God bless you and everyone here.
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