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  #1  
Old 11th April 2010, 03:26 PM
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Questions You'd ask a Married Couple

For premarital counseling my fiance and I are supposed to have dinner with and interview a married couple from our church. We've chosen ours and we're going over for dinner Tuesday. Our problem is we really don't know what questions to ask, this couple is very outgoing and we're pretty quite so it could be interesting. I'm not always good with making conversation with people I don't know all that well. I have maybe six or so that will work but I was just curious as to what some of you may ask a married couple.

We weren't give any guidelines and the couple said anything is fair game. So, if you were getting married what would you ask or even as a single person what type of marriage advice would you want.
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  #2  
Old 11th April 2010, 03:28 PM
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I don't know. But are you going to take record of y'alls conversation with the married couple? If so, is it going to be something like note taking or an audio recording?
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Old 11th April 2010, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Manda_24 View Post
For premarital counseling my fiance and I are supposed to have dinner with and interview a married couple from our church. We've chosen ours and we're going over for dinner Tuesday. Our problem is we really don't know what questions to ask, this couple is very outgoing and we're pretty quite so it could be interesting. I'm not always good with making conversation with people I don't know all that well. I have maybe six or so that will work but I was just curious as to what some of you may ask a married couple.

We weren't give any guidelines and the couple said anything is fair game. So, if you were getting married what would you ask or even as a single person what type of marriage advice would you want.
What a great opportunity. Congratulations btw.


Would probably not ask a whole lot of questions, but some things I'd want to know are:


1. How long have they been married?

2. How do they deal with difficult times?

2. What are some tricky spots that one might not see from the outside? (ie. What are some things that are not expected that one might want to be prepared for?)

3. Did they have doubts before the wedding?

4. Have there ever been moments when, in the marriage, they weren't sure if they'd married the right person? (could be very enlightening to find this out)

5. Do they feel love for each other everyday?

6. What steps do they take to make the marriage feel "alive" or "new" for them each day? (could vary from couple to couple, but it could give you some ideas)

Oh, also.. considering they are probably Christians:

7. How do they put God at the center of their relationship?
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Old 11th April 2010, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by trentlogain2 View Post
I don't know. But are you going to take record of y'alls conversation with the married couple? If so, is it going to be something like note taking or an audio recording?
I don't think we are, we really weren't given any directions. I think we may just discuss with our premarital counselor some things we talked about or things we learned.

Originally Posted by white dove View Post
What a great opportunity. Congratulations btw.


Would probably not ask a whole lot of questions, but some things I'd want to know are:
...
Thanks!
Yeah, I really don't want to ask a whole lot of questions, it's just not me to do something like this but whatever.



I guess I could post some that I came up with and maybe they'd branch other ideas or something.

1. how long have you been together (how long did you date, were engaged, and married)
2. what are some ways you communicate with your spouse?
3. are there couples you look up to, what do you respect about their marriages?
4. How do you resolve conflicts?
5. What do you see as strengths and weaknesses of your/in your marriage?
6. How has your marriage changed over the years?
7. How do you communicate love and appreciation to your spouse?
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  #5  
Old 11th April 2010, 03:46 PM
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Why have you stayed together for xx years? What helped?

What do you wish you would have done earlier in your relationship? Anything you didn't figure out until, say, 7-10 years in that you would recommend to a couple that is starting out?

What are some practical things for merging our lives that we can do now that you either did when you were engaged or would have done having learned life's lessons?
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  #6  
Old 11th April 2010, 03:46 PM
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Those are really good, Manda.
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Old 11th April 2010, 05:18 PM
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How do you handle finances?

What do you feel keeps you communicating effectively?

How do you fight? and how often?
What helps you to love the other person when you are mad at them?
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Old 12th April 2010, 11:47 AM
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Thanks so much everyone, those helped. I don't know how many were' supposed to ask or anything like that, I just wanted to have somewhat of a list for ideas. You guys came up with some that I didn't think of.
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Old 12th April 2010, 11:54 AM
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what do you do if you can't agree?
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Old 12th April 2010, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by white dove View Post
2. What are some tricky spots that one might not see from the outside? (ie. What are some things that are not expected that one might want to be prepared for?)
My question would be something like this ^ one: What do you wish you had known before you got married?

Or maybe... What is the best advice you received before you got married, that helped you through rough times or helped you prevent rough times? (sorry if this is a repeat, I don't recall seeing someone list this)
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