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Unread 8th April 2010, 10:44 PM
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Originally Posted by leothelioness View Post
I really, really, really do not understand this. Why is virginity mocked and made to be "lame" or some nonsense? What is so bad about having never had sex? Why is it something that must be "fixed" or "cured"? I really don't get it.

Rant over.
Are people really doing that to you? That sounds awful; why don't you tell me more about it over drinks?





(If someone doesn't get the joke, I will be happy to explain it over pm)
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Unread 8th April 2010, 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted by The Nihilist View Post
Are people really doing that to you? That sounds awful; why don't you tell me more about it over drinks?





(If someone doesn't get the joke, I will be happy to explain it over pm)
I get the joke.
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  #83  
Unread 8th April 2010, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Fenny the Fox View Post
When is virginity "mocked" outside of high schools and really really immature college age individuals?

And yes, I am a virgin. And it would seem, from my experience, no one even asks, no one seems to want to fix that. No one even cares - past high schoolers and drunk frat boy types.
I am glad this is more the case.

Korea is very different... I have met men who were in their twenties that admitted to be virgins.

I have only met and spoke with perhaps 5 women who even admitted to having had sex, and only one of them ever went into any form of detail about it.

I think, though, it is healthy for people to discuss sex honestly and frankly. It is important to dispel myths about it and to normalize it.

I wish there were more men who would tell the younger, ignorant men, 'I am 25 and I've only had sex with two different people, and I only had sex with them because I loved them. I do not think you get any value or macho points for having promiscuous sex.'

You get all these teenagers and college kids, and even guys into their twenties or even thirties, that still to some degree think that they must define their masculinity through sexual conquest.

That is unhealthy, unrealistic and something that can potentially make victims of a lot of people.

This mentality of sexual conquest has made a lot of people heartbroken and miserable. It has made words like "I love you" become irrelevant tools meant to simply get people in the sack.

People should be open and honest about sex, and those who have no desire to have sex with people they do not love should not be criticized as being 'less of men,' and those who simply want to have sex, well, vivre sa vie.

I regret moments when to prove my 'masculinity' I compromised my values, my morality and my integrity to have a pleasures of the flesh and get a "good job, buddy!" from older male role models.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
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  #84  
Unread 9th April 2010, 12:31 AM
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Originally Posted by leothelioness View Post
I really, really, really do not understand this. Why is virginity mocked and made to be "lame" or some nonsense? What is so bad about having never had sex? Why is it something that must be "fixed" or "cured"? I really don't get it.

Rant over.
I can't speak for women, obviously.

However, men see a virgin as either a potential trophy or (if there's no hope for the guy to get in her pants), they are often called a "tease", even when they are not.
Why? Because men, specifically many younger men, are pigs. Obviously, the men on this forum seem to be the exception to the rule ~cough cough~

Keep in mind, I'm a guy, so I'm speaking from experience, both my shameful own when I was a teenager and from the experience of others as Ive gotten older.

Regarding other guys, men will mock men for being virgins simply due to the fact that guys should be "studs" and "manly" and "active", 'cause that's what "guys do".

That's an overly simplistic explanation, but it's a fact regarding attitudes in the USA (I can't speak for other countries).
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  #85  
Unread 9th April 2010, 12:07 PM
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Agree

Originally Posted by Thunder Peel View Post
Society has idolized and worshipped sex to the point where it's on a mammoth pedestal that no other experience can top. Yes, I'm sure it's great and it's important in a marriage but there's so much more to life and relationships than just that aspect. Unfortunately people have elevated to the status of "end all, be all", including a lot of Christians.
This, especially the bolded part.

I lost my virginity 17 years ago and, after having had 5 intimate partners, including one for 8 years and the last one for 4.5 years, I've decided that cultivating a physical/emotional connection with another person as about as shallow, surface and superficial as it gets, because those are the two realms where most people get tripped up in one way or the other.

I am looking for relationships that involve a mental/spiritual connection, because I feel that those are the hardest to cultivate and maintain over a long period of time, and guys who want to be my friend, first and foremost and then, after a loong period of that, after he has proven that he's earned what it is I have to offer in the physical/emotional realm, then we could venture there. And I am not looking to get married, or to have kids - I prefer friendship because I am content with my life as a single person and the guy would have to guarantee me the sun, moon and stars for me to give up my single-hood to be a part of a couple in any sense.
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Unread 9th April 2010, 01:00 PM
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Agree

Originally Posted by Verv View Post
sex can inspire jealousy and confused emotions of all those involved. It can make them feel like tools, it can make them feel base.
Yep. I've been there on 3 out of the four ("base" being the odd one out). But, oooohhhhh, the climax feels soooooooooooooooo good that I stayed with it much longer than I should've with the last guy. And that one was the catalyst for my new mindset I wrote about in my previous post.
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Unread 30th May 2010, 10:20 PM
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The Catch-22 Single Christian Virgins Face by "the church"

.

Can someone share their thoughts on this 'Yahoo' question
that's about the incidents of mockery
(often done by some
'churchgoers'
) against some of the many "older" (i.e.
+30 & +40 year old / most definitely "not teen-aged"
)
Christians -- that (both) are (and that have also
chosen to remain) 'of-virgin-status-until-married'?


Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100530101949AAfhMrd

From what I have witnessed and observed -- it does,
sadly, seem that this type of thing is being reported
rather frequently by many very 'devoted Christians'
who say their biggest source of mockery, scorn, shock,
discouragement and even humiliation
(referring to
the reactions that they have received to their decision
to follow the commandment of the Bible and to, thus,
wait-until-marriage to engage in sexual activity
) tend
to come from the people of "the church"
(yes, even
the conservative, bible-believing, family-values-based,
abstinence-teaching churches
) and not from the people
of "the world"
(many of whom have expressed a 'respect'
for -- rather than any 'shock' at and / or 'suspicion'
regarding -- the devoted Christian person's decision
)

Meanwhile -- "the church" often places post-18 year old
single Christians
(but, especially those Christians that are
+30 or +40 years old)
in the position of facing the choice of ...

-- either --

1) 'condemnation' if they commit
'fornication' / 'are not still virgins'

-- or --

2) 'ridicule' if they do not commit
'fornication' / 'are still virgins'


Whatever happened to obeying the Word of God as well
as edifying and encouraging one another in all godliness
--- and what kind of example is that for "the church"
to set for the younger-generation of Christians?


.

Last edited by CuriousCTcat; 30th May 2010 at 10:31 PM.
  #88  
Unread 30th May 2010, 11:51 PM
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I don't think it's so much the virginity part, it's more to do with the attitude that seems to come with it, alot as has been mentioned seem to treat virginity as if they are some how above others, better. Along with alot of other such things we tend to find.
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Unread 31st May 2010, 12:03 AM
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Originally Posted by CuriousCTcat View Post
.

Can someone share their thoughts on this 'Yahoo' question
that's about the incidents of mockery (often done by some
'churchgoers') against some of the many "older" (i.e.
+30 & +40 year old / most definitely "not teen-aged")
Christians -- that (both) are (and that have also
chosen to remain) 'of-virgin-status-until-married'?

Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

Why do "christians" TELL PEOPLE TO “REMAIN-VIRGINS-until-marriage” – BUT -- THEN MOCK THEM FOR DOING SO? - Yahoo! Answers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100530101949AAfhMrd

From what I have witnessed and observed -- it does,
sadly, seem that this type of thing is being reported
rather frequently by many very 'devoted Christians'
who say their biggest source of mockery, scorn, shock,
discouragement and even humiliation (referring to
the reactions that they have received to their decision
to follow the commandment of the Bible and to, thus,
wait-until-marriage to engage in sexual activity) tend
to come from the people of "the church" (yes, even
the conservative, bible-believing, family-values-based,
abstinence-teaching churches) and not from the people
of "the world" (many of whom have expressed a 'respect'
for -- rather than any 'shock' at and / or 'suspicion'
regarding -- the devoted Christian person's decision)

Meanwhile -- "the church" often places post-18 year old
single Christians(but, especially those Christians that are
+30 or +40 years old) in the position of facing the choice of ...

-- either --

1) 'condemnation' if they commit
'fornication' / 'are not still virgins'

-- or --

2) 'ridicule' if they do not commit
'fornication' / 'are still virgins'

Whatever happened to obeying the Word of God as well
as edifying and encouraging one another in all godliness
--- and what kind of example is that for "the church"
to set for the younger-generation of Christians?

.
Personally, I've witnessed the opposite. Within the church, virgins are more accepted and in the secular world it's treated like a disease of some sort.
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  #90  
Unread 31st May 2010, 12:20 AM
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Originally Posted by leothelioness View Post
Personally, I've witnessed the opposite. Within the church, virgins are more accepted and in the secular world it's treated like a disease of some sort.
Didn't you know Secularism is a STD you can only get if you have sex before marriage :>
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