Hi, I was brought up by my mum in Christian household, but stopped going to church when I was about 14-15 and turned my back on God I suppose. I was baptised as a baby and gave my heart to the Lord at about 13, but I guess I became a 'party' teenager and didn't really think much about God at the time. Although I know deep down in everything I did, I knew it wasn't the right thing and what God would think of me was always in the corner of my mind. I think my strained relationship with my mu didn't help. I think the way she was, it was like you will do just do as I say because I say so. I don't think I ever had a relationship with God, it was like it was forced upon me because I was the kid and I had to do as I was told. The relationship with my mum never got much better, she can be very judgemental and things always have to be her way, if you don't agree with her then you are always wrong and made to feel like a terrible person. I haven't spoken to her in about a year, there was a few issues with my children and her and we no longer speak. My children are actually scared of her and the way she is, it's not healthy to have her in my family's life. Now I have forgiven her for the things she has done but as she is my mother, do I have to have her in my life, if its not a good thing? It's not a matter of trying to heal the relationship, this has been going on for as long as I can remember, until it has gotten to the point now, where we do not speak and nothing ever changes as she doesn't think she has done anything wrong. I don't believe that I can have her in my life. I guess I need to know about this from a Christian point of view. Is it ok to not have a person a part of your life any more, with good reason, if that person is your mother? Also, as I said before I had turned away from God, although he has always been in my heart and I know that I need to turn back to him. I started reading my bible again a few months ago, praying and asking God to guide me back to him. My partner doesn't come from a Christian or any type of religious family, ad although he knows my beliefs and that I have starting reading the bible again and praying, he doesn't know anything about the Lord but he does believe in him. I guess I'm scared that i cant teach my family about God when I don't know enough myself and I wont be able to save them. The ways the world is at the moment and it's only going to get worse, I know I need to turn back to God and also bring my family to him as well. Any advice please? Thanks you.
Well, have a look at the following scripture quote:
(Mar 10:6)But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
(Mar 10:7)For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
(Mar 10:8)And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
(Mar 10:9)What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
To me, that means this. Once you're married, the family has no right to interfere. Period. (As per Mark 10:9). So, you have absolutely no duty to include anybody else in your life as a married couple. Don't let people lay a guilt trip on you - it's unbiblical hogwash to expect a married man/wife to cling to their parents.
If the children are very young get a child's BIBLE. As they mature bring them up to your BIBLE.
In this case I am not going to advise you on just what to do. In reading your post it appears to me that you are heading back in the right direction and if you continue up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD I have little doubt you shall know exactly what to do and why.
Remember you need GOD'S WORD working in your life. Read and reread the NEW TESTIMENT until the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then IT'S locked in your heart to draw from the rest of your life. You will never be sorry you did. This is GOD'S ROADMAP given to us so that we are able to walk up that path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD.
Then there are some very important BOOKS that are not stories that contain GOD'S WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING that can help us up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD:
Read from the books of the Apocrypha as soon as possible. They will address the problem you face now and for a lifetime.
Start reading:
SIRACH, WISDOM, PROVERBS, ECCLESIASTES
These BOOKS can make a real difference in your life.
The relationship with my mum never got much better, she can be very judgemental and things always have to be her way, if you don't agree with her then you are always wrong and made to feel like a terrible person. I haven't spoken to her in about a year, there was a few issues with my children and her and we no longer speak. My children are actually scared of her and the way she is, it's not healthy to have her in my family's life. Now I have forgiven her for the things she has done but as she is my mother, do I have to have her in my life, if its not a good thing? It's not a matter of trying to heal the relationship, this has been going on for as long as I can remember, until it has gotten to the point now, where we do not speak and nothing ever changes as she doesn't think she has done anything wrong. I don't believe that I can have her in my life. I guess I need to know about this from a Christian point of view. Is it ok to not have a person a part of your life any more, with good reason, if that person is your mother? Also, as I said before I had turned away from God, although he has always been in my heart and I know that I need to turn back to him. I started reading my bible again a few months ago, praying and asking God to guide me back to him. My partner doesn't come from a Christian or any type of religious family, ad although he knows my beliefs and that I have starting reading the bible again and praying, he doesn't know anything about the Lord but he does believe in him. I guess I'm scared that i cant teach my family about God when I don't know enough myself and I wont be able to save them. The ways the world is at the moment and it's only going to get worse, I know I need to turn back to God and also bring my family to him as well. Any advice please? Thanks you.
I had the same problem with my Dad who is now 85y.o., stubborn and set in his ways, he will never change now (but I pray for him). Years ago I tried to evangelize him and straighten him out. That never worked out very well. He had a way of making me his scapegoat for every problem of his. Finally, he told me several times to not make contact with him. As a christian, I have to honor his request since he is my father. The sad part? He is not reaping the rewards of fatherhood. If he requested I assist him in financial matters, I would have to honor that too.
Advice? You see my situation so take it for what it is worth. I would respect my parents' requests but if within moral reason.
Then there are some very important BOOKS that are not stories that contain GOD'S WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING that can help us up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD:
Read from the books of the Apocrypha as soon as possible. They will address the problem you face now and for a lifetime.
Start reading:
SIRACH, WISDOM, PROVERBS, ECCLESIASTES
These BOOKS can make a real difference in your life.
What material within these books are you referring to when you say it would help?
What material within these books are you referring to when you say it would help?
These BOOKS in GOD'S WORD brings us HIS WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING of life so that we can enjoy the riches GOD has for us and gives us the GUIDE that we need to grow to maturity in our walk up GOD'S PATH to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD. They answer questions that are not found in any other part of the BIBLE.
These BOOKS are not long. There is no shortcut to locking HIS WORD in your heart. So it would be impossible to give you all the material that would help you. This help will come now and for the rest of your life.
Concerning the issue with your mother: I think it is good that you are working to forgive her and have made an honest attempt to reconcile the relationship. I think that is probably all you can do, especially if the other person is not willing to do their share of the work to repair the relationship from their end.
Also, remember you are a free person and do not have to have anyone in your life that you do not want in it; if you have made an honest attempt, an attempt that you can live with, to repair the relationship and are open to the chance that the other person might come around in the future through their own soul searching then I would say that you are good to go. What else can you do?
Don't forget that it takes two to make any relationship work and also that you are the daughter and she is the mother, she is supposed to be the primary caregiver just as you are your own children's primary caregiver. Would you expect your children to be your primary emotional support? Is that really fair to burden them with that role? Of course not. You know that even when you are old, and maybe your children are taking care of your physical needs, that you will be their emotional refuge and bastion. That is what your mother is supposed to be to you as well.
It is very difficult to come to know God as our Father when our parents failed us as role models. You have your own children that you love terribly and you would do anything for them I'm sure. So, just imagine how much more God, who is infinite and created your own soul, loves you...and your children and your mother for that matter as well.
For your ongoing spiritual development I would suggest, as someone did to me once, meditating on the Lord's prayer and seeking the many hidden meanings of each of its petitions.
I guess I'm scared that i cant teach my family about God when I don't know enough myself and I wont be able to save them.
You don't have to "save them"... only God can do that. Depending on their ages, they may not be mature enough to fully commit their lives to God right now. What you should be looking to do is provide a foundation in the Bible that will hopefully grow into that commitment. If they do fall away from God as you did, it will plant a seed that they can return to later.
As others have said, get them Children's bibles that matches their age(s), and see if you can find some type of bible school or religious education program. Maybe you can all learn together!
__________________ "A positive religious faith does not offer an illusion that we shall be exempt from pain and suffering... Rather it instills us with the inner equilibrium needed to face strains, burdens, and fears that inevitably come." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Almost every heresy that has afflicted the church through the years has arisen from believing about God things that are not true, or from overemphasizing certain true things so as to obscure other things equally true." -A.W. Tozer
Dear emsquichi. As we get older we realise that there is more to life than it often seems. You feel that you would like to draw nearer to God.? Jesus gave us 2 Commandments, 1) love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. That is straightforward, God made us in His image, and God loves us, and God wants us back again. 2) Love your neighbour, all others, people we know or meet. That is not too easy, but can be done. We start by treating all men and women, ( your mother included ) As We would like to be treated. Jesus died that we might live, Jesus reconciled us to God, Jesus is our Saviour, our Help and Guide. It is also good to remember that there is God`s Holy Law, it stands forever, and will reward all good deeds, ALSO we will reap fitting consequences. We all have heard " what we sow, we will reap," It is God`s way of teaching us. We are on Earth to learn to love God, and love each other, with a selfless and benevolent love. St. Paul describes it in 1) Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4 - 8. I say this humbly and with love, emsquichi. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
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