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  #21  
Unread 19th December 2009, 09:12 AM
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Everyone has already said all the good stuff. There are TONS of women who don't list money as being important. There are much more important things. Just be who you are and look for a woman who loves you for who you are without any expectations beyond that.
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  #22  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by SonicBOOM
I do believe men are to be the spiritual head.... but I think the keyword here is "spiritual". What I believe this means is regarding the things of God. I'm not gonna say that this doesn't at least somewhat include money and the like [sense God is a part of all of life] ..... but it was never meant to be the primary concern
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel. This definitely means financially, but I believe it also applies spiritually and emotionally.

I don't think the woman should have the burden of providing financially for the family. I believe biblically, that is the man's role. She can help, of course (Proverbs 31 woman), but honestly I think the man needs to be in a financially stable enough place where she can stay busy in the home, and rear the children, and not give that role over to someone else (day care, babysitters, grandma, etc).

I will honestly tell you, that any good woman does not care about the figure you make. But if you are making 15K working at McDonald's, obviously I am not going to date you, because dating leads to marriage, marriage leads to babies, and you cannot raise a baby on 15K. See the immediate connection? It's a stretch, but it's how a lot of us women think. We never, ever said you have to make exactly $150,500 a year. No one worth being with has a figure in their mind, except one that you can raise a family on.
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  #23  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Sunset2009 View Post
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel. This definitely means financially, but I believe it also applies spiritually and emotionally.
I'm not sure I know what scripture you are refering to - can you provide it, please?

I don't think the woman should have the burden of providing financially for the family. I believe biblically, that is the man's role. She can help, of course (Proverbs 31 woman), but honestly I think the man needs to be in a financially stable enough place where she can stay busy in the home, and rear the children, and not give that role over to someone else (day care, babysitters, grandma, etc).
This is ideal, I agree. But, it is not always possible. I have been on both sides of the argument and don't think - especially in this economy - that the woman staying at home should be a given in a marriage, but a blessing/luxury. It may involve a lot of sacrifice to make it happen, but it is still doable in a lot of cases.

I will honestly tell you, that any good woman does not care about the figure you make. But if you are making 15K working at McDonald's, obviously I am not going to date you, because dating leads to marriage, marriage leads to babies, and you cannot raise a baby on 15K. See the immediate connection? It's a stretch, but it's how a lot of us women think. We never, ever said you have to make exactly $150,500 a year. No one worth being with has a figure in their mind, except one that you can raise a family on.
You kind of contradict yourself, here. lol My take on this is that it would depend on the person's age, the circumstances surrounding their employment (are they a full-time student? did they get laid off from a better paying job and took a lower paying job until something more lucrative comes along, etc.).

I'm pretty sure I'm worth being with and I am actually the breadwinner in my marriage at the moment. My husband is a full-time student and is out of work on disability due to a back injury at work (which, btw - his boss just fired him this week).

I think anyone worth being with is going to embrace the "for better or worse, richer or poorer" part of the marriage vows and understand that sometimes sacrifices are made, roles are reversed, ideals are not reality, etc.

That said, the person that is right for you (you, general - not you, personally) will have the same or a similar mindset. So, it all works out in the end, IMO.
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  #24  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by flnativegrl View Post
I'm not sure I know what scripture you are refering to - can you provide it, please?
1 Tim. 5:8

Originally Posted by flnativegrl
This is ideal, I agree. But, it is not always possible. I have been on both sides of the argument and don't think - especially in this economy - that the woman staying at home should be a given in a marriage, but a blessing/luxury. It may involve a lot of sacrifice to make it happen, but it is still doable in a lot of cases.
Yep.
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  #25  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Sunset2009 View Post
1 Tim. 5:8
Ahh, OK. That is a passage that is talking about widows and taking care of widows in your family if they have no one else that can care for them.

In context, it's probably more a cultural statement of the times than a commandment to men that they have to provide so that his wife can be a SAHM.
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  #26  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:36 PM
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It is actually referring to immediate family members.
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  #27  
Unread 19th December 2009, 12:54 PM
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I just found this commentary - which I think does a good job of explaining the passage. It says that anyone - man or woman - who spends their money on "lusts and pleasures" (read frivolous/materialistic things) rather than providing for their immediate family - which includes extended family, such as widows - then they are denying their faith and are worse than infidels.

To say that a man who cannot earn enough money for his wife to be a SAHM is denying his faith and worse than an infidel is an unfair and inaccurate statement - even citing that passage. To deny dating someone b/c you don't see them as able to provide enough for the wife is a personal conviction, not a biblical instruction.
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  #28  
Unread 19th December 2009, 01:00 PM
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blind post.

money isn't that big of a deal breaker. worst case scenario if i married a guy who wasn't making a lot of money, i'd have to keep working and I really wouldn't mind that. I mean i'm working towards a career right now, it wouldn't be a terrible thing to have to use my education to get a job

my deal breaker is more about how a guy handles the money he does earn. If he's more interested in buying video/computer games than paying for gas for the car or groceries or paying the bills thats going to be a serious problem. If he's esponsible with his money then I can respect him.
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  #29  
Unread 19th December 2009, 01:24 PM
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Good catch Flnativegrl. 1 Timothy 5:8 speaks to widows and elders. Nonetheless, Sunset2009 mentioned the key point here by stating it "also applies spiritually and emotionally"

Look at these excerpts from Matthew 6:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth...For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...

No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money...

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Originally Posted by flnativegrl
That said, the person that is right for you (you, general - not you, personally) will have the same or a similar mindset. So, it all works out in the end, IMO.
I believe Flnativegrl sums it up very well here. If the priorities and focus on God are not harmonious in a relationship, there is a tendency to feel slighted and under-appreciated. Financial strife is still the #1 cause of divorce and that's so disheartening. I think what happens in these relationships is one or the other (or neither) are not walking with God so they're pulling out of each other. They feel incomplete and overwhelmed with a destructive sense of vindication. "I'm doing this, and you're not doing that." I'm making this, and you're not making that." Conversely, when both are walking with God and in fellowship with Him, the inclination is to simply love the other person unconditionally. You want to pour into them and serve them. In this kind of relationship, God will always show favor and provide blessings.
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  #30  
Unread 19th December 2009, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by flnativegrl View Post
I just found this commentary - which I think does a good job of explaining the passage. It says that anyone - man or woman - who spends their money on "lusts and pleasures" (read frivolous/materialistic things) rather than providing for their immediate family - which includes extended family, such as widows - then they are denying their faith and are worse than infidels.
Not really. "But if any provide not for his own" might be referring specifically to children taking care of their widowed mother, but "And especially those of his own house," (or kindred) means those that live in his family.

Originally Posted by flnativegrl
To say that a man who cannot earn enough money for his wife to be a SAHM is denying his faith and worse than an infidel is an unfair and inaccurate statement - even citing that passage. To deny dating someone b/c you don't see them as able to provide enough for the wife is a personal conviction, not a biblical instruction.
A man should be able to provide for his home, financially, spiritually, emotionally. Throughout Scripture, the Bible never instructs the woman to work as it instructs of the man.
__________________
I've grown tired of chasing
Convinced I was in need
And now the years I've spent, only a slave to this
Tomorrow may fall
And today is already gone
I will no longer adore
These things that will never satisfy me
(As I Lay Dying)
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