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  #1  
Unread 19th December 2009, 01:47 AM
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Older woman younger man courtship in Christian perspective

I see opinions/studies and what not about guys dating women way older than them in the secular perspective.

I want to know more about this topic in a Christian perspective. What does the bible say about it?

I learned to love with not only my heart but with my brain as well after I had a painful break up a couple of years ago. I never tried to go out with girls who drink nor smoke nor curse. It's not that I condemn them (in fact I have a lot of friends who aren't saved), but I try to walk a Christian life.

But I recently developed this strong freaking feelings for this woman at church who is 9 years older than me. It's annoying because I have a million reasons not to ask her out, but I'm having a hard time killing these feelings.

Your feedbacks would be greatly appreciated.

P.S.

I sure hope she doesn't find this thread and happens to know who/what I'm talking about. That "9 years difference" above gave it all away.
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  #2  
Unread 19th December 2009, 07:27 AM
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Not much in scripture ...

So .. in scripture we have Boaz marrying Ruth (see book of Ruth), who is very likely a full generation younger. I can't think of many others, but there is absolutely no prohibition on this kind of thing either.

That said, the life experiences of a much older person can make that person quite incompatible with a younger one. The patience required on both sides can be enormous.

But 9 years difference? I wouldn't worry about that at all. I know fabulously happy Christian couples with 20 years difference or more.

Hope this helps.
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  #3  
Unread 19th December 2009, 10:28 AM
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I don't think the Bible has anything bad to say about that sort of relationship.

A nine year difference isn't a huge gap. If you like her, I think you should ask her out. :]
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  #4  
Unread 19th December 2009, 11:46 AM
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You're both adults. If you're both compatible, then there is no issue. A nine year age gap is no big deal.

I happen to know more than a few married couples that have slightly larger age gaps and they seemed to have happy marriages.
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  #5  
Unread 19th December 2009, 04:15 PM
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Agreed. Scripture says nothing condemning or encouraging age gaps . . . where they occur in Scripture, there is not even a nuance provided. Age gaps are as much a sin as prefering once kind of pie over another, chocolate is NOT more Godly that blueberry banana creme, no matter how much the peopel who prefer chocolate might argue. At the end of the day it is preference utterly outside the span of things God wanted to ordain, it is an area to exercise that free will in.
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  #6  
Unread 19th December 2009, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Scroll View Post
I see opinions/studies and what not about guys dating women way older than them in the secular perspective.

I want to know more about this topic in a Christian perspective. What does the bible say about it?

I learned to love with not only my heart but with my brain as well after I had a painful break up a couple of years ago. I never tried to go out with girls who drink nor smoke nor curse. It's not that I condemn them (in fact I have a lot of friends who aren't saved), but I try to walk a Christian life.

But I recently developed this strong freaking feelings for this woman at church who is 9 years older than me. It's annoying because I have a million reasons not to ask her out, but I'm having a hard time killing these feelings.

Your feedbacks would be greatly appreciated.

P.S.

I sure hope she doesn't find this thread and happens to know who/what I'm talking about. That "9 years difference" above gave it all away.
Your P.S. is the key issue, not the 9 year age difference, though that will come into play at some point if you choose to pursue this woman.

You're a bull in a china shop--tread very carefully here. Start slow with group gatherings (Bible studies, church group outings, etc.) and find out what you can about her. A woman 9 years older than you may have complications in her life that prohibit the relationship you are looking for. Get to know this lady as a person before asking her out.

Use the group outings to strike up conversations afterwards. When/if it feels right, ask her out for coffee or perhaps lunch after church.

I'm guessing you're in the 18-25 demographic. Nine years is pretty huge gap, but not insurmountable. If nothing else, you will gain wisdom and patience from this experience (if you do it right).
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  #7  
Unread 19th December 2009, 07:56 PM
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Ask her out unless she is married.
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  #8  
Unread 20th December 2009, 11:44 PM
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Just make sure you're not a minor. (-;
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  #9  
Unread 22nd December 2009, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by heron View Post
Just make sure you're not a minor. (-;
haha.... I'm two years above minority.
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  #10  
Unread 23rd December 2009, 12:22 AM
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The 9 year gap wont be a problem if you have " your own things"...you are a grown up technically at 20 but a 29 year old woman is really a grown up lol...do you still live with your parents do you work have solid finances...you should look into these things as a woman more older is probably looking for something more serious and for someone that has the means to do so has well.
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