OC symptoms and Schizophrenia.

Okay I'll tell ya'll how my OCD theme started. Back in 2005 april beginning of may, I started going thru a Psychosis. Obsessivly thinking I gave my GF at the time, HIV. No I don't have HIV! Was hearing commanding voices and seeing thing and I was convinced that I had to turn myself in. Well I went to one of the worst jails in America. OKC, Oklahoma.


It's stressed me out so badly when I got out after like 5 or 7 days. I really was messed up. I saw faces that looked like demons and I thought cannibals were after me. So after I got picked up we went to the clubs where me and my roommate work at. I took 5 X pills cos I wanted to die, I was scared for my life and I was terrified of going to prison for the HIV theme and well I go to this store right across the street from the club and they saw that I was acting funny so they called the cops.


So after the cops came they took me to jail again the same day I got out. They asked me how many did I take and I said 5. So they rush me into this jail hostiptal thingy and stick a cathiter in me. And then they put me in a Ambulance and shot me up in both arms with something and I'm out cold. Wake up in detox and everything was funny. I was so scared and then my friend came and got me. I know and saw that my body was green but I have no evidence to back that up. It was like that for like three weeks.


I thought I had died. Well I brake a couples window to get there attention cos I thought cannibals where after me and then I go to jail again. And I was so screwed up that I wouldn't talk to no one. Well after 52 days in jail about this time I'm pretty much lost my mind. With no help from doctors or the staff at the jail. Finally after like 2 month's of taking abilify I had finally started to come back to normal. Well I lost my GF and well things were bad. I stopped taking the abilify and started useing drugs again. And they said prior that I had a Meth induced Psychosis, which I can see I was smoking alot of it.


After about 9 months when ever I would smoke weed it would throw me into a mini psychosis that lasted a hour and would stop if I didn't do it again. Well I became a christian and really wanting to please God and well after about a yr and a half. I started going thru my first bout of Pure-O and well if any of you are familiar with Pure-O then you have heard of POCD which one thinks he's a pedo and fears he will molest. Well I started smoking weed again and then I thought I was at God's Judgment.


And well that's how the OCD switch from one theme to another. Cos I reflect on what I went thru in 2005 and think well maybe I died and I was green cos I died and everything that is around me is what God's see's as a sinful life. So there you guy's go, Hope you enjoyed!!!

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I accept it by Faith that it is the Word of God.

HI Dabro,
Trying to get some clarity here. So are you saying that the OCD latches onto your ability to remember those past drug induced images and suggests to you that maybe those things were or might be some sort of "sign" that you are going to face God's judgement or that maybe by remembering them you are already condemned? Because OCD will latch onto all sorts of "signs" both past and current and attempt to use them as fodder to keep us on the topic of our obsessions. It's like this bully that won't let you look away from him and keeps tapping you on the shoulder and smirking... "hey... remember me.. time to get busy obsessing again."
One of my "signs" that my obsessions might have been valid was that within a month or so of giving a public testimony about what God had taught me through living with Panic disorder I ended up in a really bad flare of religious OCD. I remember thinking that God was punishing me for getting up and talking about my relationship with Him when all along it was fake. It really felt like that, but now that I'm enjoying some balanced brain chemistry the whole idea seems totally absurd to me.
I'm saddened by the pain you've endured... but confident in the fact that "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it." I'm glad to remember that "He is the author and the finisher of my faith." It really helps me to get over myself... warts and all.
(The warts are metaphorical... don't want you conjuring up some image of an old bat with a big wart on her nose - scary!!)
Praying for you buddy,
Mitzi

Ya it latches on to past events and. Well I'm not obsessing right now which is good but when it does come up it goes like this. Ya I rememeber the pain I've endured and well the past images of the sticking the needles in my arms not know what it was and then falling alseep. This event is what causes my OCD to start flaring and things of that nature. But I recovered quick from my Psychosis in my opinion. But I beleive now that God was humbling me so that he would become my Father. I was soooo hard headed that I would not listen. But I love God soooo much now. Thanks Mitzi.

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I accept it by Faith that it is the Word of God.

I am glad you came back from that dabro. Some people never do. If God has allowed satan to humble you what are you doing with it?

have you given your heart to the Lord yet? Are you sure of your salvation? If you need us, staff is only a pm away.

All things work together for good for those who are called according to His purposes.

We are praying for you brother

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My name is Bill
Recovery Team Supervisor


Do you have extra love and compassion to share? Then join Recovery as a Moderator! We need you! Ask me!

praying for you too.

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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Through Teen Challenge, God delivered me from self-injury and depression, and taught me how to forgive my father for the sexual abuse in my past. Jesus saved my life! There is hope!
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"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven!"
This is the first step for all of us, don't you think?
Many of us don't know that were thirsty for Him until we are humbled.
It's a severe mercy.
Mitzi